Ok, tell me what you think.I'm all about my poetry.?

Question

What you mean to me.
My baby you mean the world to me,
Threw my eyes you'd never see,
only the love I feel for you,oh tell what to do.
I need for you to see what you mean to me.

So many stars in the nights sky,It's taken me a little while.
Look at me now,my heart is a circle never ending my love for you.
Oh tell me what I need to do.
I need for you to see what you mean to me.

Now my baby,I will say,"For all of tomorrow" and every single day,
I love you my baby,you mean the world to me,you are all of the stars in my heaven to hold while I'm young until I grow old.
I cherish your soul until eternity,for always my love we will be.
Now once again listen and see all of what you mean to me.

Answer 1

Wonderful

Answer 2

It looks like you have potential. Unfortunately it's not being used.

First, you need to learn to use correct grammar and the normal format used in poems.

If you notice, there is no rhythm in your poetry. Poetry is in essence an extension of music. It is the normal rhythm of language which carries the reader through the rhyme. Also, while a poem does not have to rhyme necessarily, most readers enjoy it when a poem rhymes consistently and within the rhythm.

(There is a reason that rhyme and rhythm are spelled so similarly.)

Also, if you want to use an analogy or a metaphor, it is important to continue the thought. There is no direct theme to this poem.

I would suggest that you look through some of the classic poetry of the world. A lot of it is garbage and unintelligble to the common person, but a lot is deeply meaningful and beautiful.

Try Robert Burns, Emily Dickinson, Goethe(translated), Groth, Poe, among others.

Answer 3

It's ok. But too obvious. (the meaning.)
I think you need more figurative language like metaphores and similes and comparisons.

Remember, this is just constructive criticism. With practice, you could become talented in writing poetry. Try all different kinds.

Haikus, free-verse, refrained, hidden meanings.

Experiment.

;)

Good luck!

Answer 4

don't use the word "baby" so much, it's repetitive and makes the poem really boring, try to come up with another term of endearment, perhaps think of something more personal so that it will have more of an effect on the person you're giving it to

Answer 5

Your poem is hard to follow,
I started to choke and I couldn't swallow.
You should never rhyme with the same word,
Are you in second grade? Or maybe third?

Try again but this time please,
Don't think so hard, your brain might freeze.
Make it simple and take it easy,
That is how your poem can please me.

Answer 6

The I cherish your soul ...sucks, take that out~~ This is constructive criticism

Answer 7

I'm fairly certain "threw" should be changed to "through" but very nice poetry. :)

Answer 8

Very sweet

Answer 9

I'm not into poetry, but it sounds good to me.

Answer 10

I liked it. Gets your point across, of what they mean to you.