I have a bunch of wild and crazy friends all part of a bohemian bunch who are getting along in years, hence are cooling down. So there is this super hot party gal whos been there done that and now wants to settle down in calmer latitudes. As in most such cases the guys are straight arrow dependable type that have probably spent their youth face buried in books. Come time to marry these hot gals somehow choose the bland bread earners to settle down. This gal has an unique situation since in the past she has appeared in many private sex videos, copies of which are not impossible to obtain, but not in video stores. She brought the topic up many times and her fiancee seems totally turned off to the idea of watching such movies leave alone see her permorm her acrobatics in one. Is there a tactful way of disclosing this not so subtle matter to this future hubby so as to not have to suture the relationship in future?
2007-02-28 10:24:16 · 12 answers · asked by Kaliyug Ka Plato 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all John Becker grow up! Just because this person chose to live life differently than you did, doesn't make her a ****!
Be honest with him and if he loves you he will understand. It is what it is, but it's in your past let him know that. Also try proof reading your future questions that you post that might also help
2007-02-28 10:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by Lenka 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As he seems so turned off to even watch one of these movies, there is a high possibility that he will never even see the tapes. The only problem would be, if a friend of his did see and told him what he saw. I had a less precarious situation myself, albeit one where I had a past situation that had a possibility of being brought up in the future. I decided that I needed to tell my husband at that time (because I waited) and we almost got a divorce over it, but he forgave me, and we moved on. I think she should tell him that at one time, she was wild and crazy and stupid enough to appear in a video (it is important that he thinks that she thinks it was stupid) that he may or may never see or know about, but that she wanted to be honest with him concerning it, so that if it was brought to light in the future, he wouldn't believe she was hiding anything from him. Trust me, it's the best way, because someone DID end up talking about my less than stellar past in front of my husband...my own brother. So I was glad that he already knew it.
2007-02-28 10:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by It's Just My Opinion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him about it. Cuz if he finds out he'll be more mad he didnt find out from you. Plus its in the past, he cant be too mad becuase its not like you expected to meet him, or have this type of relationship with this type of person. He cant really be mad at you because you didnt do it to hurt him. Its just the way you were. However if you tell him, I wouldnt show him them. Since you would be having sex with different men and that would probably piss him off. I would just let him know but not go too much into detail, he doesnt want to think of you with anybody else but him.
2007-02-28 10:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by thop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be no reason to bring it up in the first place. I mean he isn't in to this sort of thing and she isn't into it anymore as it is a part of her PAST. Also, the videos are not in video stores but in a private collection somewhere and the likelyhood of them getting out and him seeing them, let alone recognizing that it is her or even believing that the person in them is her, is little to none odds. Also, no one else would believe it was her if it was seen...you see if she has changed NO ONE WILL BELIEVE....
If she MUST tell him, then she simply needs to tell him and be honest. If he cannot deal with it, then he isn't the man for her. If he cannot deal with her past and the fact that that was her PAST then he is a loser. We all have PASTS that doesn't mean that is who we are in the present it just helps design us. HE should be grateful she has "been there done that"...and it is out of her system...she needs to point that out to him.
2007-02-28 10:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by LM 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should own up to her past and tell her fiance, before he finds out by viewing it at someone's party...I know it is embarrassing and she would really like to forget her past, but she should have thought of that when she did the videos. So now better to say the truth and hope that her fiance will be understanding.
2007-02-28 10:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the time to make money..pronography industry is much bigger than any...the guy should marry the gal..move to US or else like that and promote her wife to make money for him ..and with that money guy can enjoy anywhere else....this is the only thing best can be done keeping everyone ego on mark...girl is hot..so she will never denied definately..guy is innocent so money can make him smile.
2007-02-28 12:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy answer, hard to do! She needs to tell him. This is what being engaged is all about. Better to find out that he may not accept this now, is better then him finding out in the future, especially when theres kids in the picture. Good luck.
2007-02-28 10:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by zards 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Guys aren't all that great about getting subtle hints. While he may not seem like he would want to, try do it in a joking way. Say something like "Hey honey, I know you really don't like this type of movie, but I think it would be something good for us to watch together."
You need to be honest with him.
2007-02-28 10:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by Lillian M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is better to hide the shameful secrets, and be ready with a concincing sob story if he every finds out. But do your best to ensure that he does not find out.
2007-02-28 19:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hide it from him. youll be left in 5 seconds if he finds out because he'll know you've been lying and you are a really a s1ut
2007-02-28 10:28:11 · answer #10 · answered by John Becker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋