is it ok that i don't know what to do with my life?

Question

I'm 20 and i feel like my life is going no where, I have been afforded every opportunity, i've been in college traveled to other states and countries, and yet now i feel like i'm procrastinating my life away... I'm doing nothing with my life right now... i've had many jobs (never been fired) and now i feel like i can't get my life started in the right direction again... I don't know what to do i'm considering joining the military. My family just wants me to figure out what i'm doing with my life, I just want to get a job and move out with my friends, be on my own so i can figure myself out! has anyone been there can anyone help with advice?

Wow I must say i wasn't expecting so many responses... It's good to know i'm not the only one who didn't know what they were going to do @ 20... I guess I always thought I would have my life planned out by now and ready to settle down, but now i see there are so many other things to experience in life before figuring the whole thing out! oh by the way i'm a girl not a guy!

Answer 1

My friend was the same age, had the same situation with college and jobs. He joined the Marines in 2003, killed in Fallujah in 2004.

Answer 2

I didn't get started on my current path till I was 28 (30 now), and I am glad I waited. I did the Air Force during my twenties and had a lot of fun. I am finishing up a zoology degree right now and love it because I have huge interest in the life sciences. Some of the people back in High School who rushed their lives are realizing they married the wrong person or picked the wrong career. Salary doesn't mean a thing if you hate your job or personal life. No rush. Just make sure if you do go into the military, pick a job you like and take every education and travel opportunity you can. At twenty, you may feel old, but you are still very young. late 20s - early 30s you should start getting a clearer picture of what you want out of life. Some people even change careers in their 40s to something more personally satisfying. There is no problem taking it slow, in fact, I think people who don't rush it seem happier in the end.

You have plenty of time. The military pays pretty good, too, and teaches you leadership skills. I didn't realize how much I changed until I got out. A lot more confident in myself than before I went in. Like I said, though, just make sure you pick a job YOU want. There are downs to the military so make sure you weigh those in to, but the overall experience in my case was positive.

Hint: If you score high on the ASVAB (like 90th percentile up), a lot of recruiters will give you your first pick of a job, electronics, medical, weather, whatever. And all that takes is buying an ASVAB study guide and studying the hell out of it for a week or so.

Answer 3

From what you say it sounds like you've had some time to explore. You just need to take some time to look at your interests and what you are happy doing. Joining the military is a big decision. You have to weigh the pros and cons. If you like physical endurance,and don't mind danger than it might be for you. you will also learn a trade and get paid pretty well. the military is an adventure if that's what you like. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do. There are many of people in life that change jobs, switch majors and college, or go back to school for another degree. There is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do. I suggest taking a career test to find a field that best suits you. Life is short. Have fun, explore your opportunities, and don't beat yourself up over this.

Answer 4

who are you going to choose for best answer? wow as if you aren't already having to make enough choices...i must say with all these answers i would say i think it should be clear to you as to what you need or should do. You mentioned that you are doing nothing with your life right now. One thing to keep in mind...do not focus on what you are not doing in life but on all the wonderful accomplishments you have made in life thus far at such a young age!! If you are able to afford to take a little break for a time and simply enjoy life for a time, celebrating all your hard work, and yes you have worked whether it seems like you have or not..then i would say TAKE A BREAK and really think this all out. However, sometimes with the break, one can stray away from this "roll" they are on, such as you...and you truly are on a roll. Don't evvvvven worry about what your family wants okay? It is YOUR LIFE! Has anyone been there?! Oh honey even your parents have been there..how quickly they forget! WE have ALL been there. Regarding the military...if that is what you really want i say go for it! With all your experience with college and work, you should be able to pass the entry exam with flying colors and even get in with a good rank which means good pay. Nothing, but good can come out of the military. Like another post i read, i too would recommend the US NAVY. With the military it will get you out of the house, out on your own, meet new friends, as well as keep your "old" ones and get to travel to even more countries than you have already been!

Just know that whatever decision you make, if you consider all the options and really think it out...that decision no matter what is the RIGHT one!

Answer 5

I can say I felt exactly the same way 36 years ago.
First off, don't feel as though you're wasting any time. You got lots of time in front of you. Joining the service will give you a solid place to spend the next three years or so sorting your interest out.
Like yourself, I couldn't find any direction at 19 years old. So, I joined the Army, and that was during Vietnam.
After I got out, I went back to college for a few years and learn enough about business to start one of my own. With that knowledge and just a few bucks, I became a capitalist.
Just remember one thing. It doesn't matter what you do to earn your money in life. It's what you do with your money that matters.
Someone with a medium income and a good sense of investment will do better than a doctor with a coke habit.
Live by this one rule and you will do well: Never create debt unless that debt creates wealth.
In other words, never buy consumer items on credit. Always buy things with money you already have, not money you haven't earned yet. Borrow money only for things that will increase in value, like a house or transportation to get to a job.

Answer 6

You're too young to be stressing out so much. Yes, you're old enough to be out on your own - but to know what you really want to do for the rest of your life? No way! None of us really know. (I'm 52 and I'm still searching - but I've tried to enjoy the journey!)

You say you want to get a job and move out with your friends. So do that! Plan out a budget and figure out where you can find work that would meet that budget. And I'd not rule out attending a good community or junior college. Pick one of the associate degree career programs and gain the skills you need to become employed in a good paying job.

Finally, the military is not a bad option either. It's an honorable and rewarding way to start your life out as a productive adult.

No matter what you decide - don't be too hard on yourself. But no more procrastinating either!

Answer 7

The ultimate decision is up to you, and to make that decision now at your age would be unheard of with the way today's world works. Some people are blessed in knowing what they want to do with their life before they even reach middle school; some live that dream, some don't.

There are millions of people that are in their 30's and 40's before they truly realize "what they want to be when they grow up." These people live various lifestyles but all end up in the same boat... having to take the risk and make major sacrifices to achieve their dream.

You are certainly not alone and I sincerely hope you realize that and perhaps just focus on living a fulfilling life while you try to figure out what you want to do. Don't feel like you have to rush to find your niche. When your day comes, you will know it with every bit of your heart and being... even if you have to wait a while.

If you're willing to take some scary risks (within the law obviously) and make the sacrifices needed to accomplish your goals, then you're already on the correct path to your dream... whatever it may be.

Here's some food for thought: One of the executive producers (or it may have been assistant, whatever) of MTV quit her $300,000 per year job to enroll in culinary school to become a chef. She spent some time as an intern (no money at all) until she was able to get a $7.00 p/h job as an assistant chef. She knew she wouldn't be able to start off big, but she knew it was her dream and she had to go for it.

Enjoy your life and experience all that you possibly can!

Not that it's relevant, but just so you know, I'm 22, so I can completely sympathize with you on the not knowing what to do. I was fortunate enough to be one of those kids who's always known what they wanted to "be." I always knew I wanted to be a teacher and that's exactly what I'm in the process of becoming.

Your day will come, I promise! I wish you the very, very best!

Answer 8

I will try to offer something here.

I didn't determine my career direction until I was 25. And that was with the help of a career counselor who, in effect, planted a seed into my head that germinated into a career decision a year later.

For me, I'd decided that I was going to be 30 soon and the speed at which my adult life was racing by I realized I needed to make a decision --- any decision that seemed reasonable. If it didn't work out, I at least TRIED to make a move.

(For the record, I have no regrets with my choice, except that my career path has taken me away from my beloved NYC to the wanna-be city of Los Angeles.)

Bro, I'd recommend a couple of things.

A) Get a career counselor and try to determine some desirable career options. With their help, you can then narrow the choices down by figuring out how difficult each would be to achieve.

B) Just get going. If you're in a parked car trying to figure out where to go next, you'll get no where. But if you're at least moving, then you have a better chance of finding what you need to.

It's hard, I know. You want to make the right decision. You don't want to look back with regrets. But always remember that you can go back to school and change careers mid-life. People do do this sometimes.

Answer 9

If you go into the military youre stuck there with whatever years it takes and then get sent to iraq or something and might get killed.

At least you said that you want to get a job and move out with your friends. Thats a good start why dont u do that? Why not do what you like the most but do it as a job?

You seem to be more well off than other peole(better than me) youve traveled and went to other countries and stuff so you can get an idea from that where you want to live.


I was 25 when i got my first job in computers. But i was never happy but everything you said is what i was thinking so it made me depressed then.

I suggest all that you mentioned just stay away from military unless you know u wont be in combat zone!

Answer 10

I am 20 as well. Life is hard. I have had many jobs. 15 to be exact. And I have hated almost every single one of them at some point. I know exactly how you feel. I myself at one point thought of joining the military. I have had so much sh!t that I have gone through, even at my age that made me who I am today. Sometimes I am still trying to figure it out, but it will come in time. But you have to listen to yourself. You are ONLY 20. You have done many things that some people do not even accomplish in a lifetime! What is it that you are so down on yourself about? You can do anything that you want to do, you just have to put your heart into it! Make yourself happy. Get a job that you like, meet new people, start a new fad, hobby, anything. Do anything. Be 20. Be young, be immature, be mature, feel old, do whatever it is that your heart desires. Who is to say that at 20 you have to have your life completely figured out? Nobody. I don't think these days that there is one 20 year old who can tell you that they know exactly what they want out of life! Give yourself a break! There are no rules that say you have to know it all! If you want in your heart to join the military, do it. If not, don't. Whatever you choose in life, make sure you follow your heart 100%.

Answer 11

Hey im in the same place as you right now. 20 years old, living at home. I'm in community college and have a part time job. But im not sure if my degree is actually going to lead to anything. I'm also considering the military (probably Army, if they'll take me). I don't have any advice, since I'm the quick of it myself. But I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this.
By the way; you are probably better off figuring this out while living at home (if that is indeed an option) as opposed to moving out and then trying to decide. It's a lot less stressful when you don't have to worry about roomies and rent. Of course, that's par for the course in growing up, but perhaps a few months of hard thinking without the added responsibility will be good for you. Just make sure that you do put thought into this.
I also think a part-time job is a good idea, even if it seems to be a dead-end type deal. It gives you a bit of cash, and something to throw back at anyone who accuses you of loafing around.
Good luck.