my 5 week old son's father wants to take him overnight 60 miles away. he is only 18 and makes very poor decisions and i am very concerned. he says he wants to be involved but also says he wont come over to my house to see him, the baby has to go with him. so far he hasnt seen him since we were in the hospital because of this, even though i have invited him over several times. should i be ok with this?
2007-02-28 10:38:08 · 24 answers · asked by green13 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hell, no!
I can't even believe you'd have to ask.
If this is the highest level of involvement he's going to have, you need to try to get him to sign away his parental rights--and demand child support payments if he resists.
Then you need to stay the hell away from him, and find some more responsible people to hang out with. If you're going to be raising this kid, you're going to need to grow up, fast.
By the way, you know what he's probably going to do with that kid?
Use him to pick up chicks.
He has NO business being with this child outside of your supervision, especially this early in the child's life. That's a baby. Not a pet. Not a cool toy. Not a fashion accessory. And not a chick magnet.
2007-02-28 10:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by Guncrazy 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
not at this time, he will be tied to you for the rest of his life, so he may as well get used to it. he has not shown maturity or ability to take care of the baby yet. either you go, he comes to spend time with the baby while you supervise, or perhaps he could bring his mother with him to pick up the baby and stay with her while he has the baby. (he will probably stay with her anyway)
being a biological father doesn't mean a guy knows what to do with a baby. some married men can't take care of babies. at five weeks the baby still needs mommy, but will be okay for very short times apart. maybe you two could work out a gradually increasing visitation schedule.
since you aren't married you may have a little leverage if he is not listed as the father. if he wants to play dad he will have to step up and be responsible. get a job, pay child support, provide insurance, and be a good care-taker. a baby can't be put in a room when you get tired of it or want to go out with the guys.
talk with an attorney about your concerns and see if you can get supervised visits until he grows up and shows some responsibility. until you have court orders for child support and visitation he doesn't have to pay and you don't have to let him take your baby anywhere.
good luck!
2007-03-01 20:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by 3agirls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not !!! That baby is only 5 weeks old. Why even ask us the question when you know the answer already and you said it...that he is only 18 years old and makes very poor decisions. Godforbid something goes wrong and you have this immature very poor decision maker taking care of your 5 week old son. granted it is his son too but clearly some people aren't responsible enough to take care of a baby even if it is their own child.
IF he really wants to see your son then he should see him on your terms. I would be very very skeptical on letting my son out of my sight and I would have to say No.
Good LUck though
2007-02-28 11:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you listening to yourself?
An 18 year old who never bothered to see the kid and makes poor decisions and you're wondering if MAYBE he's mature enough to have an overnight visit with a newborn whose cord probably just fell off?
If he wants to be involved,let him come and visit his kid. Let him support his kid. And make him take a parenting course so you might possibly be able to let him alone with the kid for more than the time it takes you to go to the bathroom.
NO you should not be ok with this. And if something happens YOU may end up losing custody to the department of social services.
2007-02-28 10:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by CYP450 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
5 weeks is too young for the baby to remember anything. Where is he taking him and what is the purpose of the trip? He may be doing this because he knows you won't let him take the kid on over night trips so far away and he doesn't really want the responsibility.
2007-02-28 10:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NO, not at age 5 weeks, the infant should not be out of your care.
If you are separated, divorced or never-married, you should get some court orders and stipulations regarding:
1) Child Support
2) Child Custody and visitation rights
This is extremely important for your benefit and your son's.
2007-02-28 10:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by KingGeorge 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get her cable grew to become returned on? Why became it off interior the 1st place? Sheesh. And what length denims do you like her to positioned on 20's??? i think of i'm the only that needs to comprehend. once you are the queen of infertility you're able to undertake. there are selections for you... I compliment any new mom for preserving the youngster to start with. do not complicate issues by potential of commencing off criticizing how she tries to discover her own way via this nerve-racking ordeal of bringing someone into the international.
2016-10-16 23:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOO!!!!!!! there has to be some reason for him to want to take him and hes not telling u.... if i were u and ur not with him anymore i would take him to court and make him come see u and ur son...legally at the moment until otherwise said u have any right to do what u want and i would tell him noooooo!!!!!!! good luck with the situation and remember court is not always a bad thing when it comes to ur kids and supporting them!!!!
2007-02-28 10:46:44 · answer #8 · answered by Amz87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that since he is too immature to see his child under YOUR circumstances, then he should not be allowed to take the child away from you, (or at least not yet).
I would tell him that if he wants to see his child, then he should come to your house to visit, and when you feel comfortable enough, then possibly he can take the child for a weekend long visit.
2007-02-28 10:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, don't let the baby go with him. Let him know supervised visits in your home will be the only acceptable way for him to visit his son. If he's not okay with that, I wouldn't worry about it. If you aren't married, I'd get child support orders in place and also let the local courts know he can't be trusted with the baby. I'm mom to3.
2007-02-28 10:41:54 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋