So when you absolutely know dumping him was the right thing because he couldnt be faithful AND you absolutely know he was bad for you...why is it so hard to move on? I think it's like I am taking his infidelity as rejection and personal failure--like I did something wrong when I know I didnt. I know I am sounding like one of those pathetic women and I have already been scolded up here once for that---but I am just struggling with not obsessing about why did he do it? Does he regret it? What is he thinking? How do I move on???
2007-02-28 06:34:38 · 10 answers · asked by confused in NC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are taking his rejection as a personal failure, just like you said. Almost like it was you who did something wrong to drive him to be a slimeball and let me assure you Honey, that is NOT the case. He cheated on you because he IS a slimeball. And chances are that he would have cheated on you even if you had done everything differently. Kudos to you for breaking up with him over it.
Don't waste one more minute of YOUR life pondering his stupidity!!! Who cares if he regrets it? Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. What does matter is that you are worth more than that chump gave you. Start dating again, or take a break from dating and just hang out with the girls and have fun and forget about ol' What's-his-name...
2007-02-28 06:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥Mrs SSG B♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A) He wasn't worth keeping, he's not worth wasting your time thinking about.
B) You do want to self evaluate what you could have done better, like in picking a man.
C) Yes, there is pain. You do need to acknowledge the pain and go through the greiving process. But you do not need to sit at home in the dark for the next three years...
Go out. Do things that make you happy. If you are happy, other people will see it and will be attracted to you. The sexiest thing a woman can wear is a smile.
Do volunteer work. Will make you feel good about yourself and will get your mind off of this painful experience.
I'm no dr... you should be over it in 6 weeks or less. If it goes on, seek professional help. Remember, your friends & family (should be) your best mental support...
I wish you luck. You did the right thing. You can't find mr Right if you are already with someone...
A~
2007-02-28 06:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP! You're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Trying to justify his bad behavior by blaming it on yourself! Who cares why he did it, if he regrets it, or what he's thinking. HE DID IT. That's all that you need to remember everytime that you think about him. And whose to say that you are going to move on right away... just because he's a complete scumbag, doesn't mean that you hadn't developed feelings for him, right? I mean, sure he cheated, but you obviously liked him because you were with him~ any REAL human being cannot turn off their feelings like a water faucet. Just give it time. The only thing that will heal any type of breakup is time, unless you absolutely were with him for no reason at all, which obviously isn't the case. My point is, stopy trying to blame yourself and justify his bad judgments in your guys' relationship. It's over, you don't have to worry about him hurting you anymore. So stop worrying about why he did hurt you, just remember that he did HURT YOU and move on. No one deserves to be cheated on!!!!!
2007-02-28 06:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well only time will heal. I think its natural for you to feel the way you do. Just remember what goes around comes around. So maybe in the longrun he will realize that he made a big mistake by you. So just try to keep busy and focus on yourself
2007-02-28 06:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never get all the answers to your questions, and when you do get some it will so long after, that it won't matter too much. I am in the same boat, and it just takes time. as for moving on, find something new, that you didn't do with him and or work more.
2007-02-28 06:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same exact situation, what your feeling is normal but you have to remember he may act like he doesn't care that he doesn't have you, but I can guarantee you he totally respcets you for leaving him, he will always regret doing what he did to you and probally won't ever get over you 100%
2007-02-28 06:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by shadegirl15 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.
Breaking up is hard, and dumping someone you don't want to is very hard.
Remember how he made you feel when you found out he cheated on you, that keeps you from breaking down and contacting him.
2007-02-28 06:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it day by day and don't call him and do anything that helps u move on..
2007-02-28 06:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by shorty21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to stay busy.N 4get about that ........who left u without any valid reason, m sure he will never regret coz these kinds of ppl never have any heart.
2007-02-28 06:40:34 · answer #9 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kill him.
2007-02-28 06:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋