Can you offer any words of wisdom to help me get over my fear of life?

Question

ive been very afraid of everything in my life. disease, pressure, faliure, women, rejection. and as a result i have not done much in my life


i recently turned down a invitation to travel to india because i was frightened of getting a disease and that the plane would crash. i rarely do anything anymore. im not sure if this is a pyschological problem because it doesnt have a severe afect on my daily life. any advice?

Answer 1

You fear life and you fear death, otherwise flying would be fearless. You need to get some coping skills. We all experience everything in your list. We don't like it, we are down for awhile but we eventually get over it to live the precious life that we were given. You have got to embrace you. You are loved, you give love whether you realize it or not.
Just think of all you are missing out on and talk to a professional who will help you live this wonderful life, at least cautiously, but not fearfully.

Answer 2

Life is a blessing.
This is our one chance.
Our one shot.
There is no more.
Make a difference.

You must look at things realistically. What are the odds?

I have had some pretty rotten things happen in my life, but I never ever have felt regretful for going on a plane to a see and learn of a new and different culture. It would only have a positive affect. Maybe getting out of your current surroundings would totally change you. Maybe you have built a prison around you. One that re-enforces all of these unimportant negative feelings.
So, to you it may seem safe, but it obviously is not, safe or healthy.

Change is good, embrace it. At least try to learn to. You'll never know unless you try.

Try focusing on things that are more important than women, rejection etc. I can think of nothing more unimportant to let negatively affect your life than what you listed.

If you had to write a list of words describing your life, would you list any of these things on it? Probably not.

I have heard people say they "wish they were never born".
I say "take responsibility" for the QUALITY of your life.

Allow some happiness to come in, it's not really that hard. It's a lot less stressful than wallowing in selfpitty. If you have to fake it, then fake it, you'll find it was all really just wasted time and opportunity.

It's more fun to sit and talk about the funny accents you heard or the weird food you ate than it is to talk about women. rejection etc...
If you prepare, wash your hands alot, take sanitizer for your hands and drink bottled water. I think you could go anywhere and be totally safe from being exposed. I even suggest taking a face mask like you can buy from the drug or hardware store to wear on the plane, it will protect you from air born germs.

This is your get out of jail free card, time to use it.

Answer 3

When you use terms like divorce or separation, it indicates to me a pretty far gone relationship in terms of communication. If this were just about her being tired of the same old grind, I'd say wait her out, but that is not what it sounds like. In my experience, uncommunicative people who want "space" soon start putting other people in it. (There may already be someone or something else in her space.) Someone who won't discuss big issues is being secretive...ask yourself why? Are you so obstinate or impatient that you do not listen? If you want to salvage your marriage, you should go into counseling now. With or without your wife. But, by all means, point out to her that she owes it TO YOUR DAUGHTER to explore every possible avenue of assistance in dealing with this family problem you two share. I think a commitment from her to go into counseling with you should be a trade-off for the "space" she wants. At least, in counseling, you will find out where you truly stand and how she really feels about your future together. You'll both be able to work out a better functioning marriage.Ask around for a counselor with a good success rate.It will be the wisest investment you will ever make. Remember that a time comes when we must face the truth and cut our losses; no matter how painful, it is better in the long run.

Answer 4

No. Because you DO have a pyschological problem- and all the words in the world are not going to help you. But I will tell you this; you ARE going to die. And death is NEVER the worst thing that can happen to a person. The WORST thing that can happen to you- is that you die after never having lived. And that means you've been living a nightmare. Go out & get help. NOW. Even if you get it & only live one more day...- It's better to know one day without fear- than never to have lived at all...

Answer 5

I answer this only because it intrigues me to some degree, but I am no expert in psychology. I suppose the famous words, there is nothing to fear but fear itself, come to mind. Many people have fears or concerns about all kinds of things; phobias about bugs or heights, whatever, yet they lead normal lives otherwise.

Sounds to me, however, from reading your post that one of your biggest issues is simply fear of failure, and of then dying not having accomplished anything that you might have wanted to. And because of your behavior its a self fulfilling prophesy. Because you fear doing things, you don't do them, so you don't accomplish anything and the cycle continues.

I suppose it begs the question, why do you have these fears? It could simply stem from a lack of self confidence. If I were you, short of entering some form of therapy, I would take the route of a salesman. By that I mean, its all about the numbers. Take women for example. Sure, you are going to be rejected, just about everyone experiences it at some point in time, but if you simply keep asking, eventually someone will accept. In sales you just keep on making calls. You might get rejected 20 times before you get even one appointment, but then you get one. Then you simply learn to make a certain number of calls to reach your goals. If you want to find a mate, for example, just keep plugging along until you find one that is interested. Will you fail? Only if you stop trying. The hard part is getting yourself pumped up enough to actually start. But once you get on a roll it gets easier.

You can use this same principal in many avenues in life and can be successful. You just have to accept that you will not be successful 100% of the time, but eventually, if your goals are realistic, you will earn some measure of success.

It could also be simple depression that could be easily treated. There really is no way for anyone here to say, emphatically, here is what you need to do. I would probably seek out a qualified counselor or therapist and just spend some time learning about yourself, your past, present and where you want to go, then figure out how to get there and move past your fears. Time moves quickly and the longer you wait, the more of life that will pass you by.

Start by setting a goal, and absolutely you have to write it down somewhere, and then promise yourself to complete that goal. That goal could be as simple as calling one therapist or counselor and making an appointment, its the first step in the right direction.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

First off, you are in Denial. You say that this doesnt affect yopur life, but you already stated that you rarely do anything anymore - soooo it IS affecting your life. You just aren't paying attantion to HOW is it affecting your life - you are taking that part for granted.
Go see a professional to talk to - it will help.

Answer 7

I would definetly schedule an appointment with your dr and dont be afraid or embaressed to tell him/her how you are really feeling.

Answer 8

hullo
well,you may be suffering from avoidant personality disorder,or phobia,anyhow seeing a psychologist will do you good.

Dr solo

Answer 9

Dont take life too seriously.........its not permanent!