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I have a 4 and a half year old and he is verry indpendant and he hate my fiance and I going out with him he says he feels like a "baby" and he is a big boy now but.... I still don't know we have a fenced in yard,and there is no other way out of the yard, and I keep an eye on him through the window but .... I need advice on this

2007-02-28 07:36:09 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

27 answers

depends where you live. If you live in a city someone may kidnap him, if you live in the country a mountain lion may attack him. I would say 4 is too young to be out by themselves. He needs adult supervision or at least an older kid around him one over 13 years old

2007-02-28 07:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Samantha 6 · 0 2

A four year old may think he's a big boy, but he still doesn't have the decision making capabilities to keep himself out of danger. I have an almost 5 year old and she has a way of getting into the strangest predicaments, even when I am watching. Kids this age are naturally curious and don't stop to think about the consequences of their actions.

Instead of saying that you are going outside to watch him- do some yard work or read while he is out there so you still have an eye on him, but he feels that you are not treating him like a baby.
You can work in the yard together- give him some age appropriate jobs that he can do by himself, like pulling weeds or sweeping the patio.

Think of other ways to help foster independence while still being able to keep him safe.

Good Luck

2007-02-28 15:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by mlcacek 3 · 2 0

I have 4 children who are all older now (ages 27, 25, 22, and 9) plus I have provided child care in my home for 20 years. This is a question that may be difficult to answer with a definitive age. Each child is different and reaches a point of ability at different ages. It sounds as though your son is ready to try out a little independence and a fenced yard with you looking on appear to be a good scenario. I deal with this on a daily basis at my house since I care for all ages of children from birth through school-age. If any of my daycare children are napping, then I do not go outside, but I often have older children who would like to play outside. I judge if they are ready to go outside without me if they consistently stay in the area of the yard where they are supposed to stay (we don't have a fenced yard since we live in the country on 4 acres) and are very good at following directions. I would suggest that you work into this gradually. You can tell him that you will let him go outside without you, but these are the rules. Stick to 3 or less that are easily remembered. Let him have 10 minutes outside alone and if he does well, you can slowly build up to a longer time period. He'll soon be ready to go off to school and if he's had a taste of what it's like to be independent it will make his school experience more positive for him. I also have an early elementary teaching degree.

2007-02-28 15:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1 0

If your yard is fenced in and there is no access to public property, then I'd say four is okay. If people can see into the yard or (God forbid) get into it, I'd say no way. I let my older five year old play outside by himself, but until recently (he's almost six) he had to have someone out there. He proved himself to me that he'd stay in the yard, not throw rocks or sticks and break stuff, etc.

I told him today when we were at the book store and he wanted to go in the mens by himself, "It's not that I don't trust YOU, it's that I don't trust all the grownups who could be in there with you". Responsibility is a large part of it, there are a lot of parents around us who shouldn't let their seven or nine year olds out to play because they DO throw rocks at the neighbors' dogs, or break peoples gardens down. Just no respect or consideration, and certainly no parental supervision.

The key is, if you feel unsure, then you shouldn't do it. Sit in the grass and pull weeds, water the lawn, read a book, ask him if you can play his game (and be sure to follow his rules). Let him know that you are just lonely for him. :-)

2007-03-01 00:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0 0

Id keep watching him out the window.......but try not to let him know your doing it. It is good for children to feel a small sense of independence. It's wonderful that you have a fenced in yard so he can be safe. How high is the fence? If it's high enough that nobody can see over it from outside or reach over it, I'd say let him go out and play.

2007-02-28 15:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by TJ 2 · 2 0

As long as you are watching them the entire time. Looking through the window out in to your yard (backyard only).

If it's a front yard and fenced in (lower fence) than you should be out there with him at all times..especially if it's on a semi-busy road.

2007-02-28 15:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly B 1 · 0 0

I think its OK at his age, depending on if there is a pool, dog, etc. You have to consider the age of the child and the type of yard. If it was an apartment and you can't see the yard, no. Its a situation where you have to use your best judgement as a parent. And you need to give him a little freedom and let him feel like he is a big boy. It won't be the end of the world if he falls down and skins his knee, that's what mommies and kisses are for.

2007-02-28 15:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 1 1

By themselves WITH someone looking over them?
If you mean without than I would say depending on where you live as far as busy streets etc....I would certainly still be watching him from the window!!! Well if you're right on a busy street and have no fenced yard I would still be right out there with him.

2007-02-28 15:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 0 0

My children are 4 and 5 and I still don't let them out alone,though we don't have a fenced in yard either.I think if we did I would possibly as long as I can see them,but I don't know I'm a worrier?!

2007-02-28 15:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 0 0

If the yard is not fenced in- don't let him out. this is a limit that you must set no matter how he fights against it. I wouldn't let him in the yard alone unless he is at least kindergarten age and has a better understanding of the responsibility for himself.

2007-02-28 15:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by jettyspagetti 4 · 0 0

Keep watching him through the window and set boundaries. Tell him if he leaves these boundaries, then someone will have to be with him at all time. My girls are 6 & 7 and I let them play in the backyard only where I can see them. I still don't feel comfortable letting them have control of the outdoors yet.

2007-02-28 15:40:06 · answer #11 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 2 0

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