Or am I being too insensitive? Whenever I talk about anyone in my husband's family he always immediately stands up for them and says I'm wrong or that he doesn't like me talking like that. But when he talks about my family I usually agree with him, because it's usually true. But what I'm saying about his family is true too. Does he have too much family pride or do I not have enough? It's hard for me to understand his family because we were raised differently. Like when his dad or brothers are careless and they ruin our stuff, I get upset and say his family was never taught to be respectful of other's things. Or when his mom goes off about how much she appreciates and loes me, I say she's being fake. He gets mad and acts like I did something horrible. Shouldn't he let go of his family and make his family with me and our children (we've been married almost 5 years)? I just don't get his family pride. I do realize that sometimes I am being a brat, and I'll admit I'm wrong.
2007-02-28 14:03:17 · 6 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I sure can relate to your story!!! If I ever say anything about his family - other than they are perfect and they never take advantage of him -- he gets offended and stands up for them, or he won't talk at all, or he will count the faults in my family. I know the faults in my family and I accept them ... that's ok. He wants to believe that his family is good, although I'm sure that he also knows their faults. Maybe he feels that it's a comparison ... who's family is better. He cannot let go of his family, and neither should you. Family is an important, though sometimes irritating, part of who we are. He does need to realize that his first family is you and him, and that needs to come first and foremost!
2007-02-28 18:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he isjust proud of where he came from. The last thing that someone wants to hear that is proud of their family is someone putting it down. Wether it be his wife or not. Just know that he loves he family but their are times when he needs to realize they are not perfect. But after five years I dont think that will change. Just know that he feels very strongly and I am sure in the furture when it comes to someone talking about you or your kids he will probably be just as proud and stubborn. So in a way in the end it could benifit you.
2007-02-28 22:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by caligirlatheart10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dad always took up for his family, no matter how they treated us kids or my mom. It caused so many fights at our house that i begged them to get divorced.There is nothing wrong with being proud of your family, but there is a problem when your husband does it at the expense of his wife and kids.I hope you come out better than my parents did.
2007-02-28 22:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by dynamite136 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should be a man and stick up for his own family - which means the wife he made vows to, not his mother!! However, I wouldn't put down his Mom for "loving" you even if it seems fake, she just may not know how to express it more appropriately.
2007-02-28 22:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by dottidal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actually, YOU are your husband's family now, and if he is not on your side in all things, then you won't be married for long. Five years is more than enough time for him to wrap his head around this concept...he may not ever get it, but I hope for your sake that he does.
2007-02-28 22:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when a man marries his wife and kids should come first and for most above anything or anyone it should be u he's taking up for and not them
2007-02-28 22:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by Robert C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋