My three year old is obsessed with death!?

Question

About six months ago, my daughter (than two) witnessed a man have a heart attack and break his head open on the pavement. Ever since then, she has been obsessed with death and killing. She asks alot of questions and I try to answer them the best way I can- I guess in efforts to ease her mind. When she plays with her dolls, usually one doll is dying and the other doll is trying to save her. She has told me she wants to be a doctor to "save people" and when ever we go to our doctor's she always thinks someone is dyingin the next room. I highly doubt this is normal behavior and I think she was very much effected by witnessing the man have the heart attack. But I dont know what to do. Should I worry about this?

Answer 1

My son was 3 when 9/11 happened and the sitter had the TV on too much. She did not realize how much our son picked up. For a couple of years after he had all of these questions on death and was petrified we’d have a fire in the house. We just kept talking to him honestly and as clearly as possible for his age. Now he's 9 and doing all the normal 9 yr old stuff.

We lost my mother in 2004 and my grandfather in 2006, now our daughter (3 1/2) is asking many questions on death.

That event defiantly has had an effect on your daughter, and I'm no doctor, but I don't think this will 'scar' her forever. When she goes to the doctor and thinks someone is dying in the next room, explain to her that such sick people would be in the hospital with many more doctors and nurses to help them get better.

If she has trouble with going to sleep or staying asleep (outside of her norms) and is not hungry much of the time or is angry or sad much of the time - she needs help from a counselor.

Otherwise kids are VERY resilient and amazingly bounce back with hugs, kisses and conversation.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

I'd say it's a normal reaction to what she was witness to. Little kids that don't see someone die can still be curious and anxious about death as well. My kids asked a ton of questions about it too. I thought that is why goldfish existed - to teach little kids about death. Your daughter got a lot more than a goldfish!! Let her ask all the questions she wants. It's best to let it out.
My son and daughter felt a lot better when I told them that they'd be cared for by their aunt and uncle if anything happend to me or their Dad. That's part of the anxiety - who will care for them - they do realize that they are quite dependant.
Death and bad news are all over the TV news shows and newspapers- it's just a part of living.

Answer 3

It more normal than you think. Death is part of life, she witnessed it earlier than some people but its not damaging. Keep reassuring her and talk openly and honestly about the fact that some people die. Sometimes they get sick, but most people don't die until they are really old. Tell her that she doesn't have to worry about it but understand that she will have to accept it as part of life. Talk with her about the man she saw, ask her about her feelings and tell her what happened. Have her talk to her doctor about it, or a psychologist etc wearing a lab coat so that she hears about death from other people too. Your daughter sounds very bright and I bet she will be fine.
My son was with me when we arrived home to find my husband's best friend had hung himself from our tree. He watched as I tried to administer CPR but it was too late and he watched the ambulance take our friend away. I was horrified, I took him straight to a therapist hoping to help him. The therapist told me that death isn't creepy for little kids, they really just accept it. They fear that they will die or that their loved ones will die, but they don't get the horror-movie eeby-jeebies that we do. Reassure her that she will not die for a long time(you can't know that but she needs to hear it) and that her loved ones will not die for a long time. Reassure her that she will not lose her family and friends and she will be able to move on.

Answer 4

well you can always speak to her pediatrician about this and mabye your pediatrician can steer you in the right direction as to possibly having your daughter see a therapist.

Good Luck.

At her age that man having a heart attack was definitely not good. It would be hard on anyone to wittness and especially a 3 year old.

Answer 5

wow i guess that situation deeply affected your child, just tell her about how great you think it is to save people and that death isn't always there. that babies are being born and new life starts too.. switch up the conversation to how life begins.. how beautiful life is and how flowers grow. think about also things that don't die so she can't come back to it

Answer 6

poor little girl. what a terrible thing to witness. it sounds somewhat normal to me the way she is playing though u could always seek out a child therapist who could do play therapy with her. i would continue reasurring her let her play the way she needs to. it is how little kids work things out.

Answer 7

if you are that worried talk to her pediatrician i really think she will out grow it. thats very traumatic for her and she may have post traumatic stress disorder. shell be fine! youre a great parent

Answer 8

try taking her to a psychiatrist that must be very hard for an adult to see no less a little baby like yours. they may help her get over that trauma!!!

Answer 9

IT WAS A SHOCK OF SEEING THAT HAPPEN TO THAT MAN ..IS WHAT HAS CAUSED THIS TO HAPPEN TO HER ..I WOULD GET SOME COUNSELLING FOR HER CAUSE DEATH CAN MAKE ANY OF US OBSESSED WITH IT ..I KNOW FROM PAST EXPERIENCES AFTER LOSING A MOTHER AND GRANDPARENTS ..DEATH IS NOT EASY ..GOD BLESS HER AS WELL ..AS GOD BLESS YOU!

Answer 10

hey i used to do the same thing. i grew out of it. dont worry