2007-02-28 17:04:20 · 13 answers · asked by Steve 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There was a man who rushed into a Fedex stand in Jerusalem,
He asked the man there if they would ship caskets,
The man asked with a twisted face, "Who is it for?"
"Oh, my mother in law, she just passed away and i want to burry here in the US."
The Fedex man replied, "wow, you must love your mother in law."
The man replies, "who, me, no way, i just heard about this guy who was burried here and three days later he rose from the dead, and i am NOT, going to risk that!"
2007-02-28 17:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by joe d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because I'm both redneck and Pagan, I love redneck Pagan jokes!
You might be a redneck Pagan...
If you use a ‘Rhett and Scarlet kissing as Atlanta Burns behind them’ print as your Beltane fire ritual invitation…
If your may pole is held upright in a spare tire....
If all your circles are triangular because ya flat out refuse
to call the North quarter…
If your altar has ANY pictures, statues or crocheted dolls of Elvis…
If your chalice is a Mason jar…
If your tarot cards are baseball cards of the
Atlanta Braves starting lineup...
If for ritual cakes and ale, you serve Little Debbies and Budweiser…
If You carry your ritual staff in your trucks gun rack….
If The bell on your altar was once worn by a farm animal…
If Your response to "Blessed Be" has ever been "Hay'ell yeah!"…
If You found that a 'possum was your familiar, but you
still hunt ‘em….
If you have ever used a cigarette during a ritual because
the convenience store was out of wintergreen incence...
If You have ever considered doing a love spell on livestock…
2007-03-01 01:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the beginning of time,everyone's was black.And,there was a huge pot of white paint.There were mainly four types of peo[le: The English,Chinese,Malays and Indians.
God agreed to give the pot of paint to them so they could see who was what race,on the condition that they jump in race by race and not all at once.
The English were the most kiasu,which is "afraid to lose" in Hokkien,immediately jumped in.Thus,they were the fairest in skin of all the races.
The Chinese,seeing that the English had jumped into the pot of paint,felt jealous and jumped in second.
By now,the pot of paint was almost empty because of the two races that have jumped in.
The Malays were next,jumping into the pot of paint without a second thought.
The Indians were last,but after the Malays jumped in,the pot was empty except for the bottom of the pot.They landed with a big "thud",on their hands,forehead and feet.
That's why nowadays,the English are the fairest,the Chinese are second,the Malays are brownish and the Indians are BLACK!
2007-03-01 01:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by die 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When people are sad to see the death of the likes of well say................Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jack Van Impe.....that would be a pretty funny religious joke. Smells like old furniture in here.
2007-03-01 01:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Q. Whats the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
A. Acne at least waits till you’re a teenager to come on your face.
2007-03-01 01:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lately it's been a short one.
When you are discouraged and at the end of your rope, remember even Moses was once a basket case.
2007-03-01 02:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Cookie777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religion is the joke, we just forgot the punch line. So, we'll just drag it out until we remember.
2007-03-01 01:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
And just so no one can of picking on other religions, I use one about my own.
What's an Asatruar's idea of a balanced diet? A horn of mead in each hand.
2007-03-01 01:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends what you want to change it into...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cthul.
Cthul-who?
Well, that's only counts as one real religion...
And I do tell them.
2007-03-01 01:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by treycapnerhurst 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have one
religion is not to be joked about
2007-03-01 01:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by quiz me 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋