I just need some help?

Question

ok im about 17 and have gone through soo much crap in my life its not even funny! I used to cut and had stoped last year after i had finaly told my family. But the other day i just couldnt take it anymore soo i cut. I want to tell my mom but i no she will just yell at me! My mother boyfriend runs her life and all us kids as well. I hate him soo much and want to to just go away! He is about 20 years older then my mom and b/c he has money thinks he can just tell us what to do. My mom is just "soo in love" with him that she doent care about us kids! Yesterday i came home from a long day at school and just wanted to sleep but he started yelling at me about somthing i didnt clean right and my mom just sat there and didnt say anything. I cant do it anymore and dont no what to do. He doent do anything around the house and neather does my mom. Its all me and my 2 brothers.plz help and plz dont be mean about my cutting you really dont no the whole story! THANKS

There is no one i can really talk to.... i did that last year and went to see somone after i told my mom but she stoped that b/c she does not care. I also just moved soo i dont have any of my Real friends

My mother does not work or do anything after we moved they both just sit around all day. and its not like i treat my mother bad now or in the past, back home in NY we lived with my grandmother and she was never home soo is not like its a new thing

My mother does not work or do anything after we moved they both just sit around all day. and its not like i treat my mother bad now or in the past, back home in NY we lived with my grandmother and she was never home soo is not like its a new thing

Answer 1

Hello ..Miss 17 ..No one should be here to judge you , just try to help a little . You are living in a situation that you have little control over and so you cut to give you something . There isn't much you can do about your homelife and unfortunatley not all mom's put their children first . So I can only tell you that you have to stick it out and not let him or anyone win . Perhaps go to the library a lot..say it is school work ..it cost nothing and may give you some peace.......Soon you will be 18 and then can move out ....for me that meant joining the army...the best thing I ever did ..Yes it was hard, very hard at first but it gave me independence and self respect .. If you pick something like photography ..the military schooling is very long ..used to be like 18 months... you will learn a trade and not go into combat ..I know this might sound crazy but without a place to go or money ..Not too many options.. I completed three years college while I as in ...but as I say check which professions have the longest schooling..you will serve most of your time in school ..you will make friends..you will become strong..and be able to take care of yourself ...Just an idea...

Answer 2

Hi Lissa,

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Here's the deal--you can't make people live up to your expectations. You want a better mom-- but that's not happening. There's nothing you can do to make her change. The only thing you can control is yourself. You need to love YOURSELF. Please stop cutting yourself!! Take care of yourself like you are the most valuable person you know!!! Your time at home is coming to an end. I think you should start looking for a surrogate family that can support you emotionally. Perhaps there is a good church close
by. Get involved with the youth group, read the Bible and get to know God. He loves you so much!
God Bless You!

Answer 3

I'm sorry if I don't show you the compassion you are looking for in these answers.
So what do you want your life to be like then?
You want your mother to be alone, with no money or any companionship, so she can cater to your every little need?

You don't want to be assigned any chores around the house.

Your mom should have to do all the cleaning after she gets home from working all day.

You want to be able to just go to school and then come home and sleep without anyone bothering you to do any chores and do them right.

And when things bother you you want to be able to take a knife and cut yourself without anyone saying anything.
You are 17 years old.
What happens when you are out in the world on your own?
You going to work?
You going to clean your house?
You going to cut everytime something bothers you?
Maybe you should take a step back and take a look at the big picture.
I get the feeling your mother wants this guy to try and tell you what to do because you quit listening to her a long time ago.
You say she doesn't care about you kids, but all I hear is everything is all about you, and all you have been through.
I see nothing about what you put your mother through or any of her feelings about conditions in your house.
I don't see anything about how your brothers feel.
I think you will find life more enjoyable and less stressful when you start working with your mother and her bf instead of against them.
While my kids were teens my wife and I didn't do anything around the house either.
If they wanted money from us, they could do chores to earn it.

Answer 4

Hi. my mom did the same thing with me and 6 other of my siblings, yep sad but true at first she left us and never came back well I think like 10 years later with some man she married I swear that my mom never liked us kids and the man that she was married to dam was he ever mean and yeah it was like my mom never gave a flying **** just about the man in her life, so I hear ya on that one there. Hey just try to be strong through all this, I know that it's tuff but you have a future ahead of you and you don't have to live at home forever so just try your best to cope. Try not to miss too much of school either hey there could be some really cool people there you could meet and hang out with. I know that you just moved but give it a chance and please don't give up on yourself or your education.

Keep your head up, things will get better!

Answer 5

you really need to talk to your mom or someone that will listen to you. you and your mom needs to work things out. she needs to realize your feelings and find out why you are cutting yourself. she should care enough to believe you and listen to you and help you. if she cant then maybe you should find someone else to live with until you are 18. get some help in counseling or anything but just don't cut yourself. I'm sorry to hear about all your problems but just know that things can always get better.

Answer 6

Cutting is a very serious issue. It sounds like your situation at home is very stressful. You deserve to have someone help you and listen to you. Try again to talk to your mother. If she is not receptive, talk to a counselor at school or to someone who could get her more involved. You should be able to be comfortable in your own house. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

You need to find someone you can talk with, Maybe a counselor at school or they could at least point you somewhere but do find someone. I feel for you girl...