I love my boyfriend to death but he is so insecure, if we have a little fight he thinks im going to leave him and gets so sad. He thinks im goign to leave him for another guy because in his opinion I am way to pretty for him. I've tried so hard to get him to know how much I love him and that I don't want to leave him, but he is still really afraid. I always tell him taht he is the onyl one I want to be with... How can I get him to feel safer with our relationship?
2007-02-28 11:53:13 · 15 answers · asked by lovepixiek 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he has low self esteem issue. You need to help him to improve his self esteem. Good luck ;)
2007-02-28 11:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by C L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very lucky to have a guy that loves you so much.
But sounds like he is very vulnarable when it comes to his self confidence in your relationship.
I suggest you do things that are very bonding.
A couple of suggestions.
Get you picture taken together. Not in one of those picture booths, but a portrait, it can be from Wal mart or where ever, it doesnt have to be expensive, but having a professional picture of you two together for him to look at could help him. Maybe a caption on it saying somthing about him being your only one.
Or one of those sets of neclaces with one half of a heart on one and the other half on the other. Each of you wear one and you stress to him the feelings you have that go with the neclace, so whenever he doubts himself, he can look at it and know you are wearing the other half of his heart.
Get away for a couple days, just you and him together, no one else. If you and he are alone for a weekend by yourself, you can talk about your relationship and you can assure him there is nowhere else you would rather be or no one else you would rather be with. No where fancy or expensive, just somewhere private.
It would be so powerful to him.
2007-02-28 20:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't he is insecure and immature. It would probably be a good idea to break up with him because he is not ready for a relationship. You can't keep carrying the relationship on your shoulders. That's why God gave him broad shoulders. If you love him tell him that's why you need to break up with him so that he can learn some responsibility and learn how lead instead of manipulate you.
2007-02-28 20:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by betrue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a very similar situation as your boyfriend at one time. The girl was an attractive girl and I was often worried about her cheating on me or leaving. Our relationship eventually ended and she was quick to sleep with other people while I remained depressed for a couple of years. There is no cure on your end as she pleaded with me telling me she liked just me, on several occassions. Your boyfriend sounds like a miserable man like me who will always have that skepticism with women, and only himself and time are going to solve it....if it does.....as you can tell by my demeanor I'm not entirely cured myself but I at least recognize it is a potential problem if I am going to have anymore long term relationships in my life.
2007-02-28 20:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by brewbeer212 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done just about everything you can do, if he continues, his paranoia will make his prophecy self-fulfilling.
I would take his hand, tell him what you've said to all of us, but add that it will cause you to leave him because it hurts you that you won't believe him. Tell him that beauty is only so deep, when you get to know someone it's that certain spark they have that makes people REALLY fall for the other person . . . I know it's killing him inside to feel this way, but he really needs to cease or he risks losing you forever . . .
good luck to both of you.
2007-02-28 19:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are in the exact situation, only in reverse. My girlfriend is so paranoid when she sees me talking or looking at women and she has that same fear that I will leave her for someone else, even if I love her so much & I am constantly saying & letting her feel it. As for your boyfriend, just sit down & talk about it. Tell him what you feel and how his insecurity is very unecessary. Explain to him that you are not a superficial person who will leave him for someone else just on the account of their looks. If he still succumbs to his paranoia/insecurity... just keep on re-assuring him. Goodluck!
2007-02-28 20:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by benildean_blazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first slap him to get his attention look him dead in the eyes and tell him to grow a pair and tell him. im dating you for a reason.........list the reasons.....then tell him why you wouldnt leave him. Tell him if he keeps this depressed bs up every time there is a little fight that you will because he should know relationships healthy ones have tid bit fights.
2007-02-28 19:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by Metalup87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow this is a tough one, cuz i know how he feels my girl is a model.....wow, i guess the best u can do is show that ur comfortable around him and show him that ur here to stay, and that U OWN HIM AND IT AINT GONNA CHANGE, show ur love, im still waitin for ma girl to do that to me
2007-02-28 20:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. The insecurity doesn't help the situation more.
2007-02-28 19:58:01 · answer #9 · answered by Je vous aime. ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple way
avoid dumb fights
try not to get into arguements
tell him u love him evrynite by txt or call but dont go to far on alll this
2007-02-28 20:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by combs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋