He has a wife of just 2 years who treats him really badly. They do not behave like a married couple. She is always insulting him in front of his friends and colleagues. They all think he is mad to be with her. She is violent and volatile. They havent been intimate for well over a year. I really like this guy. She has complete control over him as a person. He supports her 100% and she has found out about us. And is seriously PISSED off! fact is I dont think she really likes him at all.
2007-02-28 14:15:30 · 13 answers · asked by calb23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay - who says she's violent, volatile, treats him badly, hasn't had sex with him for over a year, and insults him in front of friends and colleagues? If it's him and you haven't actually seen any of this with your own eyes, then you are being lied to big-time by HIM.
The reason why I say this is that there is a script that all married men use when they try to hook another woman. And what you've said is pretty much the script.
Be logical about this - if it really is so bad between them he would LEAVE.
Even if what he says is the truth, that is still no reason to get involved with him in the first place!
If she has found out, she is pissed off because you are on her territory, and rightly so, because she is married to him!
If it is just him telling you she is seriously pissed off - the chances are that he is bored now of the no-strings sex and wants you gone. After all, the violent, volatile ex might do anything to you. It's designed to scare you off.
I bet he told you he was married pretty much straight away, didn't he? That is married man code for "Are you up for no-strings sex?" And I am betting good money that she's 'found out' only after you have suggested that you want more from him.
Why not get your self-respect back together and get away from this man, who has used your female empathy and lack of strong morals against you. I'm not going to give you a lecture, but next time find yourself a man who is free and single. What were you thinking, getting involved with a married man???
2007-02-28 18:16:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No question here ^.^......you looking for opinion?...
Are you a woman? 0.< Your icon is male default, unless I'm much mistaken, which I have been many, many times.
Women will always look for security from men, and men will always look for acceptance from women.
You want him to be yours, he wants you to accept him. Those two things are not mutual, essentially, you want each other for different reasons, and have different things that you want.
Point is, he did marry her, so he did love her. Infact, he's still with her.
But before you do anything at all, you have to do one thing to be sure.
Stop having sex with him. Be close, but no sex. See what he turns into. Does he 'go looking for someone else'? Then he's as bad as his wife is supposedly. Who he, by the way, hasn't left. Because she may be volatile, but she is safe. Or at least as convinient as you are for him.
Essentially, he needs to MAKE A DECISION. It isn't easy leaving someone you're married to and living with. But if he has you, he REALLY has you, he should be able to make that choice. Ever spoke to the wife? Whos side do you think he'd take if you argued?
Just be honest to yourself, take things as you find them.
To play devils advocate here. Do you want a husand out of him, or a sexual partner?....if it's a partner things can stay as they are till they run their course.
Nothing is ever that complicated.
2007-02-28 20:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by Old long ear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear girl, do you think you will be happy if the same thing is done to you,another woman going out with your husband? or you've decided not to marry?
do you think she just turned into this horrible person you are describing to us?was she this horrible in the beginning when they were dating? why then did he marry her in the first place? if she was nice before he married her and changed after marriage,what made her change?
Please take your shoes and flee not run,flee,he is committing adultery and you are fornicating, he is just using you, married men are like that, they will spoil their wives reputation to enjoy the fun that single women can give them with no strings attached and then give you the excuse that they can't leave the woman for you with more lies cos in actual fact the wife will be a loving caring woman whom they feel guilty about for cheating on and run back to her until they get bored again and get another willing morally weak woman who will believe their lies.
If you wait patiently and pray (it still works) you will get a nice young man of your own and marry,this married man is for someone else,leave him no matter how hard it is or how much you will miss his touches.
2007-02-28 19:47:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
men aren't half as complicated as women!
if what you've described as his marriage is true then you've got to ask him why he's still in it. and i mean ask him, just be straight and keep it simple. use your intuition too, you'll know if he's telling the truth or not.
when you find out his reasons, you'll know what to do next. i'd say it's heart to heart time for you both...
tell him how you feel about him, and unless he has a damn good justifiable "but..." then he isn't serious about you.
the only justifiable "but" i can think of is children. if there are no children involved, then why is he hesitating?
let us know how all this turns out.
2007-03-01 22:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, sun_is_shining is right, this guy has a script, i unfortunately have loads of mates that cheat and i hear the same shi*e everytime being spoken down their phones, leave this ar*e and get with someone that's gonna treat you right!!!
2007-02-28 21:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Andyman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take him to a hotel to have fun with him one night, after you two have some fun. sit down beside him and tell him that all the hurt that he gets from her will go away if he leaves her, because you will treat him like a king. he will look at you and tell you that, that is what he wants but was not able to say so. then he will leave her and be with you
2007-02-28 18:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being played here--do not get yourself involved with this guy any more than you have already. They are both married--let THEM sort their problems out before YOU do something stupid...like be "the other woman".
2007-02-28 19:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you know what goes on behind closed doors? He's feeding you a load of crap. He's someone elses guy, leave him alone.
2007-02-28 20:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by chickadee 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if its all that bad why is he still with and married to her?...how do you know whats going on in their marriage? i suggest you back off and let him make up his own mind
2007-03-02 03:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by Just passing the time! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Us men will say/do ANYTHING to get in the girls knickers...
he wants you for one thing... and when you say no, he will move on to the next, meet his wife for coffee and find out!!
2007-02-28 20:43:19 · answer #10 · answered by paulrb8 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋