We've been together for 2 yrs and have lived together for over 1.5 yrs. He is 29, had other serious relationships, I am 20, it is my first. He says he loves me and I belive him, but I want him to tell me that he will love me always and that this love is not just "of the moment". Its not like I want to get married now or even in a year or two, I just want to know that he wants to marry me some day, and have kids together. We talk about the future like we'll be together, but when ever I question him as to if he wants to always be with me, he gets very angry at me for bringing up the issue, and will not discuss it openly. He keeps saying he is "not sure" or that he "doesnt know", he cant even tell me why he is unsure. How long does it take to become sure of oneself, and at this stage does it seem that he ever will? Two years seems a lot to me if it does not seem to be going anywhere.
2007-02-28 14:00:54 · 7 answers · asked by ophierose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you know anything about his past relationships? Sounds like he may have some things in his past holding him back? Or it could be the age difference? There is a big difference when only one person has been over the age of 21. You need to discuss this with him in a way that he doesn't feel pressured to answer you directly on the marriage/kids deal. If you don't know about the past relationships you may want to see what you can find out there. Unfortunately, the past tends to stay in our minds even though we know we are supposed to start fresh with someone new. Maybe someone broke his heart and he is afraid to try to make the commitment right now. Try to dig in a little deeper and let up with the marriage questions for a little while and try to find out where the issues lie.
2007-02-28 14:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are so young!! Don't waste your pretty on some guy that won't even show you the respect to let you know that you will be married one day even if it won't be next week. Men are idiots and I hate to see you end up with someone like this. He should already know if you are the one for him. Men are always afraid that tomorrow Jennifer Aniston will walk through the door and want him, oblivious!!
I am 40 and I would not recommend settling down with someone until you are at least 30. Think about it this way, you are 20, you will probably live until you are at least 85, do you want to be with this guy for 65 years?? Really?? You don't really know who you are yet (believe me, you don't), how can you really know if this is the right guy for you, especially when he treats you like such a child and won't even discuss it with you rationally.
Don't waste any more time with this guy, you will regret it in the end.
2007-02-28 22:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by edie t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are quite a number of guys that flip out when you head in that subject. Just go along and enjoy the relationship and see what happens. If he wants to get married you'll most likely know... and it might have something to do with his past relationships.
2007-02-28 22:09:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sagira Tadashi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
two years is abit still too early as i always think 3-4 years is the best!... not denying that thoughts plays a part before reality present. Ur bf or i shld say, most of the man not afraid of comittment. Rather, they afraid to loss their so called "freedom" still remember my boss and vendor also remind me "dont get marry too early, see our face written a word? "REGRET" omgomg.. i nearly passed out!
2007-02-28 22:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by Its me! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he's had plenty of time to make up his mind. If he's mature enough, he should definitely be ready for commitment. If not, you really should consider moving out. Let him have some time to himself. It will also give you time to think about the relationship. You've waited long enough.
2007-02-28 22:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by Suzie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would think after two years if he doesnt know he will never know that in itself is ur answer and i think it sounds like ur just wasting ur time with him if u want to find that special person to spend the rest of ur life with it would be a great idea to leave him and start looking i dont think he sounds like the one and from what u've said i dont think u do either
2007-02-28 22:06:17 · answer #6 · answered by Robert C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im a gal ....but im in the same situation as ure bf ,,, , my bf keep talking abt marriage n stuff like u did ...but i told him im not very sure of that myself either ....we have been together for 4 yrs ...
Urm ..i donno why im reactin this way ..maybe its because of commitment phobia ...i think marriage is something impt ..n i wont want to bring hopes high up with another person if i dont truely intent them to be my husband i guess ( im not saying that i DOnt ever want to marry them ..just not sure if i will thats all )....n its not as if i want to get marry the next day or so ...so why bother to get all vexed up abt that topic ....
Hope this help ..gd luck ...
2007-02-28 22:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by Cassie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋