any advice for my sister, her 2 sons (aged 11 and 12) are always fighting, sometimes really bad fight, they just broke the door by one locking the other one out and him kicking it in! my sister tryed talking all their stuff off them, there tv,psp,computer. they don't do it when there dad is home.my sister at breaking point with them, she also live in germany so it not like i can just drive over and help her! any advise pls, thanks
2007-02-28 06:25:11 · 11 answers · asked by ral 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if they have separate bedrooms make them sit in them all day and only come out for meals, take all fuses out of all electric goods so they cant do any thing and tell them it will stay like that until they can get on, no matter how bored they get, hopefully after a day or two of been lonely they should realise having a brother isn't so bad.
2007-02-28 06:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boys are at that funny age any way, and because their ages are so close the problem is worse. Your sister needs to nip this in the bud now or soon the boys will be too big for her to intervene in their fights without getting hurt.
They need to learn to respect their mother. their father should support her in this.
The boys may need more space, more time away from each other. If they have different interests perhaps they could be encouraged to join some clubs for recreation away from each other.
I hope it works out !!!!
2007-02-28 14:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try the reverse affect called positive reinforcement. Have ur sister list 3 things she wants her kids to do (no fighting, homework, chores) then attach reasonable goals like no fighting for a week. if this can be done they get a reward that the family can talk about at the end of the week.
It works for my clients but there are many other interventions that can be used as well.
Good luck
2007-02-28 14:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by stewiegrif27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that the sons do NOT respect their mother what so ever. That is when the dad comes in to talk to these two out of control sons of theirs, and tells them that if they don't straighten up, they will be grounded and not have any type of electronic device to use. He needs to make it clear to them and stand his ground. Your sister and her husband need to not give in to them, they also need to let the sons know that they mean business.
There is no use to yell at them just to get her point across. She needs to hold her ground and not give in to them. Boys are going to quarrel with each other, but they should know how to stop by themselves. They seems like they are out of control and that the parents are not laying out some good discipline on them.
Their father needs to talk to the both of them with his wife being there and he needs to ask them by pointing out to his wife and tell them, "you see this women, she is my wife, and you need to respect her. If you do not respect her, then that means you don't respect me." He should then have them say to him that they will respect their mother when he is gone, they should do what she says to do, and they should love one another and get along. The father should have his sons go and hug their mother and apologize for they way they have been acting.
And see what happens after that. Otherwise, if the father, the head of the home, doesn't do anything to get their attention and mean business with them.....these boys will be another statistic with a long criminal record. And I am sure the parents wouldn't want that to happen.
I hope this helps. I should know this, I have 3 sons ages 14, 16, and 23. We did this with them and now they respect each other and respect us as parents. They need to spend more time with them as well. (smile)
2007-02-28 14:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister needs to get tough with them the reason why they dont fight around their dad is beacuse they are intimidated by him. i would first start by talking to them about how life would be like without a brother. then she should punish them instead of just talking things away. like ground them and keep them apart for a few days and make them miss each other and keep them away from their friends and lock them in their rooms.
2007-02-28 14:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by LAINA LOU 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to put her feet down and let the kids know who's boss and thats "mom".. the kids have no respect.. they need a too know that when mom say "stop" or something along the line that she mean business.. tell her to set it up.. she has to realize that in order that get through to the two boys she has to serious when punishing one or the both of them..
2007-02-28 14:35:21 · answer #6 · answered by Breaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should take away the one thing they like....remove all sources of entertainment...ground them until they start behaving and if it goes on...she'll have to go to extremities...lock them up in their room until they start crying to get out and make peace..and make sure their daddy is around more often...and their daddy should be more strict and disciplined with them
2007-02-28 14:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it and don't get involved! I understand that you want to help your sister with her two sons, but this is something that she has to deal with herself! Besides, its up to your sister on how she can discipline her two children!
2007-02-28 14:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
why do they respect their dad and not your sister? Set limits and if they go beond them make sure they remember it for the rest of thier lives.
2007-02-28 14:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by poom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you could take your sis to new york for the weekend and have some girly time. leave her hubby to have the boys for a while and see how bad they are
2007-02-28 14:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by A R 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋