well my gf and i are both 18, and i've had sex within the last year, with my ex-gf. i knew that my current gf had a bf (who turned out to be a druggie who dropped out of high school this year) and they were together for about a year and half. i kinda assumed they'd done stuff, but never really knew. to my knowledge, my gf doesn't know that i've done stuff before either.
yesterday, i found out from a friend that she had gone all the way with her last bf. this greatly saddens me and makes me feel uneasy about everything...don't know why, but it does. i mean, it shouldn't, because i've had sex before too, but i don't want to think of her as having done that.
i know i'm being hypocritical, but is it normal to be sad/angry that she's done that with her ex while i've done it with my ex too? how should i handle it with her?
i know i'm pretty much making a big deal outta nothing, but it still bothers me a lot and i don't know why.
2007-02-28 11:00:05 · 35 answers · asked by mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
forget those idiots who say "dump her". this is something your going to have to get over. and yes, this does make you a hypocrite. do you want EVERY girl your going to be with to be a virgin? do you like this girl? that's the question. if she had had sex with her BF yesterday, you could have a point. but come on. you like her, you want to be with her. don't even think about it.
2007-02-28 11:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by Always Question 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way you worded that sounds like you guys both cheated on each other. I don't think that's what you mean though. I thin kyou are saying that you and your girlfriend were not virgins when you started dating.
Going from that, yes, you are making too big a deal out of it. It's not something that needs to be handled. I wouldn't ever bring it up to her because she will resent you for it and it would not be fair of you.
She is with you now. Concentrate on that. So what if she's done stuff before? Leaving her because of that would just be ridiculous. Even being upset about it is pretty lame.
My advice is to forget about it. If you want to stay with her, forget about it.
2007-02-28 11:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by Matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she did before she knew you is really none of your business! The friend(?) that told you is questionable. Who told him? How did this get out?
You are setting a double standard, those days are over! You only need to know what she is doing now & nothing more. Same goes for her!
Get over it, especially since you have no real clue if it is true or not! Don't make the mistake of asking her because she could ask you the same question! That could end a good thing!
2007-02-28 11:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by geegee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey...she's no tramp or whore! Whatever mistake she made while in another relationship....she was in love..... and in no moment should you go judging her! Yes...you might feel a little bad...angry even...but she is YOUR girlfriend now and whatever relationship she had before should be irrelevant to you now! Like you say...you are making a big deal about it if you cannot deal with it on your own. Maybe you can feel better if you talk to her about it. It shouldn't matter to you anymore because what is in the past should stay in the past....but closure is not a bad idea either. If you love her....get over it...after all....you have made bad choices and mistakes too...haven't you? How about your ex.....I am sure you cared about her...what if another guy was making a big deal to her because she slept with you....would you feel bad for her? Life has already gotten to a point where who slept with who is not so much of a big deal......love your partner and protect her. She is in love with you....and you are what matters to her now...not her ex.
2007-02-28 11:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to put your past mistakes behind you and start fresh. That means no more cheating on each other, otherwise their is no point is being in that relationship. You were both in the wrong there fore you don't really have a right to be angry just get on with it. If you love each other then start respecting one and other and being true. if neither of you can be faithfull then move on. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
2007-02-28 11:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from the friend that you found out from do you know if he/she is telling the truth? Before you get upset ask your girlfriend about it. If she says yes i did then ask her if she would get tested with you so that way you both are not going to feel "Bad" or "Embarrased" You will be amazed how jeaoulous people can be did you ever think that maybe your friend either wants you or her, and will stop at nothing to get that??Ask your girlfriend. If you need anymore help feel free to im me sweeteenpeach@yahoo.com
k.
Take care hun.
2007-02-28 11:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably bothered by it because you were hoping you were the first. I think a lot of men (and women too for that matter) tend to feel like they will be compared to the last experiences. That puts a lot of pressure on you to perform well.
Plus, I'm sure it bothered you to hear it from a friend instead of directly from her.
I'd suggest you talk to her about how you feel. But, be honest with her about yourself. A good relationship depends on honesty.
2007-02-28 11:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, dude, thats not really your business if she had sex w/ her last bf or not. it doesnt matter. that situation doesnt even concern you! so just lay off the subject. thats the past thats not your business. and to handle it with her, just CAREFULLY AND IN A NOT YELLING VOICE speak your mind. tell her how you feel. then, just chill. forget about it. it doesnt matter. what matters it how your relationship is going. and i havent actually talked to anyone about that subject, but i think it is normal to feel sad/angry. and while you're having your little talk, ask her how she feels about YOU having sex w/ ur last gf. maybe she feels the same way! but like i said before, just forget about it. it doesnt concern you.
2007-02-28 11:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by boys <3 me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude..AM with you I would Feel angry and Sad I would Feel kinda disgusted too.WHat ever you Do dont tell anyone About you Having sex with Ex gf!
2007-02-28 11:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to be a little sad by this. It means she shared something very special with him. However, she is now choosing to be with you and only you and that is all that matters. As you get older, it will be much less likely that any future gf's will be virgins.
2007-02-28 11:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by Shelley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your feeling that way because your just been selfish and you wanted to do it and you didn't want her to. But hey it's in the passed so forget it. Not unless you can't best thing to do is talk with her and explain it to her and break up. Or this will break you up in the future especially if you can't get over it.
2007-02-28 11:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋