how do you tell you mother in law that you dont want them to live with you? and how do you talk to your husband with out him getting mad.
2007-02-28 09:13:48 · 10 answers · asked by Brandy S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Allowing her to move in would be the worst mistake you and your husband would ever make. Your husband needs to be the one to tell her she cannot move in. If he allows her to move in then he is still her little boy and not your husband. He would need to grow up and be a man. Tell him if she moves in you move out until she is gone. He has to choose one woman over the other.
Good luck!
2007-02-28 09:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your husband when you can talk to him alone while you're doing something pleasant. You don't want to make him choose between his mother and his wife. If this goes on, someday that's what it might come down to and it tears everyone apart emotionally. It does happen though.
If you can afford a counselor that will understand your particular problem, it would be worth the money to try that route. If not, then you have to speak up for yourself and let the chips fall where they may! You didn't say how old you are or why his parents want to move in with you. So telling you anything else would be impossible and based on conjecture. If you can feel it's wrong and feel it won't work, now is the time to speak softly and carry a big stick. It's your life and you must live it as you see fit. @8-)
2007-02-28 09:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart to heart with your husband. If your mother in law is not having health issues or any finanical reason that this has to happen, I would be upfront with your husband. When you got married you didn't get married to have your mother in law live with you too. It doesn't mean you don't care about her but you need to have your privacy. If it is for a financial reason, there are reverse mortgages on homes or finanical assistance that can be made. You may even volunteer to send her $200 a month or so to KEEP her out of your house. If it's medical then it may be time for you to rethink things on your end.
2007-02-28 09:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by ireallydoknowitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think that things work out for the best sometimes. You should have a real serious talk with your hubby. tell him the things his mom does that irritate you. maybe she can stay if your relationship with her gets better. Remember, she's not perfect. This isn't enough info to why you don't want to live with her anymore. But I can remember a rule my dad once told me. It's that two families can't live in the same house and that they'll always fight. That's true, but maybe you can help her look for an apartment. It can be done if the situation is handled correctly.
2007-02-28 09:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by starz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming he and his parents are reasonable people....
You start by treating him with love and respect. Don't scream, yell, get mad or be sarcastic. Simply tell him you can't deal with it and come up with a compromising plan. The key is to remain calm and have a alternate plan that you can live with.
P.S. YOU should not be the one to tell the in-laws anything this sensitive. That's your husbands responsibility. however you do need to be by his side as backup if needed.
Good luck.
2007-02-28 09:25:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lakin J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you married a Mama's boy.
Explain to your hubby that you need to start your life together and you can't do that with her in the house. Send her to some other siblings house.
Seems she is holding something over him (money??) and uses this to guilt him into doing whatever she wants. You are going to be the bad guy in all of this. It's a no win situation.
The best way would be to find some dirt on the old girl and threaten to expose her if she doesn't find new accomidations.
Good luck. OS
2007-02-28 09:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar issue.Only mine isn't the mother-in-law, it's the brother and sister-in-law.And they have no desire to move out.It has caused ALOT of problems between my bf and I.Just be calm, have all your reasons written down( because when you start to discuss it your mind will go blank)suggest other options,and stand firm.Don't buckle when he starts playing the guilt trip card,and chances are he will.Good Luck
2007-02-28 11:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by bjustnape 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Luck...I tried to not let my ill, aged mother-in-law move in with us but, my now, ex, told me I was just selfish .... you know. Well, we fought so long and in the end she moved in . She was one of the main problems in our marriage and soon all the other problems escalated and we divorced. I was going to college full time at age 41 and he thought he found a way to get his HOUSE WIFE back home. It didn't work. So, please, try not to fight with him but maybe suggest alternatives?
2007-02-28 09:52:21 · answer #8 · answered by missellie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband wanted his parents to live with us and I told him there was room in this house for one of us. Me or his mom. He could make the decision. (I'm still here)
2007-02-28 09:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man who lives with his mother is not a man, he is a boy.
2007-02-28 09:20:56 · answer #10 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋