She has done it two times now,once at home(i caught her)and two days ago at school.a teacher saw the scrath marks on her arm, aaaashe was called into the office and she tokld the councelor she is under a lot of preasure at school. She is in 8th grade, she is in 9th grade algebra, she has a couple of bench mark tests this week and wasn't recommende for advanced placement english but almost all of the kids she "hangs out"with were. I gave her all my love and support,took the preasure off re.having to get very high grades (a task she was very serious about,i reasured her as long as she's trying ,if she gets an f i would still love her!!!! not to be so hard on herself.) We found out she can still take the test for the high school english class. I have made an appointment for counceling. I guess my question is , is there any thing else i can do?? I am scared to death!!!!!!
2007-02-28 07:17:15 · 14 answers · asked by heather s 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I would suggest talking to a therapist about it. You first, then gradually open her up to it. If you force her into going to therapy straight off the bat, she'll be a lot worse off. As a teenager, it's all about the trust issues, and once your support system forces you into something, your world comes crashing down on you. But if you actually talk to a therapist yourself, the therapist can give you a little more ease of mind plus many suggestions on how to help your daughter through this hard time in her life. This way you can help her without sending her to therapy straight-away. We all must remember the teenage years are the most critical and vulnerable stages of a child's life. And KEEP TALKING to your daughter. Keep letting her know that you're there, like you're doing, because she needs you more than ever. Once things start coming down and she's ready to talk a little more about it, start suggesting talking to the therapist. If she doesn't want to go alone, offer to go with her and be a supportive shoulder. Let her know you're there with her all the way. It's going to be a hard process, but it will be worth it once she stops.
With cutting, most people tend to "cut away" their stress. They feel a sense of relief when they cut into their skin, like the stress is suddenly released with the blood. Or sometimes, they need to concentrate on another pain besides their own, so they inflict another pain that they believe they have control of so they can concentrate on that. It's just a little history. I have friends that used to cut. It's not an impossible thing to recover from, but it will take some work.
Best of luck, and I'll keep you in my thoughts.
2007-02-28 07:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are ready to spend a lot of time worrying about the whole situation. What you might want to do instead is to use that nervous energy, that desire to make it all better, to help you focus your daughter on something that she would enjoy doing. Something peaceful. If she likes animals, maybe she could do some volunteering at the local animal shelter or zoo. Maybe she could take riding lessons. Just being around animals and nature is a warm balm that can soothe stress and put things in perspective. That grade in school is not the be-all and end-all of her existence. She needs to be made aware of other things the world has to offer. Once she relaxes, her schoolwork will fall into its proper place on her priority list. It will remain challenging and fulfiilling, while ceasing to be a pressure point. Schoolwork will become more of an activity. It seems that so far, it has become THE activity for her. Encourage her to experience some new things. Maybe a community playhouse where she can do some acting. A poetry workshop can be a way to express her momentary confusion. She is young and impressionable and she has heard about how some people mishandle stressful situations. Now she needs to learn how to refocus the negative energy into something beautiful. There are no limits to what she may enjoy, so look around your community for opportunities that are open to her.
2007-02-28 07:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Konswayla 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really good that your have caught this at an early stage...well done to you and the school teacher!
Pressure at school is a reason for so many mentally complicated conditions including self harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety etc. I think she just feels like she has to be the best and this pressure is building up on her and she's taking it out on herself. I don't think there is much else you can do, you just have to love and support her ..don't judge or criticse her for what she has done (regarding self harm) and i wouldn't advise telling her that your scared for her because this may also make her feel that she is causing others pain and make her feel worse. As a parent I think you are doing a great job, I wish mine where as supportive, you now have to put your trust in the professionals...rememeber this is about your daughter, not you. It doesn't make you a bad parent, so don't be blaming yourself....this is about her.....you just have to support her and it seems like your already doing that:)
If you want to discuss your stress with someone try the samaritains check out their website : www.samaritans.org ...you can email them or ring them.
There is also many sites on the web that will give you more information about self harming which may help you to understand it better and also may give you tips on how to help your daughter.
Also if you haven't already, perhaps taking her to the Gp is good too just for a check up.
However don't force her into anything she doesn't want..even therapy...tell her that you think it's a good idea but don't make her go....it will make her feel she can't trust you enough to be honest about things if she thinks you will force her into doing something she doesnt want.
Best of luck to your daughter and yourself
x
2007-02-28 07:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by SH2007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 yr daughter deal stress cutting
2016-02-01 02:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My now 16 year old stepdaughter went through this phase when she was 14. Unfortunatley we had to admit her to a bahavioral hospital for 2 weeks and afterwards, enrolled her in counseling at our local teen center. Also we locked up everything in the house that could be used to injure herself. Be aware of other things that could also be used such as broken cd's, paper clips, etc. Yes it is time consuming and very stressful, but needed to be done. The doctors who volunteer at the teen center prescribed her Lexapro, which seem to help also. Please be careful though, taking the wrong approach for us led to increased temper, and a complete change in attitude towards the whole family.
She may even attempt to decieve any counselors, doctors, or anyone else attemping to help her, by telling them what they want to hear so they will leave her alone. Be strong, remind her every day, how much you love and care for her. God Bless you and your daughter, my heart goes out to your family.
2007-02-28 07:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by Judge Not 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not something you can do on your own... you are being very good by rleieveing the stress.. but it dsounds like the stress is intenrally motivated and comes from hanign out iwth smart friends.. .
She needs to see a spychologist.. don't hae a family meetin gor anything becuase you dont' wnat her to feel overhwelmed...
Also what you can do is try to give her some perspective .. Take her to volunteer at a soup kitchen.. talk to a homeless person and this will help her see how smal her problems really are.. also have her get a hobby like pottery or judo or something that she can channel her energy into.
but she seems depressed and all your love won't cure her if she is only therapy or drugs will do that ...
trust me this used to be me but you can come out th eother side
2007-02-28 07:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by hanntastic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was having panic attacks and pulling her hair out in big chunks. I took her out in the country, in the middle of nowhere and made her scream the lyrics to korns song "everybody say f*ck that" Then I got her some relaxation tapes to listen to at night. She needed an outlet for her stress but also needed to learn how to self soothe. It worked.
I suggest you rent the movie "13". It will give you real insight to what she is going through, and it will also let you know where she may be headed if something doesn't change.
2007-02-28 07:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My oldest brother went through the same thing from when he was 14 and all the way to 17, gashes deep enough, and ugly enough to keep him from being able to wear short-sleeved shirts since. I've also known several others to resort to self-mutilation as a resort to the pain, stress, and hopelessness of situations. I myself have done it. Usually if its not a one time thing, it can be a huge range of things, from self-worth, sociable failures, a means to cope with stress, a punishment to ones self for being ugly, fat or... well i'm pretty much just restating what i've already said.
I've seen people try to do all sorts of things to themselves, and usually its just a general statement of the happiness that person feels. A hobby can redirect this or anything that transfixes her mind away from her situation, but it won't likely work near as well as reassurance from those who are in her circle, or general growth as a person.
-Everyone- i've known that has mutilated themselves has grown out of it as far as I know. Counselling can do as much damage as good it tries to solve, it all depends on how receptive she is to him/her. And pills definitely do not solve much in the way of these things, it might absolve it for a time, but it might replace the growth that she needs.
I didn't offer much in the way of answers, but I hope I helped in some way.
2007-02-28 07:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by brave_glory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by making a appointment for therapy, a counselor can help her out greatly. Continue to show her love and support, listen to her when she need to talk. Good Luck!
2007-02-28 07:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
follow up on that counseling appointment, mom...this is very serious...i will say a prayer for your baby...hang tight, this CAN be overcome! much love, and peace...Tammy H
2007-02-28 07:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋