Im interested in this guy who lives across the country. He's probably my best friend, he knows me better than I know myself. The only thing is it's hard to afford to travel to see eachother like we would want to and plus he's been working a lot overseas lately (about 6 months) so it's really depressing having someone you like live so far away. Other guys Ive dated in between have never been like him, they always treated me like crap, using me, etc. How in the world do you make something long distance work out for the better? I've done the long distance thing before and he would run around me behind my back and sleep with other girls then brag about it, breaking my heart. I swore I would never do the long distance thing again. Although my friend has admitted that he has feelings for me that go beyond just friends. He's never "cheated" or slept around behind my back reminding me all the time, yet I'm still reluctant to persue anything long distance. Any Suggestions?
2007-02-28 09:08:06 · 10 answers · asked by Lisa :o) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The first thing you have to ask yourself is how long are your willing to live this way? Second is the situation likely to change before that time runs out? If these timetables don't add up, then you either need to end that fantasy or find a way to be with him. Long distance relationships only work when the couple can ultimately count o being together in the end, and both people are commited to each other and to waiting it out until that time. Have you talked to him about these things and worked out these details? After that it's creative courting that holds you both together. Lots of communication (thank God for IM, which didn't exist when my husband and I were dating long distance) Care packages outside of regular holidays. Good old fashioned Love Letters and cards that can be held, and read over and over again when missing each other. My husband and I took tape recorders throughout the day and recorded things we would have said if we had been together throughout the day, it made us feel closer to hear about each other's daily routine (traffic jams, lunch break gossip, whatever.) I could imagine myself right there with him when I listened to his tapes, and that helped a lot. The only thing that got me through the 18 months we had to do this, was the hope that we would soon be together. If that isn't in the future, it likely will not last.
2007-02-28 09:20:22 · answer #1 · answered by Irish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance is very hard, and i really feel that the only way it really has a chance to work if you two established the relationship in person at first, then he/she had to travel or it had to become long distance, because just establishing a relationship thru the phone or computer a relationship to me isnt real to its in person, its a whole different situation in person, then you can see how you two really get along, but otherwise anyone can say anything on the phone or computer....
2007-02-28 09:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will give you the quick answer: Yes and No.
No : If you are living on a student/limited budget and just experiencing to see if its gonna work out.
Yes: Spending money for travelling once every two-three weeks is not an issue for you. This will happen temporarily. You will ultimately move there or visa versa. You have experienced your share of relationships and you are comfortable with yourself about guys. You hope to commit if everything goes all right.
2007-02-28 09:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by djfreex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of communication followed by more love!!!
You have to have strong love for that individual along with trust. You can't be in any relationship without trust, so miles apart with no trust is definite trouble waiting to happen.
Letter writing never gets old. There's nothing like receiving a letter from the one you love when you least expect it. They can be so personal and heartfelt!
But you gotta have that trust, mutual respect, communication, and most of all - Love!
Hope this helped and wish you the best!
2007-02-28 09:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when my boyfriend and i started out, it was long distance,for about a year, we saw eachother every weekend, we took turns driving, i know you said he is across country. have yall met? or is just online? i know once i met him, i knew i would make it work out, just have trust in your relationship. i can tell you one thing the time you do spend together is much more appreciated, since it doesnt happen that often, and that will let your relationship go stronger, what is ment to happen will work out if you want it to.
2007-02-28 09:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by joeylynn h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to be sure a relationship would work if you saw each other frequently. Right now it's just fun. Don't let yourself get hooked on someone that you can't be with - be more realistic.
2007-02-28 09:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've yet to see a long distance relationship works. You will need to decide if its worth dropping all that you're doing and join him or drop the relationship and move on with your life.
2007-02-28 09:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may not be what you want to read, but, It wont work, Sorry but a relationship needs closeness even if its not physical. And If You already know what to expect, why try again?
2007-02-28 09:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lourdes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make changes and go to him
2007-02-28 09:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't! Get Out!!!
2007-02-28 09:10:56 · answer #10 · answered by Tricee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋