Would you date someone with kids?

Question

I am a single mother of three small children- ages 3,4, and 5. Just wondering your opinion on dating someone with kids?

Answer 1

There are a lot of people out there who would not mind dating someone with small kids. It all depends on the two people and the personality of the kids involved. Lots of nuts and bolts to consider.

The fact that they are very young is a good thing because they will adjust to having a new adult in the house a lot easier than older kids who have entered their rebellious teen years.

Personally, I would not date anyone with kids - but that's because I do not want children in any way shape or form.

The main thing is to find a decent person who will love them as if they were that person's natural children. Not any easy thing to find, but there are people like that out there.

Whatever you do, wait to introduce the kids to this person until you are 100% sure they are going to love your kids an not abuse them.

Answer 2

Probably not. I have before and it never works out. You never come first. You always end up coming second, third or fourth(behind the kids and sometimes the ex too) in the relationship and it's not a good feeling. It isn't good for a relationship and things usually end up one sided. Also most people who have children struggle have financial struggles. I would only date someone with kids if they are grown and out or the house and the person I am dating is no longer financially in a bad place either.

Answer 3

As much as I hate to say it, no. I may go on a few fun dates, be friends and hang out with the kids, but I wouldn't get serious about the relationship. Why are kids an issue? 1) I really don't want to be the number 4 person in a girl friends life and would feel right if I was higher on that list. 2) I want my own kids and mixed families are nothing more than an emotional headache for the kids. 3) I'm not ready to be the stand in father for three kids if the father isn't around. 4) If the "babies dadda' is still around, that isn't something I want to deal with. 5) If there are more than one father involved, I'd be concerned about how long you'd keep me around.

Answer 4

Absolutely Not! Been there ,done that. It totally defeats the whole idea of dating. You know intimacy, romance, sex, etc.
My suggestion to you is that if you find a guy willing to date a single mother, is to delay the "Family Outing", Chuck E Cheese,kids at the park kind of thing as long as you can.
Do not force even subtly,the issue of group (family activities).
Even a "Hot" woman an 8 lets say, is downgraded to a 4 or 5 by having someone elses kids.
You may not like what I have to say, but pay attention to it , it's the way most guys feel. If you meet a guy who likes you, it's you he likes not your pack. Be very low key about kids or you'll chase him off.

Answer 5

I know this is bad to say but I probably would not for several reasons. I would have issues not being the child's father and raising someone else's offspring or if their father is involved then having to deal with him which wouldn't be fun either. Also whenever you date someone with kids you won't be able to do things you want to do because the kids come first and it can be draining if the kids arent well behaved and don't listen. Those kids have nothing to do with you and are not your problem. Don't let them become your problem.

Answer 6

well it all depends on the person your trying to date . There are several issues involved .. I always think about this .. 1-will my kids be accepted ,2-can he be understanding if ihalf to leave in the middle of a date to see about my kid ,
altho you may not ask the guy to play daddy but some assume that your looking for a father to your kids .. so just be careful when dating .. some guys also say they are okay with it then get jealous of the attention you give your kids , and when they want to break up they use your kids as an excuse ... :(
That's some guys . . Not all guys ... if you find a special man and he accepts the kids and loves all of you and would do anything for you .. than your lucky keep him ..
good luck in your quest .. :)

Answer 7

No I wouldn't. I have before and would never again. I could not deal with the baby daddy drama, the ex in laws drama, weird awkward holidays and family moments, lack of intimate time to spend together, lack of money and time(everything was spent on the kids), lack of time alone doing enjoyable things, kids not listening, etc. it was draining. I would date someone if their kids were grown and out of the house (over the age of 18) but otherwise no never again. I thought I could do it but in the end it was too much baggage. They are not your kids and want their real dad around no matter how terrible he is.

Answer 8

No because my family and friends would be wondering why I couldn't get a woman to have kids of my own with. Also I've dated women with kids before and they all have drama/emotional attachment still with their ex husbands/father of their kids. I felt like an outsider. It wasn't worth it.

Answer 9

OMG, I hope men would date someone with kids. I'm a single mom too. I have been in college and decided that this was the time for me to be single, I need to focus on other things, ya know. I am due to graduate and hoping there are men out there who still date women with kids. I wouldn't worry about it. Now a days everyone is a single parent or divorced. We all have kids. It will work out for us, it has to.

Answer 10

Probably not, not long term anyway because there are so many issues e.g.

1. You loved this guy enough to have his babies, so when he comes back you will do the right thing for your kids - get back with him.

2. If we broke up I will have already bonded with the kids who will also be upset.

3. Friends and family asking why I 'couldnt get a girl of my own with kids of my own'.

etc.. etc.. these are all perfectly valid reasons.