What would you do if you've talked to guy for 1 yr & he's afraid to meet in person?

Question

I’m 29 & have talked online & by phone with a guy (age 35), for 1 yr. Each day he emails me 1st. We’ve shared 3,000+ emails. Shared pics & talk about everything from families, growing up, goals etc. He caught his ex fiancé in bed w/a guy 4 yrs ago – it hurt him bad. He told me hundreds of times how he feels about me. He made it clear that he wants to meet. He even initiated discussions about us one day getting married & having kids. That scared me b/c we haven’t met. He wouldn’t set a date when to meet. Said he’s afraid b/c he’s never met anyone in person b4. He's asked me many times if I wasn’t attracted to him in person, would I tell him. Said I don’t care about his looks– we’re adults. I didn’t reply to his last email Fri, about having "dessert" after lunch (joking). He's talked a lot like that lately - now I get blocked calls to my cell. I think it's him - he left JT's "sexy back" song. No emails - I don't want to call, email him - waiting for him to do so

Answer 1

Sounds like he is quite comfortable with a relationship with you, but only from a distance. He may be suffering from crippling shyness or he may be just stringing you along.
Whatever vibes you get from him, it is hard to be accurate in your assessment seeing as though you haven't truly met yet.
Give him some time to make good on setting a time and a date for meeting. Set some limits as far as how long you are going to allow him to drag this out. If you say... "I want us to arrrange a time/date to meet within the next 3 months" this will allow him some time to make accomodations financially and otherwise. You should however make it clear that if this goal isn't met, then it is only fair for you to assume that it will never come to pass and move on. You can set clear boundaries with him, just do it! :)
I wish you luck! :)

Answer 2

are you comfortable with him?

I met my hubby online. We chatted for close to two years and we were both still really scared to met in person. B/c we were afraid that it would change the friendship that we have.

It was really scarey to met in person. But everything worked out wonderfully. We have been married for almost four years.

Anyhow. You need to be comfortable with him. If you aren't then i wouldn't met him in person. If you are a little afraid..have a good friend go with you to met him. Be safe and be smart about it. But you have to find out once and for all where this may or may not go.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like there's something about himself that he's not telling you or that he's ashamed of. He's obviously insecure about something and unless he let's you in and tells you what that is, I don't know what you can do short of giving him an ultimatum. Let him know that you need to go forward to the next step, which is to meet face to face. If he refuses then you have your answer.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say that he is probably STILL married. He's too afraid to meet and blow his cover and risk his real life relationships.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I think it's time you demanded some action from him before you waste another day.

Answer 5

he is a freak......