Ok like 3 yrs ago I slept with this guy who told me he had a girlfriend but that they see other people and sleep with the other people all the time. So I slept with him but come to find out now that he was and is still married. I think I should call his wife and tell her what a lying little scum her husband is but I dont want to ruin her life. I think I should do it. What do you think?
2007-02-28 07:56:48 · 27 answers · asked by lovebug512 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Holy hell some of you ppl are heartless! Why does it not shock me that its the men saying I should mind my business and leave them alone? If my man cheated I would wanna know, even if it was 10 years ago! The point of a relationship is trust, and im so sorry that i have a concience and its eating away at me...PS-thats sarcasm
2007-02-28 08:08:40 · update #1
maybe...it might be better for her to know about it..but then she'll be put through lots of pain..but then again she is being lied to for years and stuff...idk!! ahhh
2007-02-28 07:59:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, to be honest, the person who's technically ruining her life is her husband. If this is the sort of thing he does periodically then he's putting her at risk for a whole bunch of nasties. Not to mention he's being totally dishonest with her, which is the worst thing about someone cheating on a person they have a relationship with.
It's a tough decision...if it was a one time thing on his part it would probably be for the best if you didn't say anything. But, if you know he's a chronic cheater and does this on a regular basis with others I'd say something. She doesn't deserve that and should be able to make an educated decision whether or not this is the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
But that's just my opinion. I really don't envy your position. :(
2007-02-28 16:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by Random Thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason that stuff doesn't really happen is because most women have a conscience, and wonder what it would be like if it happened to them. I think her reaction would be to call you a liar. Such a call would be very unwelcome, since I think many women would rather live in blissful ignorance, and she would not want you to think you are secretly gettin one over on her.
To help her, she should be told. So find a way to have proof, (like identifying a mole), and tell her anonymously. Give her enough proof so that it is irefutable.
A phone call would be a bad bad exp for you. She will go to the greatest lengths to call you a liar.
Think of how you would react to such a call.
2007-02-28 16:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Menga M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont ruin their life. Dont get involved. I know it is messed up when your husband is just a peace of shyt but you personally cant do or solve anything. It is something that she will find out one day for herself. It is something maybe she already knows and dont need no other chick to call her with some more bad news. And if she do know about it then she is just one of those females that try to put punk glasses on so she act like she dont see anything happening by her choice. Plus it was 3 years ago. Just move on like they probably moved on by now. Let it go. Its probably is not what you may agree with or would like to hear but its the smartest choice. Just think of it like that.....what good is it going to do if you tell her the truth? No good, but some kind of selfish personal satisfaction. What good is it going to do for her? No good either, but whole a lot of pain and information that may not want to hear.
2007-02-28 16:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK ONLY YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR EVERYDAY, NOT US.
DID HE TRULY DECEIVE YOU INTO THINKING HE WAS IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP? OR DID YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THAT, BECAUSE YOU KNEW HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP. IF HE TRULY DECEIVED YOU, THEN I WOULD TELL HIS WIFE CAUSE HE NOT ONLY PLAYED YOU, BUT HER TOO. IF IT WAS ME I WOULD WANT TO KNOW. HOWEVER, I WOULD BE PREPARED FOR THE RAMIFICATIONS. IF SHE IS COMPLETELY UNAWARE (WHICH I DOUBT, I BET SHE KNOWS HE IS A JERK) THIS WILL REALLY SHAKE UP HER WHOLE WORLD. DO THEY HAVE KIDS? HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN TOGETHER? WILL THERE BE AN UGLY DIVORCE? SHE MAY ALSO BLAME YOU, MAKE YOU OUT TO BE A HOME WRECKER.
ALSO YOU DIDN'T SAY HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN SINCE YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS MARRIED, WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG? ALSO WHY WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A GUY THAT HAS A GIRLFRIEND ANYWAY? SORRY, I HAD TO ASK. GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-28 16:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by NeNe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to remember you always knew there was always another women. And that you were the other woman. The only reason he wanted to get up with you was because it was something different than what he had at home. Is not the only one to blame just remember that. And you also need to realize it was 3 years ago and alot can happen from then and now.
2007-02-28 16:02:27 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe at the time it happened yes. Not now. Too much time have past and maybe their relationship is on the right track now. If you feel that he wronged you in some way.. maybe you should know the person you are sleeping with a little bit better before hopping into bed with them.
2007-02-28 16:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't let his wife pay for your mistake.You should of found out more about him before you slept with him.Men lie all the time,specially about being married because they know most people won't give them the time of day,and don't care to be mixed up in their relationship.Eventually she will find out what a cheater he is,and it will be her choice whether she stays or goes.But it's not your job to make that decision for her.
2007-02-28 16:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by glorene b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it ride---your mistake, move on. Dont be a homebreaker, they may be happily married with kids.
They may just do their own thing and they both cheat on each other.
Just be wise and dont make the same mistake over again!@
Get it out of your mind after asking Jesus to forgive u of your sin by the blood of Jesus.
2007-02-28 16:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that would serve no purpose. It was years ago and maybe he has reformed, or maybe she already suspects but does not want to acknowledge the facts. What if there are kids involved here? Besides its not like you are an angel in this matter-right?
2007-02-28 16:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Maria b 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell her. It's better from her to hear it from you then to hear it from someone else. becuase most guys are scum he will never tell her. Even though you are afraid to mess up her life. Look at it this way if you don't tell her it will hurt her even later in the marriage. So in my personal opinion I would tell her. And think about it like this. If your husband slept with someone else would you want that person to tell you? Or do you want that person to keep it to herself? And let it hurt you more in the long run.
2007-02-28 16:01:46 · answer #11 · answered by Shizzy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋