Can anyone give me ideas on getting my three year old boy to listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

My son is literally driving me crazy!!! No matter what boundry I set he crosses it, usually with a grin. I have tried time out and everything. He is majorly defiant. Refuses to eat, insists on touching stove, very mean to his baby sister, very very greedy. I am trying to keep my cool and properly discipline at the same time...

Answer 1

Suggestions:
1. Talk softly: whisper. It will force him to listen. Be sure to whisper things like: Let's eat or Let's go to the park as much as Sit here and play quietly.

2. Give him choices.
You're a big boy. Since you're a big boy, I'm going to give you choices, just as mommy gets to make choices.
You may sit here and play with this toy or you may sit there and play with that toy. You choose.

The above activities will channel some of his energy. It will make him think some.

Last suggestion:
Rudolf Driekers talked about the four goals of misbehavior.
1. The child wants attention. How do we know? We feel annoyed.
2. The child wants power or control. How do we know? We feel angry.
3. The child wants revenge. How do we know? We feel hurt.
4. The child wants to withdraw. How do we know? We want to give up.


What to do?

1. If the child wants ATTENTION, look for ways to give him attention for what is appropriate behavior.

2. If the child wants POWER or CONTROL, then give the child choices. That helps him meet his goal, but the choices are yours, so you know he's safe.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

It seems to me that your son needs a bit more attention than you are able to give him right now. Just love him dear heart!... And please try not to yell at him. All he needs is love and attention. Perhaps your attention has diverted to your younger daughter lately and he might feel left out of the equasion. I do not mean to judge or criticize you but think about it and you will see that he is testing your limit to what he can do in order for you to pay more attention to him. Perhaps it would be a good idea if someone could come and help you bring a bit of diversion from this situation... You seem at the end of your patience... ( by the last line !!!!!!!!!!!?) Your nerves are in a bad shape. You need a rest and if you can, I would suggest to take your son and go visit your mother or your sister or a friend, just the two of you)... Ask someone you trust to look after your daughter for a little while until he has calmed down.

By so many exclamation marks, I gather that you probably yell at him. If possible dear heart; instead of this, try to hold him in your arms and tell him you love him... Nothing else! Just do it like a mantra! And he will calm down...With time he will grow out of it!

( I have a younger sister, not a year of difference, so I know about some of these feelings ).

Peace and love to you and your family.

Answer 3

this is why parents should start discipline at younger ages. As soon as they can touch something wrong, or be active, IE crawling etc. Teach them to listen to you, and be stern without being mean. They will then naturally listen when they are older.


If you did that and he is still not listening, or even if you didn't and this is a problem that is getting worse. Show him you are serious. Take away toys , tv , games etc. My son did this even though I had tought him from the beginning. He sat in the chair, facing the wall , time began at three minutes there and finally one day he was there for two hours. He could not talk or play or move very much at all. He eventually started listening to me again

Answer 4

It appears that he doesnt have a listening problem he has an authority problem. He needs to get the idea that you mean what you say. You have to be consistent and start using a little "psychology" on this kid. My daughter was stubborn and many times would "fight" whatever I wanted her to do but I used humor and experience to outwit her. I'll give you an example, she pitched a royal hissy fit in K'Mart one day. Threw her body on the floor and screamed and cried. I looked at her and said that looks like fun! threw my body down next to her and screamed and cried and kicked my feet. SHe got up and was so embarrassed that she clinched her little teeth and said "get up and stop that" - I looked at her and said I thought we were pitching fits? - she said no we're done. After that if she started to act up all I had to say was "oh, are we going to pitch fits? and she would say "no, nobody is going to pitch a fit" she never did again. You are the parent and you have to take charge, discipline does not mean hitting it means consistent logical consequences for your childs actions. They need to learn that the world is a huge puzzle and that they are only one piece of that puzzle. About the time my daughter hit 8 or 9 she said to me - "why dont you just spank me like a regular parent instead of always talking to me- I'm sick of being talked to"-lol. Don't let him win - keep your cool and you can get control. good luck. Kathy

Answer 5

I believe in trying to talk to him and be firm. If he is truly defiant and will not abide by your authority, then you swat him on his bottom. You have to make him realise that you are his disciplinarian because believe me, if he doesn't get it now, he will seriously walk all over you when he gets older. My family is having a problem right now with my 20 year old brother who is out of control, doesn't listen, treats my mother like complete and utter crap and basically does not have any desire to do anything with himself - he is a true nightmare. And it all goes back to the fact that my mother did not discipline him properly as a child. I saw it coming years ago and it sounds like your little boy is starting to go down that path. Please believe me, it may break your heart to have him cry when you swat him, but in the long run it is better for HIM to learn to listen.

Answer 6

Hes 3 years old... While learning hes an individual hes also learning about limits and pushing them.
Be firm, respond to good behavior more then the bad.
If he must be placed in timeout place him there and tell him how long he needs to stay... 3 minutes.
When you come back let him know why he was there.
Every chance you get to tell him how good hes doing... do it. Even little stuff like putting his plate in the sink or throwing away a piece of trash.
If you provide more positive attention he will thrive on it and try harder to be good.

With my first daughter I have to watch myself also... sometimes I expect more then she really can handle or understand. We lose insight of what our children can and can not do. It becomes and expectation. So please if its really a challenge take a step back and reexamine what your asking of this little person who can not think like we can.

Good luck

Answer 7

Defiance is unacceptable. Immaturity is part of a child growing up. That difference is very important. Defiance must be met with firmness. The stakes must increase if he is resistant to what you do now. You must win this struggle, without failing to show love to him as well. I know that this is controversial, but I do favor spanking at this age to show that you mean business. The proper context, of course, is to give this spanking after a clear explanation of what was unacceptable and then a loving exchange afterwards, as opposed to hitting in anger.

Answer 8

Watch Super Nanny. This show will give you lots of ideas! Be persistent, if he does something bad put him in the naughty corner. He will not like being in there. The first few days will be hard but keep at it. Also, Is he in preschool? That helped my son calm down a lot!!! Good Luck and it will get better with age!

Answer 9

Sit down, at eye level (or squat down) softly hold his/her face in your hands and speak softly what you want to say and if need be, help the child to repeat it back to you. This works on children and softly speaking to teens and adults and eye contact can make all the diffrence. I am a mom of 7 children ages 3-15 and I KNOW this works. Also, you WILL be doing this for the rest of your life...lol...type in the soft spoken parent into your search engine and it will take you to several sites to help...good luck :)

Answer 10

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