Why do i have trouble talking to people and opening up?

Question

Ok when im around friends and every 1 near me I know well im a madman im wild, spontaneous and one of the wildest people around. But when im around any body i dontknow or feel comfortable around i clam up and barely talk and if i do i talk in a calm low voice instead of bouncing off the walls like normal. What is up is it a disorder or just the way i was raised and does any 1 else have this problem

P.S. this makes it very hard to meet new people and make me seem look a loner to some tilthey see me with friends

Answer 1

I have that exact same problem

I think its because we've known our friends for long..or long enough..that we've become confident with them..confident enough to act like complete idiots infront of them..and know that they will just laugh at you..or with you.

Instead when we meet someone new..we do not know how they will react..or what they will think..therefore we keep a low profile..making it extremely hard to meet new people.

trust me im exactly the same..im still struggling with it..

you have to slowly start opening up..i know that after you spend enough time with those "new" people you've met....you'll become just like you were with your other friend.

but unfortunally it takes longer for us..cause we shut down.

you need to try and become more confident of yourself and start to appriciate yourself more...
easy to say hard to do ..
goodluck

Answer 2

After nearly thirty year of counseling people I have come to realize that we are all created as unique individuals. Practice and training have giving me tha ability to find some common ground with almost anyone I meet within 30-60 seconds. I was easy going and friendly even as a child. But, we are not all given the same personalities. As I have to remind my wife from time to time, when she is dealing with one of our many grandchildren, just because they choose to do things differently, doesn't mean they are wrong. Just because you enter into relationships differently than your buddies, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or, your approach in meeting strangers. Can you imagine the chaos of a room full of people bouncing off the walls with every person that came into the room. The fact that you have friends who understand and care about you is proof that your approach works for you. Defense mechanisms are natural. And, the feeling out process, when meeting strangers, is part of the protective nature of the beast. It is also the means by which we evaluate our environment. It determines how we protect ourselves, our mate and our offspring. Prudence dictates that we don't charge into unfamiliar territory, but, survey the field, then proceed. Caution is a virtue, not a weakness.

Good luck, and God Bless!

Answer 3

Start small; try talking to the guy behind the counter when you are checking out your groceries, or waiting for your burger, or to the salesperson when you are buying a shirt, and ask them how their day is going. It will make them happy, and it will get you used to talking to strangers.

You are probably afraid of what other people will say to you or think of you, as someone else has said. Keep in mind that you cannot please everyone, and that if they don't like you, then might as well find out sooner than later.

If someone is rude to you, then that person either has had a bad day, or else they have low self-esteem. It has nothing to do with you, so don't sweat it if you are afraid of meeting a rude person or hearing rude comments.

Answer 4

Don't worry dude, I used to be like that when I was young. I come from a very mixed background and had hell going through school because I was 'different' and couldn't relate completely to 1 particular race.

You just need to expose yourself more to other people and don't get too caught up in what other people think about you.

Answer 5

i guess im like that too or used to be i dont know almost everyone is like that u just have to b urself and b strong on ur own without having ur friends around u soo dont worry everyone goes through it.....it wont always be like that ull change and b the same with everyone ....friends and strangers i mean whats the difference were all human!!!

Answer 6

Sounds like you are shy, or in other words have an anxiety disorder. You could go see a phsycologist and they may be able to give you some anxiety medicine to help.

Answer 7

i used to be the same way... try having someone you know be with you when you are around new people. it does make it alittle easier

Answer 8

Because you are worried about what people think about you. When you stop caring about what they think then things will become alot easier for you.

Answer 9

uncomplicated, i like to get my acquaintances critiques on what I could do and doubtless they have comparable memories to share with you. i like sharing with acquaintances, it brings us closer and likely that's what acquaintances are for! i come across it unusual many human beings mentioned no and that its troublesome.

Answer 10

just going out on a limb...but do you wanna find a girl to ask out..cause you are most likely trying to open up to girls..ask another question and ask some girls for advice on asking them out...