How long should you wait before having sex with someone?

Question

How long before a guy loses interest?

I am 21 he is 23. How long should I wait before having sex with him? We really like eachother and I don't want to screw this one up. We have been talking / dating for about three weeks now. I want to do this one "right" (if there is such a thing) :)

He has been a gentileman with me and is not pressuring me at all I know the ball is in my court. We were in a situation where we COULD have had sex but we didn't it was a "i'm not ready" on both ends. I am just wondering if one waits to long if a guy will lose interest.

Answer 1

When Should You Sleep with Him?


Finally, we get a straight answer. Relationship expert Ryan C. Browning, cofounder of TLC Partnership, says that doing the deed too soon can backfire.
Great chemistry is hard to come by, so when you meet a guy you click with, all you can think about is having sex
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with him. Problem number one: Once you give up the goods, you lose the upper hand in the dating power dynamics. See, sex creates a false sense of intimacy, so even if you were iffy about a guy, you'd suddenly crave a commitment. Now to problem number two: This guy might not be there yet, so while you want to move forward, he's locked in place. The situation can make you feel helpless because he's dictating how serious the relationship gets.

But let's backtrack. During the time before you have intercourse, he's fully under your spell. The longer you hold off, the more intrigued he'll become, allowing you to set the pace and control how things develop. That's why it's important to postpone sex for as long as you can — I say at least a month. I know it's hard to resist when the attraction is so intense, but trust me, it'll pay off in the end. A few points to consider:

He actually wants you to say no.

In the beginning of the dating chase, men are looking to get laid, but they're also looking to make a connection. Even though he may turn on the charm, subtly (or not so subtly) pushing to get you into bed, the truth is, he'd rather you turn him down than give in. Yes, it's contradictory. Look, he obviously wants to have sex, but he loves a good challenge too, and the more he has to work for it, the more enticing the prize will be. If he likes you, he's subconsciously hoping you'll fend him off because it makes you more desirable. You've heard that anything worth having is worth waiting for. As long as you dangle the promise of sex in front of him, he'll be fixated on you.

The sex will be better.

Which brings me to my next point: The longer you have him in this holding pattern, the more fulfilling the sex will be when it happens. In addition to locking in his interest, you're also building up the anticipation of what's to come.

Let's be honest: First-time sex isn't always the greatest, but because you've been looking forward to it for so long, it'll seem more intense. Plus, since you waited to give it up until you felt completely comfortable with this guy (right?), you'll feel more in charge.

You'll trust your feelings.

It's no secret that hot sex can cloud your judgment. If you click sexually with a guy, you might overlook a lot of his flaws or inflate his good qualities in order to justify your reasons for sleeping with him in the first place.

When you wait to have intercourse though, it'll be with your eyes wide open. Since you've gotten a chance to get to know each other, you can trust that you're sleeping with him for the right reasons, not just because of some intense attraction. Coming to the decision on your own terms, at the right time, not only boosts your confidence, but it makes you feel more empowered in the relationship overall.

Answer 2

That's totally up to you. I have waited a month, I have waited until the 2nd date, I have even waited 7 months. The thing is the one I waited 7 months for only lasted for 10 months, and the one I waited almost a month for lasted 5 years so it's up to you. No matter when you do it the out come is going to be the same because no on can predict tomorrow. I know people who had sex on the 1st date and eventually got married. If you want to just "do it" if you want to because you think that is going to be the basis of you having a relationship with him or not then you have to talk to him.

Guys tend to think if you gave it up without a title then down the line you should not pressure them for one. If you want the title then tell him that because it won't be fair for you to have sex with him because in your mind that means you guys are in a relationship, and if you have to have sex with him to get a title then you need to tell him to go suck on an apple. The bottom line is if you want sex you just want sex. If you want sex so someone can say they are your boyfriend then you need to do something different.

Answer 3

Wait until you feel really strong for this guy. Such a strong attachment that you can't picture yourself without him. Then you will be ready. Make sure he feels the same. If he loses interest just because you aren't having sex with him yet, then he doesn't love you.

Answer 4

Wait until it feels right, when the time comes you will both know. If he truely cares for you he will be willing to wait as long as it takes. There is no definate time period to wait, just keep the communication between the two of you open so you both know how each other feels about it.

Answer 5

Three weeks? Golly, you're gonna shrivel up and blow away - not! That's really a bit too soon. You'd be much better off waiting several months at least. You don't want to be nothing to him but his little f*cktoy, and giving in too soon will tell him you'd be satisfied with that. Sex is worth waiting for, and so is the right man. My wife and I waited almost a year, and we're darn glad we did.

Answer 6

You have only been dating for THREE weeks. Yeah, he may seem like a nice guy but YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR THREE WEEKS. If you are worried about him losing interest in you then he is not the guy for you. Don't sacrifice your value so that he can have thirty satisfying minutes. Wait until you are both married. You're only 21, you will meet more men in your lifetime.

Answer 7

I don't think there is any acceptable time frame to make it "right". If you really want it to be right, wait till you KNOW it's the right one and have a ring on your finger. Other than that, there is going to be a risk no matter what you do. You just wait till you feel it is right and hope your instincts are right and he is a good guy.

Answer 8

What ever you do..... dont rush it.... get to know each other WELL before --having sex. It somehow changes the dynamics of the relationship, and prevents it from growing past that point....sex will be the main focus in the relationship, rather than true intimacy.

Dont know how long that takes...... maybe get married first??

Answer 9

First of all you have only been with him for how long? 3 weeks!!!!!
Don't be so easy. Your mind should be on getting to know him more not dropping your panties.
The truth is God want you to wait until you get married. But if you choose to do it your way at least get to know the boy first. Don't no real MAN want no easy girl. My husband waited 0ver 10 months and he was not a fool for waiting. He loved me and was willing to do what ever it took to keep me. Sex is good but it is not everything. THINK ABOUT IT!!!! and good luck.

Answer 10

hi,
be old fashion is what some would say. I say go with your feelings. life does not come with a book of chapters that give you a play by play instructions on the who's, what's, and the whens of life so just go with your feelings you are a grown woman after all