Best Blonde joke you've got?

Question

here's mine :

#1:
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

what's yours?

Answer 1

BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"

WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."

BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."

Answer 2

there was a blond and a brunnett (they were sisters) they were filthy rich bu then lost all their money.

thet were only allowed to keep a cow and $600

the brunnette got an idea. she told the blond they should by a bull to mate the cow. they were extremely happy. next the brunnette said she will call the blond after she buys the bull to bring the neighbors pick up to get the bull and her.

the brunnette takes a train to the farmers and looks for the bull. the farmers sold the bull for $599. the brunnette took out her cell phone to call the blond, but the battery died.

the brunnette goes walking around the town and finds a telagram station. she goes in side.

the guy who is incarge of sending the messages says it $1 per word. she tells the man the story of what happened. with only i dollar left she thinks very hard. after awhile she says the word comfortable. the guy is supriesied and asks her why comfterble and asks how will her sister understand. the brunnette answers "she is a blond so she will read it nice and slow" so she pronounced come for the bull.(comfterble)

the blond got the message a rode straight to get her sister and the bull.

Answer 3

( starts same as other joke but way better and more original)

There was a blonda, a brunett, and a red-head trapped on an island. The genie says " i will grant you 3 wishes" so they split up the wishes so they each get one. The genie says they can wish for anything BUT to get off the island. The brunette gets a bottle of water for when she is thirsty she can drink it. The red-head wishes for a fan so she can cool her self off. The blonde wishes for a car door.

After an awkward silence the brunett and red-head go up to the blonde and say " why did you wish for a car door?' and the blonde answers "so when it gets hot i can just roll down the window"

Answer 4

There is a blonde, a brunett, and a redhead. They are all running from the police, and they go into a warehouse. There are three bags in the warehouse, one with cats, one with dogs, and one with potatoes. The brunett jumps into the one with cats, the redhead jumps in the one with dogs, and the blonde jumps into the bag of potatoes. The cops come and they hear a noise, so they kick the first bag. All they hear is meow meow so they figure that there are only cats in there. Then they kick the second bag and all they hear is arf arf so they figure that there are only dogs in there. They kick the third bag and the blonde goes, "POTATOE!"

Answer 5

i like this one:


a blonde wanted to raise some money so she decided to ask this guy if she could do something. he said yeah you could paint the porch. so the blonde is like ok, for 50 dollars. then the guy is like ok. while she goes to get the paint the guy's wife is like does she know our porch goes around our whole house. the guy is like yeah well it was a blonde. so after like an hour or so she is done. she goes to the guy and says i am done. they guy was surprised because that was quick. then as she collected the money she said to the guy, that is not a porsche thats a lexus.


I LOVE THAT ONE. U KNOW THE BLONDE THOUGHT THAT HE MEANT THE CAR.

Answer 6

So there's a blonde driving down the street and sees another blonde in a FiELD rowing a boat. The other blonde, infuriated, stops and gets out of her car and shouts to the other blonde, "ITS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME...and if I COULD SWIM, I WOULD COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ***". Ha.

Answer 7

there was a blondie, a brunette, and a red head stuck on an island. A genie came and said i will grant you one wish. You can wish you were anywere to get you off the island. The brunette says " I wish i was on a cruise" and poof! She was gone. The brunette says i wish i was in New York and poof! She was gone to. Finally, it was the blondie's turn. She said "I wish I had my friends back."

Answer 8

Whats dumber than three blondes trying to build a house underwater?


Three blondes trying to burn it down.

Answer 9

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"


*this one is one of my favorites* hope u think its funny! :)

Answer 10

ok, check this out.
The blonde goes to the doctor at states that she has this pain all over her body. The doctor asked, all over your body? She says yes, when i touch my leg, it hurts, When I touch my head it hurts, when I touch my knee it hurts, when I touch my arm, it hurts. What do you think is causing me all this pain? The doctor ponders for a moment and then makes his decision.....................


It appears that your finger is broke.