she doesn't want sex before marriage ?!?

Question

We've been together for 3 months and we like each other a lot. She loves kissing passionately for a long time and we both get stimulated with that... but she rejects any touch on her private places and strongly believes on having sex after marriage. I am 28 and she is 26. We are from different countries and we don't want to marry together. Honestly, I like to sleep with her and without that I feel our relation is not deep.

Is she serious on remaining virgin until marriage or I should try more? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Give up you are a mismatch,you got to try the goods before you buy.

Answer 2

First off. Be willing to accept that you're not going to have sex with this woman. When she refuses you, do NOT get mad or show any dissappointment. Best thing to do is appologize, tell her its getting late, and offer to take her home.

On the other hand. If you can give her an orgasm without penetrating her, she's going to want it, bad. But be prepared, you're opening a messy closet full of regressed emotion and guilt that is going to crash and pile on top of you, hard, and without any warning.

This whole 'virgin' tradition is a pretty sad way men have bent religion to enforce power over women. It should never be wasted on someone you don't love and see marriage potential in, but since a lot of idiots marry just so they can have sex, its a very important way to test if you can live with a girl for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

I am in question as to where this relationship is going? She does not want marriage as you are from different Countries? Then why does she resist and still stay with the relationship. It is a bust, because you want sex and she does not, yet you say you cannot marry? I agree with you on that you should not marry as she has committed to being chaste until marriage, apparently. It must mean she has deeper commitments to right and wrong and you do not see it that way. So no marriage, with her, means no intimacy. She should look for another who she can marry and she is right on the money with her choices, except not terminating this one! Simple, isn't it?

Answer 4

You state that she"strongly believes on having sex after marriage" and that tells me that you know she is serious on remaining a virgin until marriaage and you should respect that and should leave her alone if all you are interested in is a lay.I do not understand why you would pursue this with someone who has this belief when there are plenty of women who do not have this belief and would not give you any conflict over this.Why would YOU want to lead this woman into SIN----there is a judgement waiting for all us and how will you justify your actions. You should repsect your fellowmen and their beliefs and not try harder to have them lose their values.

Answer 5

It sounds like she is believes in her religion very deeply, if she wants to wait until marriage for sex. She obviously wants to wait until she is married, because then she will know in her mind, that is with the one person she wants to be with. You have already stated that you two don't want to marry each other, and if she is waiting for marriage, then you will have to get married to go any further.

As for you saying you don't feel the relationship is deep enough without sex, that is stating that you only want sex. So what happens after you have sex with her, then you move onto the next girl. You have to realize that in her mind, that is what she is thinking. You will have sex, and then you will dump her, maybe not right away, but probably in a couple of months.

As for suggestions on coaxing her into more, try and educate her more on sex, and other forms of sex. There is always oral and anal, and you could always try and coax her into that, which might eventually lead her to sex.

In the end though, you might have to marry her, to have her. And that would be the right thing to do. Me personally, I am against sex before marriage, because what I have seen is nothing but irresponsible men sleeping with women, and not taking responsibility for their actions when they get them pregnant.

Yes, I did wait before I getting married, and had sex after marriage. But I did try other things with my wife before marriage, because we both have needs, but in our eyes, it was still waiting before marriage.

Answer 6

She sounds serious from your description. If you are not looking for a relationship that leads to marriage or if she is simply someone you wish to have fun with and not marry, you need to move on. There is no advantage in remaining in a relationship where your expectations are not met.

Answer 7

I used to feel the way she did, trust me DO NOT push her into it! She would most likely end up feeling resentful if you really pushed her at a moment of weakness. Why don't you respect that? Like if you had sex with her and didn't like it you would leave her? If you did that she would most likely be devestated she didn't stick to her morals. Why does it have to be that important to her if you want to marry her what is having sex with her RIGHT NOW going to change? You may say if you love me you would do it, but if you truly loved her, you would Respect her and wait!

Answer 8

What is the matter with you. Can't you take no for an answer. There are still a lot of women, regardless of race, that believe the sex should be reserved for marriage.

Answer 9

I don't think this girl will budge. She waited this long, and she will survive without the sex for another couple of years. But why are you with her if you don't see a future with her? Stop wasting both of your time, and move on.

Answer 10

U don't want to marry together then why pressure her for sex? If she doesn't want it let her be. sex is part of marriage not part of boy/girl relationship.