i've been with my fiance for almost 4 years & we're getting married in 7 months. but there's this guy from the US who kept on telling me that i'll be happier if i choose him. he was my classmate from college, we never really get to know each other when we were in college. he went to the US & i went to Canada after grad. we began chatting, he said that he fell in love with me bcoz i was really friendly & sweet. he was single that time but i was with my fiance that time. i told him that i "liked" him. we even call each other from time to time. but that actually stopped coz i realized that i was doing the wrong thing.
last week this guy from the US & i chatted for almost 4 hours. he said that he still have feelings for me. i already told him that im getting married. he asked me why i never gave chance to the feelings that i had for him. im confused, i don't know what to do. am i cheating? what do i do? i love my fiance so much but i like this other guy.
2007-02-28 08:18:04 · 18 answers · asked by kailanganktia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
if you really love your fiance, you wouldn't entertain this other guy. dont do anything that you'll regret in the future. if you wanna stop the connection with this other guy, then do it now. talk to him and tell him that you're getting married and you really love your fiance. all you can give him is friendship and that's it. you still have time tio think and do the right thing. dont leave the person you LOVE just because you LIKE someone else right now, coz in the end, the person you LIKE might end up leaving you for the person he/she LOVES.
2007-03-02 03:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Chelsea's Momi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said the two magic words...you LOVE your fiance but you LIKE this other guy. We marry for LOVE not LIKE and is this guy offering you marriage or just a roll in the hay. There is an old saying that goes "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't". In other words, why give up the man who's stuck by you for 4 years - good and bad - for a man that you barely know at all? However, the very fact that you are even considering this says you aren't ready for marriage, period. You should evaluate whether or not your fiance is the man you want to spend you life with - you could love him - but perhaps love in this case isn't enough. Whatever you do, I'd be very sure before I made a move either way. Good luck.
2007-02-28 16:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u are having feelings for someone else than maby u should postpone the wedding until u figure out what u want getting married is a big deal and most people don't realize that and maby ur not as ready as u thought u were if u do go ahead with the wedding and realize ur not happy then a divorce is alot more trouble than saying i do. On the other hand if u choose this other guy and u realize made a mistake then its too late this is something that u really cant take advise on this is something that u need think about and most of all follow ur heart and setting a later date on the wedding really wouldn't hurt good luck
2007-02-28 18:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by mandy d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like someone else then you don't really love your fiance.
Obviously you answered the phone when the other guy called otherwise you'd ignore the cal altogether.
Talk to you fiance about your wedding jitters... Be up front. Check yourself for what is in your heart. Do you Love you fiance? Are you In-Love with him? Do you Want to Marry HIM? Do you just want to marry someone? Seven months is a long time to figure out how you feel. Most importantly just because you have been together for that amount of time does not mean you feel the same...
Talk to him. If you hesitated to answer the first two questions above you need to have a serious talk with your fiance...As for the rest of the questions you need to do some soul searching.
This is your life. You are not doing him or youself any favors by lying. Marry someone because you mean it, not because you don't want to hurt them. You are hurting them worse by lying and possibly cheating... Discussing love for someone not your fiance brings serious doubt to the relationship and needs to be met sooner rather than llater. Wrestle with your feelings and then talk your fiance as soon as possible....
Marriage can be scarry- it is not just living together anymore- it is more than that and if you have fears you should be able to talk to your fiance openly about your fears and hopes...
2007-02-28 16:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find some time to be by yourself and spend some time thinking. I would bet that its not unusual to experience something like this shortly before getting married - its a big committment. You may find, after you've had time to think, that you're sure that you want to get married even though you're still fond of guy no. 2. Or you may find that you're not sure if you fiance is the right guy - and/or that guy no. 2 might be. In that case, you definitely need to postpone the wedding. I wouldn't depend on others' advice on what to do - you're the one thats going to be married, hopefully for the rest of your life, so you need to make sure that you're making the right decision, not the most acceptable decision. Good luck!
2007-02-28 17:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by confused (again) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to continue to speak with this other guy and you are confused about your feelings it is time to call off the wedding, as you are not ready to get married and be committed to your fiance. You say you love your fiance so much...but then why are you attracted to this other guy? You are doing this because you really are not in love enough with your fiance; and you are having second thoughts. So either call off the wedding or pospone it until you are clear in your thinking and know for sure because if you marry you be sorry with these confused thoughts you have.
2007-02-28 18:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about why you're feeling this way. Maybe you are having cold feet about the wedding, or maybe you truly aren't ready to get married. Whatever the case be I really suggest that you postpone the wedding until you can sort out your feelings.
You said yourself that you love your fiance, and like the other guy, would you consider giving up your fiance for this other guy?
2007-02-28 17:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices here. If you choose to explore your feelings for the other guy, you will have to cancel the wedding and make a complete break with your fiance to do this. If it doesn't work out with the new guy, you probably won't be able to return to your fiance. If you marry your fiance, let the other man go completely and don't tempt yourself with him. You say you love your fiance so much, so I think you have your own answer right there.
2007-02-28 16:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you found out your fiance was chatting with another woman for 4+ hours? Of course you are cheating. You either love your fiance - or you don't. You need to make up your mind. And if you decide you love him and want to marry him- be TRUE to him and STOP talking to this guy.
2007-02-28 18:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be MANY opportunities such as this one presented to you throughout your life.
YOU have to make a decison on how you will respond to these temptations. Will you succumb or will you honor your commitment?
You are betrothed. When you accepted the proposal of your fiance, you said yes to him & no to EVERYONE else. You should NOT be in the company, encouraging or anything else with this other man. You aren't exactly 'cheating' but you aren't being quite right, either.
If you have feelings for this other man that are truly genuine, it is best you address it now rather than go through with the wedding.
2007-02-28 16:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋