After 12 years and 2 children does the relationship move forward?

Question

if you've dated a person for 12 years should it have already moved on to marriage? details please ready to give it all up

Answer 1

Have you clarified that you want more? Have you discussed marriage?

If the first child was not planned for and he did not want to move forward, having the second child was not going to automatically 'seal-the-deal.' If he is commitment-phobic, he'll never want to get married. Marriage is not necessarily for everyone, even with children. Like Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell - they have kids together, but have never married and that is by choice.

Is this by choice (and has he declared this to you?) If you want something different and have not communicated this to him, he may feel you are content with how things are.

If you both disagree on your relationship status and what you both want, that is something entirely different and you need to evaluate at what matters most - for both you and your children.

Ulitmately - your happiness is key. And yes, the well-being of your children is very important, but if you are a depressed, anxious mother who is living life unhappily, that won't be helpful to your children either.

Take a good look at your relationship. Look at your lifestyle and your children. Take a look inside your head and heart and ask yourself some honest questions.

Don't 'expect' things to change if you, yourself are not willing to deal with the reality of what may or may not happen based on whatever actions you take, but the bottom-line is you HAVE to take some sort of action via communication at the very least to understand what it is you have vs. what is is you wish to have happen in the future.

If you don't know how he feels, you need to know. If you know he is not ever wanting to make a commitment, don't expect it to happen because you ask for it, or BECAUSE of your children.

Take a deep breath, and a moment aside to talk with your partner and decide how/if/when things will evolve and openly discuss what your ultimate desires are.

Answer 2

If you dated for 12 years and you trusted him enough to have 2 children together with out being married, how would marriage change anything?
If you live together for 7 years (or something like that) then the relationship is considered a common-law marriage anyway.

Sounds like someone is having trouble with commitment.

Answer 3

Is there a visitation order in consequence? If no longer tell your ex if his sister would not provide up asserting issues on your son you will no longer deliver him there anymore or get after college care till his dad can p.c.. him up or you get him after college and permit his dad get him while he gets off of artwork. If there's a visitation order in consequence then consult with a criminal expert and tell him your concerns and how your son behaves while he comes homestead and notice what could be performed. There needs to be an examine as to what is going directly to reason your son to act out. this is that he in simple terms misses his dad yet a six twelve months old should not be disrespectful to any grownup no count if it is your boyfriend or no longer it is unacceptable and needs to be dealt with. possibly you may desire to attempt taking your son to a counselor and notice if it helps till now it gets any worse. He would not understand what has befell an consequently while little ones do no longer understand they act out various the time in anger which isn't a stable ingredient. expert help is optimal.

Answer 4

i would definitely get married, just think, if you break up after those years, you will wish that you had not wasted that precious time, either that, and if he/she does not want to move forward, it may be time to end the relationship, sorry for the rough answer, but you could easily get hurt from this relationship and if he/she is no ready to move on after 12 years, it may be time to think of your priorities

Answer 5

You should have married before the kids. Why should he marry you now? He feels like there is no reason to. Sorry but this is why I have a problem with people having kids before marriage because there is no real commitment and people, especially men think it is easier to just walk out because it isn't leagal.

Answer 6

Seriously talk to him. Yes, you should be on to marriage by now, and he needs to realize that YOU have dreams for your life and you're not going to sit around and wait for him to muster up enough...whatever...to ask you. Put your needs before his...if you need to be married after having 12 years, ask him if that's what he wants. If not, you two aren't meant to be married. Maybe friends, but not married.

Answer 7

There is no set rules in this lifetime that you have to be married to anyone even though you have loved some one so many years.... its a choice between you two and no one else, and if your happy and love one another thats all that matters.... :)

Answer 8

it doesnt mean if u dun have more than 2 children the relationship doesnt go anywhere. as long as u and ur someone r happy together and love eachother then everything wilol be fine

Answer 9

Apparently he is happy with things the way they are. You may have to threaten to move out before he'll marry you.

Answer 10

Most definitely in my opinion. That level of commitment should have been met awhile back!!! Good luck