What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
"Your mother ate us out of house and home.''
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles
were all in one Accord.
Eh,my mom emailed me these this morning. Would you like to share a few jokes as well?
2007-02-28 10:53:37 · 17 answers · asked by Myaloo 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Q. Why was Moses the most wicked man?
A. He broke all 10 Commandments at once.
2007-02-28 10:55:33 · update #1
Q: What is purple and rides on the back of the wild beast?
(Revelation 17:3,5)
A: Babylon the Grape
2007-03-01 04:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who were some of the shortest men in the Bible???
Bildad the shuhite was one. There was also Nee"High"Miah. There was also the High Priest who was told to read the law in the ears of the King.
An older one I heard from my Grandmother, Why couldn't the Animals on the Ark play cards??? Noah sat on the Deck. (Yes I know this doesn't work as well when you realise the shape of the ark)
One I recently heard takes things out of sequence but s still funny.
When God made Eve she originally had the breasts. When she looked at them she suggested the 3rd one be removed, God removed it and put it in her hand. She looked down at it and asked, what should we do with this useless boob. POOF God turned it in to Adam. (Yeah I know Adam came first.)
Teacher:What is the most amazing event you can think of???
Billy:The Great Flood of Noah's day.
Teacher:Billy the flood was made up, at best it was a puddle. So, now what is the most amazing event you can think of????
Billy:The fact that all of the Pharoe's men drowned in a puddle
2007-03-01 01:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A Moral Question
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. (Remember, I said this is imaginary.) Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed.
Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes.
You come across Osama Bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb.
So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below...
Which lens and shutter speed would you use?
2007-02-28 18:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
666:Biblical Number of the Beast
660:Approximate Number of the Beast
DCLXVI :Roman Numeral of the Beast
665 :Number of the Beast's Older Brother
667:Number of the Beast's Younger Sister
668:Number of the Beast's Neighbor
999 :Number of the Australian Beast
333 :Number of the Semi-Beast
66 :Number of the Downsized Beast
6, uh..., I forget Number of the Blond Beast
666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9997856 Number of the Beast on a Pentium
0.666 Number of the Millibeast
X / 666 Beast Common Denominator
0.00150150... Reciprocal of the Beast
-666 Opposite of the Beast
666i Imaginary Number of the Beast
6.66 x 102 Scientific Notation of the Beast
25.8069758... Square Root of the Beast
443556 Square of the Beast
1010011010 Binary Number of the Beast
1232 Octal of the Beast
29A Hexidecimal of the Beast
2.8235 Log of the Beast
6.5913 Ln of the Beast
1.738 x 10289 Anti-Log of the Beast
00666 Zip Code of the Beast
666@hell.org E-mail Address of the Beast
www.666.com Website of the Beast
1-666-666-6666 Phone & FAX Number of the Beast
1-866-666-6666 Toll Free Number of the Beast
(which could also be written 18-666-666-666!)
1-900-666-6666 Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts!
Only $6.66 per minute! (Must be over 18!)
666-66-6666 Social Security Number of the Beast
Form 10666 Special IRS Tax Forms for the Beast
66.6% Tax Rate of the Beast
6.66% 6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell
($666 minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)
$666/hr Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer
$665.95 Retail Price of the Beast
$710.36 Price of the Beast plus 6.66% Sales Tax
$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)
$55.50 Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments
Phillips 666 Gasoline Used by the Beast (regular $6.66/gal)
Route 666 Highway of the Beast (where he gets his kicks!)
666 mph Speed Limit on the Beast's Highway
6-6-6 Fertilizer of the Beast
666 lb cap Weight Limit of the Beast
666 Minutes Weekly News Show about the Beast (airs daily from
Midnight to 11:06 a.m., on Cable Channel 666, of course)
666o F Oven Temperature for Cooking "Roast Beast"
666k Retirement Plan of the Beast
666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
Lotus 6-6-6 Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast
Windows 666 Bill Gates' Personal Beast Operating System
#666666 Font Color of the Beast (the gray in this table, no kidding!)
i66686 CPU of the Beast
666-I BMW of the Beast
IAM 666 License Plate Number of the Beast
Formula 666 All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast
WD-666 Spray Lubricant of the Beast
DSM-666 (rev) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
66.6 MHz FM Radio Station of the Beast
666 KHz AM Radio Station of the Beast
66 for 6 A Beastly Score for an Innings (in cricket)
6 for 66 Bowling Figures of the Beast
6/6/6 Birthday of the Beast
6.66o F A Cold Day in Hell
Boeing 666 The Beast's Personal Airplane Model
Airforce 666 The Name of the Beast's Airplane (after he becomes President!)
C6H6O6 The Beast's Favorite Chemical (1,2,3-cyclopropanetricarboxylic acid)
6.66% 30-Year Mortgage Rate on 06/06/06
2007-02-28 18:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Serena 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the plural form of Jesus?
Jesi.
That's not very funny though.
Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!
2007-02-28 18:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Jay 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pagan lightbulb jokes... from http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1997/1997ADH.html
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb? 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.
Family Traditionalists: "Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!"
(or) "Go ask your own grandmother!"
Astrologers: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"
Pagans: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.
Gardernian Wiccans: Sorry, that's a Third Degree secret.
(or, In a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know... initiate?"
Alexandrian Wiccans: Dunno - we haven't looked it up in the Gardnerian Book Of Shadows yet.
(or) 13. One High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 to hold her up under all that jewelry.
(or) "Let's go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
Brit Trad Wiccans: 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.
Solitary witches: (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)
Wiccans: Four. One for each direction.
Buckland Witches: "Refer to my second book, 'Practical Light Bulb Changing', by Raymond Buckland..."
You can find more Pagan humor at: http://www.ecauldron.com/humorindex.php
And the Charges of the Chocolate Goddess and God at: http://www.theblessedbee.com/chococharge.html
2007-02-28 19:10:19 · answer #6 · answered by prairiecrow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a blonde buys a puzzle...she works on it for days and finally gets it...she tells everyone on the street she sees that she finnished it then a man asks her how long did it take you she said 3 days and as he was walking off yelled the box said 3-5 years!!
blonde buys a puzzle and cant get 2 pieces together...she was on it for hrs. she calls the boyfriend and gets him 2 come over and help....he gets there looks at the puzzle..looks at her and said honey put the cornflakes back in the box
i'm blonde so i dont want to hear any lip from anyone....
2007-02-28 19:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by Adele.S 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Who was the largest women mentioned in the Bible?
The woman of Samaria = some area!
2007-02-28 18:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Comment: How sweet of your mom!
The jokes make sense but maybe someone would be offended by them? Not me personally.
2007-02-28 18:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by étoile 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q.Why doesn't God visit earth anymore
A. Last time he did some 2,000 years ago--he had a brief affair with a young Jewish girl.-People have been gossiping about it ever since!!
2007-02-28 19:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by huffyb 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋