i'm not allowed to hang out with boys, im a muslim girl...im 16...i went to sweet sixteen and my mom found a picture of me with a guys arm around me at a sweet sixteen and its a huge deal in my family right now my mom keeps telling me how im going to hell and hanging with the wrong muslims and blahblah all this ****. i dont know what to do. someone please help me.
2007-02-28 11:06:39 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
sometimes all there little rules according to my religion and culture make me want to comit suicide becauase its so hard for me to take.
2007-02-28 11:20:28 · update #1
May the peace, blessings and mercy of God be upon you
I am 18 year old Muslim brother,
Sister you have to realize most boys are bad, and have bad intentions with good girls such as yourself. You should try your best to only have good friends, that have strong values, and are not doing bad things. I know its hard I know your a teen, but remember that Allah is always watching you.
When was the last time you prayed or read Qu'ran? You know you will have to answer to him on the Day of Judgment.
Peace Be With You
2007-02-28 11:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I can tell you she is just trying to do her best. I know that it sucks but on the flip side you only have two years left. When you are a little older you will see what it is that she was so scared about. Its not that the boy took his pic. with you. But what it can lead to. "Sex" Most boys at the age of 16 are well not always the best of people to hang out with. You need to talk to her more. If you would be sharing things with her maybe she would see that she is raising a smart young lady. Keep in mind she loves you and is only trying to look out for you. I think parents some times forget that our kids grow up and need a little room to make there own mistakes. She let you go to the party so she must have had trusted you. Just let her know why it was you took the pic. What you were thinking at that time. Even if it was nothing at all. Try to make her see where you were in your mind at that time.It doesn't always have to be any more then what it is..
Again you only have two years left....
2007-02-28 11:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you are stuck until you are 18. Assuming you're in the USA or a Western or otherwise relatively free country, when you are 18, you can move out and establish you own life.
Until then, you are stuck under the authority of your parents. Make the most of it. It's natural for a teenage girl to think about boys, but there's much more to life than that. Concentrate on your studies. Think about what you want to do for a career, or where you want to go to college. Go out with your female friends. Don't sneak around.
It would help if you have a sympathetic person, particularly a sympathetic adult person, to talk to--a teacher, a school counselor, an aunt or older cousin or sister, a more liberal-minded cleric or member of your mosque or another mosque. You can also talk to God/Allah. He's a lot more loving and understanding than many people think. Talk to him in private, in your room.
Use the Internet to do some research on sects of Islam that are not so strict or condemning. Or, if you find yourself attracted to another faith, study that. Pray while you study; take what you've read and discovered before God.
I'm a Christian, and I believe in Jesus as the Messiah, and I recommend him to you. However, I also believe that God has an individual path for each person, and you must walk your own path before you. Your parents can guide you up to a point, but they cannot chose this path for you (even if they think they can), and they certainly can't walk it for you. Ultimately, it's your life, and God owns it, not your parents. You manage your life. You are your life's manager, with God as owner.
God bless you much in your journey. I'll pray for you. Peace.
Lord, please protect this girl and her freedom. Please don't let her seek out a false freedom, and don't let anyone put chains upon her. Take her on a path now that, a few years from now, will lead to a life where she is free to follow you truly. In your holy name, Jesus. Amen.
2007-02-28 11:22:27 · answer #3 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad. My parents didn't let me date until I was 17, and even then my parents checked their ID's, car insurance paperwork, and the whole nine yards. They probably ran them through a background check, too. But here's the thing, while you're living at home and are under your parents' roof, you don't really have much of a choice but to live by your parents' rules. I know it's hard and it stinks, but just remember that your parents are only setting these types of rules because they love you. They don't want you to accidently get pregnant or raped or later feel bad or guilty about yourself if you do get involved with a boy. Now - I'm not saying the opposite sex is evil and personally I see nothing wrong with a girl having male friends or being attracted to boys. I'm just saying you may have to wait until you're of age and out of the house before you can be free of strict religious-based rules.
2007-02-28 11:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Islam allows mixing of both genders
just not to extremes..such as a boy and girl being alone because it can lead to other things that are forbidden in Islam (such as sex).
there is a saying "Islam shuts the door before the wind blows it open".
And you wont go to hell..no one is allowed to make that judgment except God..even your family cant. Just pray to God for strength and help and Insha Allah everything will be fine.
so just talk with your family calmly and rationally and i hope everything turns out fine sister.
God bless you and your family
2007-02-28 11:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
assalaamo laikum habibty...
under the faith you know the rules. are you interested in marriage. you are of the age. i had a friend named ameerah (same name as me lol) any way she was interested in sex and wanted to talk to boys so instead she got married and aaysha her mother okayed it. try to talk to ummic and see what she would think of it. my baba was like that too n umm also. but i'm happily married and my husband is from masrwy(egypt) i'm 20 though and there inlays a difference. but marriage was the best for me because it brought me closer to Allah, Alhumdullia- and i don't have to worry about the haraam that shayton temped me with. i understand how you feel. on top of being a young woman. i was once there. inshAllah speak with ummic and rabena maak assalaamo laikum wa rahmatuAllah wa baraketu.may Allah guide you habibty_Allahu a3lam
2007-02-28 11:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by baba where art thou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur mother is right and wrong also
she is right in telling u that u mustn't go out with boys..as that is against islam
but only God knows if u are going to hell or heaven
may Allah bless u
2007-02-28 11:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by *Muslimah* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am honestly sorry for you. It is hard for me to criticize your religion, but as you grow old you'll be able to discover its numerous drawbacks and harshness. If you lived in Islamic countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia and the rest of them, you would not feel so acutely woman's inferior role in society, your problem is that you live in a democratic country and Islam's prehistoric guidelines to life promptly rise to your awareness. Good luck to any choice you make!
2007-02-28 11:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This boy is also Muslim ?
Watch out for boys, they are very selfish at this age.
They always want more!
If you let a guy put his arm around you, he'll want to kiss you.
If you let his kiss he'll bug you for other stuff.
They're never satified & they'll get you into trouble, if you let them!
My advice is don't give them anything, enjoy your innocence, you've got your whole life ahead of you.
2007-02-28 11:10:45 · answer #9 · answered by lilith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey , im a teenage muslim girl and i sooooooooooo get what you mean , the smallest of things like talking to a guy and your mom flips right ? i guess you should just be more aware with what your mom says , it might sound like im talking a loada crap but i have the same problem aswell and i try to resolve it by respecting my mum but talking to who ever i want as long as you dont go soooooooooooooo far with a guy and youll be fine , all your mum wants to do is protect but i guess its more like overprotection , x
2007-03-02 04:59:53 · answer #10 · answered by ayza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋