Question...I can't seem to understand why my father doesn't want me to cook. I'm a 20-year-old college

Question

student, and yes I still live with my father and mother. At the age where most people learned how to cook, he never wanted me to. We'd often times get into heated disputes, when I was younger, in regards to me cooking. His reasons were even more bizarre--she might burn the house down, etc. What I don't understand is that I've received complements about my cooking. I enjoy my food, and apparently, I'm not the only one. Last yr., the rest of my family also enjoyed the Christmas dinner that I prepared for them. It amazes me that he still doesn't want me to cook at age 20. He points at my food, makes faces, laughs at it. I don't understand it. I've always taken the proper safety precautions. I've never left the stove on, I've never left anything on the stove, etc. I've always been told that my food not only tastes good, but looks good as well. I don't know if he belittles me, because my mother has never shown any interest in cooking. Until I became older, he did all of the cooking.

I don't know if this helps, but he recently had a stroke. "That's why I don't have my own kitchen." I'm helping him out while pursuing my education. I was reluctant to add that, because he's had problems with me cooking ever since I was a [minor], but yet still at the age where most people learn how to cook. I didn't want all of the focus to be on his health, because he's been acting this way for years.

Answer 1

He cooks you're taking his job away and a little of his glory. I wouldn't worry just let him do it. In a few years when you're married you can cook all the time and will wonder why you were ever so concerned. You'll wish you had a old man like your dad who would cook every once and a while! You'll spend many years in front of that stove, trust me.

Answer 2

When I married my first wife, I thought that she would be a wonderful cook and house keeper, because, her mother's house was always spotless. When we got married, I quickly discovered that she didn't cook or clean well. Then I discovered why. Her mother lived for that house. Literally! All the cleaning was done by mom. All the laundry, cooking, baking. All the groceries and houshold items were ordered by phone and deilvered. The furnishings and applicances were purchased by cataolg, and delivered right to the door. And, pity the poor delivery man who didn't place the item precisely where the woman of the house wanted it placed. This woman had a major case of "Kingdom Syndrome". No one dared to disturb the rythum of the kingdom. While we were dating, I never once ate a meal at my fiance's house. There was one table, one husband, one wife, one sister, my fiance and four chairs. A fifth chair would have dusturbed the rythum of the kingdom. I doubt that the situation is that drastic in your fathers home, but, it is still your fathers home. And we don't disturb the rythum of the kingdom. At least, not as far as your father sees it. It seem that this is a confusing battle that still baffles you to this day. And, quite honestly, you may never understand the reason for this strange behavior. I hope that I was able to shed some light on the issue for you. And, believe me, it could be worse. My wife eventually learned to cook and clean outside the borders of her mother's kingdom. But, that didn't ensure her happiness either.
Seek out other avneues to express your love for your family, and, continue to perfect the art of cooking. Some day a deserving young man will benifit greatly, form the gift of love, that your father ignored.

Good luck, and God Bless.

Answer 3

What you're describing once you talk the lack of ability of mom and Grandmother are user-friendly as emotions of abandonment. those emotions are somewhat user-friendly and are to be estimated. additionally, the gap you experience out of your Father stem from the lack of ability of the Maternal photographs on your existence. Your choose for a g/f to talk to are a good element. Even a friendship you may desire to sort with a youthful woman could be healthful outlet for you. i could advise which you seek for some counseling from a qualified therapist that can assist you variety by your emotions which you will comprehend and settle for them and finally flow forward on your existence. The schoolwork will pay vast dividends, yet, in case you're overwhelmed, refer to a curriculum counselor to trim some training or placed off a direction or 2. could God bless you.

Answer 4

It's nothing to do with you personally. He is being horribly immature. He can't accept that you are growing up. He still wants to be in charge of fixing the meals - apparently it was something he enjoyed. You might try asking him to help you - this might create a bonding experience, and he could pass some of his 'secrets' on to you. If that does not work, try not to let him bother you. I know how much the lack of support from one parent hurts, but show him that it doesn't bother you and that you don't need his permission to do what you love.

Answer 5

Perhaps it's a psychological thing. Maybe he doesn't want to be replaced by you as "the family chef" because it gives him a sense of control. Relinquishing that control could be scary to him. That sounds messed up, but hey, our parents have "issues," too.

Answer 6

Wow... paging doctor Freud. You'll probably never really know if he or your mother can't enlighten you. Clearly he has a complex because of something, but this is so unusual it really could be anything. But it's definitely not your fault.

Answer 7

Sounds like he's jealous that you cook better than he does (did). Just let him know it really hurts your feelings when he makes comments like he does, and begin the healing process.

Answer 8

You can tell him if he doesn't want to eat your cooking, he could actually make something for himself or go out and grab a hamburger at McDonald's for all he cares.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's just having a problem with you growing up or he's just controlling.

Answer 10

Your dad is important to you, and if it does aggravate him if you cook leave him alone, and let live in peace. Who is more important your cooking or your dad.