I am 36y/o white male (unnecessary info really), divorced, father of one. Im attractive and fit. I have never had a female **** buddy... aka friend with benefits. They have always turned into relationships. How do I ask someone to be my special pal? This sounds so weak but Ive never done this b4. Im very busy, and emotionally not ready for a relationship. I have thought about... gulp... escort... but cant bring myself to do it. I have noone in mind but I dont want to cause any damage to myself nor anyone eles by getting into another relationship.Serious answers only please.
2007-02-28 06:21:37 · 29 answers · asked by Surrendered 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think maybe you should take a break from relationships and think for a while, not sure getting into a sex only relationship is ever a good idea for your health or mind.
2007-02-28 06:28:13 · answer #1 · answered by wildremedies 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok, well i am thinking you don't ask these things because then you will look like a loser or dirty guy, ya know? i think you have to just let it happen, kind of like, maybe you are interested in a woman, and i am sure with the way you described yourself, she will be interested in you, and ya know, you get to talking, and maybe a little flirting, and the point is, at your age, assuming that she is around your age, she probably will be more than willing to take it to the next level, without asking about where this is going first. ya know>? so you have your fun and intimacy, and then maybe she will ask you later. another take on that is that maybe you get to know each other so well to the point where you have both already established the fact that you don't want a relationship, but you both acknowledge the fact that you are attracted to each other which you know it's not only men, sometimes women don't want a relationship either. I actually ended up with my husband, by BFF. you never know.
2007-02-28 06:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have a friend with benefits you have to be sure that both parties involved understand that there’s to be nothing more than just that. You have to be open and honest with that person up front about what you want and what you don’t want. Just let them know that at this time you’re not ready for anything serious. You just want to spend time with her going to dinner, movies, occasional shopping and perhaps something sexual if it comes to that. You can’t just assume that the person will know what you want. You have to give her the opportunity to agree or disagree with the terms of the relationship. If you approach the whole friends with benefits right and for the right reasons you shouldn’t have any problems. Be sure though that you understand that because she’s your friend with benefits that doesn’t necessarily stop her from seeing other people and searching for a more serious relationship in the meantime.
2007-02-28 06:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only issue with this my friend is the majority of humans are unable to have unemotional detached sex and keep that frame of mind. Your best bet would to be very open and honest with any women you fancy so to speak. DO NOT throw the f.b. thing at them the first date. On the first date i would explain how busy of a person you are and that you are looking for a mature, independent women, who is just as busy as you: that is also looking for someone to do things with dinner, movies, social events where having a date looks better and have relations with( running out of ways to say sex but bottom line casual intimate sex without any ideas of commitment). then go from there and make sure they understand that right now nor in the near future are you looking fro your next wife. REMEMBER women are more emotional then men it will take a special women to fill the role you are looking for! GOOD lUCK
2007-02-28 06:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by jessica s 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aw, come on, do you really want to do that? If you want to do the F'buddy thing, just go to any bar with your buddies, make it known that's all you're looking for and within at least 3-4 hours you'll have a woman that's willing. But, honestly, why not just work on yourself for a few months and then try dating someone instead of the F'buddy thing. It's very tacky. And, the woman you meet after your fling is over may take away some of your cool points for doing it.
2007-02-28 06:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well when I was younger I had a friend with benefits. He was my first love and we still talk every now and then(16 years later). Most importantly we have a friendship. Find a woman who you like but isn't wanting a relationship but is up for a benefits package. lol. I have thought about it but the 2 guys I have brought it up to for some reason think I am crazy. I think a friend with benefits is great. I would also suggest a toy at least satisy your personal needs. lol. Best of luck.
2007-02-28 06:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to have a specific "friend with benefits" just because you want to have no-strings-attached sex. Just start going out! Go to a bar; flirt; buy a girl who flirts back a drink; invite her over when the bars close; (if she accepts) then sleep with her. Repeat as often as you like. This doesn't have to take all night either (you mentioned that you're busy), especially if you are attractive and/or you know the bars to go to. I don't know where you live, but odds are that hundreds of non-couples are meeting and hooking up every single night.
There are many women who don't want a relationship either. They are not going to formally invite you to be their sex buddy. They will just "hook up" with you if/when you make the opportunity available.
2007-02-28 06:40:40 · answer #7 · answered by lizzgeorge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well those types of friends someone always gets hurt. One person always thinks it will be more. However if you lay the rules down and have a "relationship" that is stricktly for this and only this it migth work but there is no hanging out other then at those needy moments and they should never meet the friends keep it on the down low, almost a secret friend if you will
2007-02-28 06:25:21 · answer #8 · answered by Varacha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok here goes, It is hard to move forward and getting a call girl or what ever you want to call her is not going to help you heal and be ready when the right person does come along. You need to take the time to let yourself heal from your past relationship. Taking unhealed issues in to another relationship is only going to make matters worse, Take it from me I am dating someone who was married for over 20 years and we have been togerher for over 2 years and he still will not commit as he does not want to get hurt again, so unfair to me
2007-02-28 06:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by INVOLVED/CONFUSED 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to take your time an find u someone that's on the same page ur on,u know someone that doesn't want a serious relationship.when u meet a lady let her know what ur lookin for that way it won't be any mis-understanding,that way she has the option to choose if she wanna get down or not. some men do lead women on{not all but there are some that do}
2007-02-28 06:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by ladyowenslmg_06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋