A single mom that doesn't date?

Question

I am a single mother of a three year old boy and I don't date. Not because I don't have plenty of opportunities, but because I don't want to risk my son's stablility.
Every time a potential date asks whether he can take me to dinner and I tell him I don't date...he comes at me with some smarmy comment. I don't understand why it is socially unacceptable for a single mom to not date. All opinions welcome. Thank you.

Answer 1

Good 4 you! Family first!

Your child is and should always be the most important thing in your life.

However, me thinks you are selling yourself short here! You deserve a relationship with another. Your child will adapt!

I am an (almost) devorced dad of a 14 yo. Mom and I get along very nicely - She is my only true friend!

We both need to be there for our child!

Hope this helps,

The Ol' Sasquatch Ü

Answer 2

being that the child is only 3 he probably doesnt even know what a date is. Take him to a sitter and go out. Being worried about his stability is normal. Dont introduce your son to anyone unless you feel that the relationship is getting serious and that the man might be a permanent part of your sons life. If you were to meet someone in the next several years and get married and whatnot your child will hardly remember life without that man in his life. Just be upfront with those you date. Tell them that you have a son but that you are very cautious. If they dont understand than they aren't worthy.

Answer 3

I think your decision is very respectable. I am a single mom too, of a 2 year old boy. I always can understand why moms feel the need to prtect their children in any way possible.

That being said, you need to have a life and be yourself and not deprive yourself of finding love. I know it sounds corny, but when I finally dated after breaking up with my son's father, I thought it was useless and just a rebound thing, but we're still together today, 8 months later. (In fact, I'm getting a foot massage as I type!) I am SO happy, and my son is SO blessed to have my new boyfriend in his life, and to have his dad's new girlfriend in his life and he feels so lucky to have the 4 of us as "parents". It won't ruin your son's stability, you'll just be adding more people to his life to protect, and love him and to provide him with a another positive role model. And you'll be providing yourself with support in single parenting, and a new love and maybe a few foot massages here and there. :)

Good luck to you - you seem like a great mom, no matter what you decide.

Answer 4

Who cares what's socially acceptable? You're doing what you feel is right for your son, and I applaud you for that.
Do you see men on a friendship basis? If a father figure for your son is something you'd eventually like to have, you're going to have to date a guy eventually :-)
If you start dating, it's smart to separate the two - keep your dating life to yourself until you're sure this is a long term thing, to keep your son from being hurt.
Just a word of advice - there is the other extreme from single moms who bring men in and out of their children's lives. My mom (I found out her reasoning a year or two ago) rarely dated when we were growing up. I asked her why, and she told me that with all the crazies out there, she was trying to keep things safe and stable for the 3 of us kids. I appreciate her efforts to protect us, but it also harmed us. We didn't have a steady male role model, and we also had no basis to understand healthy marriage/relationships. All 3 of us wound up in unhealthy relationships early on, because we had nothing to compare them to.
Again... good for you for doing what you feel is best for your son, and no one knows that better than you.

Answer 5

You are only doing what feels correct at this time in life if someone is interested in becoming more involved with you and your family tell them that chance may present itself in the future but that know you are just not interested in any relationship. If that doesn't work tell them to be careful with the door on the way out!! Have a nice day.

Answer 6

It is not bad of you to not date because of your son. You have realized that men coming in and out of your sons life will or can affect him. I watch super nanny alot and she said the exact same thing. If one man has already been taken or left out of your sons life it does not need to happen repeatedly it can traumatize him. Why don't you try dating but do not introduce him too your son until you know it's good and serious. Good luck!

Answer 7

nicely i think of you may desire to be a hundred% advantageous of your sexual choose with yet another lady till now you introduce this international on your son, there are extremely some thoughts/differences in contact on your sons behalf. Do you ever plan on dating a guy returned and settling down? Do you intend on being with this lady for years on end? Is she a stable impression on your son? could your son approve? If he would not approve you have gotten international conflict III on your arms, without the suited communique between you 2 concerning this - it may desire to develop into disaster. individually i could have a heart to heart with your self and in the experience that your heart strings pull in direction of this association, the subsequent heart to heart could desire to be along with your son. And there ya have it - impressive suggestion from the sixteen twelve months old's answer precise above mine....

Answer 8

You can do whatever you want, date or don't date, the rest of the world will carry on.

Answer 9

If someone ask you on a date, and you like them, go for it

Answer 10

go with your heart and don't listen to idiots, only you will know in your heart when the time is right and if anyone is worthy enough.

only braindead people do what society expects of them!