I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now, and we're both in love. I can completely be myself around her, and we usually have a lot of fun. Yet, recently we've been fighting a lot, and I've gone through spells of wanting to end the relationship. In a few months, I'm leaving for the army, and we won't have a whole lot of contact for about 4 years. She says she is willing to stick with me, and I believe her. Yet, she fears that she loves me more than I love her, and I feel like it is true. I love her, but at the same time I'm having my doubts about the relationship. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what else is out there, or I just focus on all the fighting that has happened between us lately. We've almost broken up quite a few times, and shes so wary of that now. She is an amazing girl, and most of the time she makes me feel good, but I still have my doubts.
2007-02-28 16:11:42 · 16 answers · asked by nowayman72 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I know this is probably something only I can truly decide, but I'd like to hear some advice and experience still. Thank you for your time and help.
2007-02-28 16:12:04 · update #1
Well captain I think you have already made your choices. You are going off to the war so the war won't come here to our shores, right.Right. Don't bother saving our civil rights or freedoms, if you haven't noticed they have been gone along time. We didn't loose them to world terrorism, we lost them to domestic terrorism brought to you by our own administration, thank you #43. Anyway bon voyage sailor. Have a ball! I see our good ole boys are using peoples pet dogs and childern as target practice in Iraq. That's all good, right, Right.
2007-02-28 16:30:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All relationships are about compromise. Whether that's just boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage. If you love each other, why not get married. If you don't feel that's possible right now, then you should seriously consider breaking up. I don't know what you mean by "we won't have a whole lot of contact for about 4 years", considering that you can come home on leave, she can come visit you, you might be stationed close to home, etc, but if you honestly feel the way that you seem to, then break up. You won't be doing yourself, or her, any favors. 4 years is a long time, you will both be lonely, and I have yet to see a long distance relationship work. My wife and I have had our share of arguments and have thought about divorce, but we are still together (20 years), and the longest we have been seperated was 6 months. It's rough, but you can only know yourself.
2007-02-28 21:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by My world 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from what you have said, it sounds like you do love her very much. Have you thought about the fact that maybe since you are leaving soon, that you might subconsciously be trying to push her away. Maybe trying to prepare both of yourselves for this long seperation, thinking that it would be best to just end it now?
If you really think you love her, I think you should stick with it. Don't worry, you will get to see her and communicate during your time away. This is a good opportunity to see just how much you love her. Maybe even get that feeling of you can't live without her. You would be surprised at how much your relationship and love for eachother can grow during this time apart. My husband is in the Air Force. And there are times that are difficult, but we always come out stonger in the end. Just follow your heart. Good luck! Also, I think it is great that you have made the decision to searve and protect our country!
I'm sorry, but I was just looking over some of the other answers people have given. Speaking from experience, if your girlfriend truely loves you as you say she does, she will stick with you and support you through the good times and bad. Yes, being away from eachother can be hard, but that is not how it will always be. And the time apart is limited. She can even accompany you at times depending on the location.
2007-02-28 16:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by lululegs2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'll tell you my story... My boyfriend joined the Air Force.. We were both young and not ready for marriage. We broke things off even though it was extremely difficult for both of us. We had little contact for 4 years because he was stationed in Alaska. Oddly enough he got stationed close to me and we reconnected got married and have been happily married for almost 2 years. Four years apart gave us a lot of time to grow up and establish ourselves and figure out what we want in life.
You never know what will happen. Joining the military will be a huge strain on the relationship. It honestly seems you two are going down two different roads and its best to let nature run its course. If you are having doubts now they will only get worse. Enjoy being young and establishing yourself.
2007-03-01 08:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I spent a good chunk of our relationship apart before we got married. He joined the National Guard three months after we got married. He been considering it for a long time so it was no surprise. You need to sit down with your girlfriend and decide where you both want your relationship to go. Do you want to stay together through all this? Do you want to take a break? Just from what you've said, it doesn't sound like you've talked a whole lot about how you both feel about your decision. You two need to have a heart to heart. I wish you all the best.
2007-02-28 16:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty from a stranger:
Cut your losses. I'm sure she's an amazing girl, but maybe she's not the perfect girl for YOU.
You're too young to try to make a relationship work that isn't. It's not your fault, her fault, or anyone's fault. Allow both of you to truly find that person who is your perfect match.
Going in to the army, you don't need the added stress of long distance arguments and uncertainty.
Let your departure to basic be the start of a new life.
Good luck to you and stay safe.
2007-03-02 01:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by fredonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you 100%
I live in Germany and well I don't want you to end up cheating on her or her cheating on you.
My friends boyfriend just got back from the war, he was gone for 14 months. They would fight almost everday but they worked it out. He broke up with her once because of the stress but two days after they got back together.
If you really love this girl and she really loves you why don't you just get married? Of course your going to have doubts because your scared.
Everything will work out fine. Just talk to each other.
2007-02-28 21:09:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been the girl on the recieving end of this. It is better to end this now. And leave it open for now. You will miss her, and the comfort of being with a girlfriend, but you have to be fair to her. This really isn't about you, if you have doubts now, being away from her will only make it worse, and makes the wait for the "last shoe to drop" even worse on her.
2007-02-28 16:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by Ammie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to change so much as a person and grow into yourself while at boot camp and throughout your military career. There is no hurry to rush anything just start your new job and play it by ear. You all will work it out its just that emotions are high because it is such a turning point in your life. One day at a time and thank you for protecting us. Good Luck
2007-02-28 16:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll be honest. It won't work out. She will find a civilian while you're gone. I'm worrying about the same stuff. I know my girlfriend will find a new guy. I'm not naive. I think you and I will have better lives in the Army if we just end our relationships before we ship out (especially since you're already fighting with her and contemplating breaking up). We're young, there will be more girls.
2007-02-28 16:19:17 · answer #10 · answered by Moose187 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋