How do I get past it?

Question

My boyfriend proposed to me last week. We are now engaged. I've been so happy about it and so excited. A few months back though, he broke up with me pretty much out of nowhere. I was crushed. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. The next day though, he asked for me back and I gave him another chance. As bad as it was, it actually made our relationship stronger. We're crazy about each other and want to spend our lives together.

Thing is, I forgave him of this and most of the time am okay, but sometimes it'll hit me like a ton of bricks what happened before and I panic about it happening again. I'm engaged to be his wife and I'm still scared.

How can I keep this from bothering me, or is it just something natural that will cross my mind from time to time?

Answer 1

You MUST tell him exactly what you just told us!

You need to be able to get past even part-time panic and fear. Not totally, maybe, and not all at once, but definitely past the point you are at, and with hope for the future.

Answer 2

Maybe he broke up with you out of fear, and realization that you were getting closer than he may have been comfortable with, and then realized he was a dolt, and came back to mend the broken pieces. The fact that he proposed to you, proves he has grown beyond that, and I don't think you should worry about that. Unless he cheated on you while apart, I don't understand why being broke up for one day should introduce such violent emotions. I would say, move on...

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Something wasn't going right (do you even know what it is? you may want to adress those issues if they're still there) and you broke up - but realized that you still love and need each other so you made it work and now you want to marry him.

Just make sure the underlying issues are resolved.

Answer 4

well men are human being 2 the same issues we might have about relationships so do they... half of the time their going to be scared/insecure about any dicisions they make give them time and well he will eventually sort out his mind like hes been doing up to now and now the engagement is a big deal he might be one of thouse guys that the meaning of marriage means forever and now you need to help him get through any doubt he might have ... (congratulations )

Answer 5

every time someone hurts you like that even if you can forgive them you will never forget the pain not completely it is natural for it to cross your mind every once in awhile its completely normal so dont worry

i hope you too stay strong and happy
and that this advice helps
=]

Answer 6

i would have a lengthy engagment while my trust builds back up, i guess....

if you cant trust him, its not worth marrying him until you can...otherwise it may wind up an emotional rollarcoaster for both of yall and you may end up driving each other away or shaving your head to have a tattoo put on it.....

best wishes

Answer 7

i don't think i'd worry about it.
some relationships TAKE a breakup to make them stronger.
he probably thought he was doing the right thing and then realized how much he loved you!
thats really cute actually1 =]

Answer 8

Girl he asked you to marry him.He obviously loves you so I wouldn't give it another thought.If you love him and he must love you focus on that.You are a lucky girl.I wish you all the best.


And congratulations!

Answer 9

im only 15 but it happened to my aunt. i believe that it will cross ur mind from time to time because it was traumatizing but i think that things will be ok....best of luck, i hope that things work out.

Answer 10

Either learn to handle it, let it drop or get out of it before you marry him otherwise it will eat you up.
You are too wrapped up in him.