Right now I am currently pregnant with my boyfriends child and I am 17 and he is the same but, about to turn 18 in may. Now if everything goes smoothly, when I turn 18 in Dec should i Marry him?I plan to keep the child and he wasn't raise to leave a girl pregnant so if he is there when i give birth in november should I?
2007-02-28 06:17:35 · 28 answers · asked by Kiki (Koatic) 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you are insistent on keeping the child, marry him.
It will be tough, and you're both going to have to grow up a lot, but you damn well better for the sake of the child.
Otherwise, the best option is to give the child up for adoption, so that it can be raised in a loving, two-parent home.
2007-02-28 06:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by Guncrazy 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I wouldn't marry just because you are pregnant and it seems like the next logical step. Marriage is definitely not something to rush into. Regardless of whether you have a child together or not. Marriage takes a lot of work and it has its ups and downs. You need to make sure that you are both willing and ready to ride it out together. So many people these days jump ship at the first sign of trouble.
If you are definitely in love with one another, why not get engaged and have a long engagement?
2007-03-01 06:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by totsandtwins04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like me. I was also pregnant at 17 and I had the baby at 18. I ended up marring the father because I thought that was what I should do and he was a reasonable provider. We ended up being together for 15 years total. We had a few good times, but most of it was miserable for both of us. We were not really compatible and not truly in love (although we did like and respect each other).
Please don't marry just for the baby. He can still be the father. You don't have to be married for that. Get married only if he is the right man for you.
2007-02-28 06:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by magicmunchkins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer that but you. Do you WANT to be married? Getting pregnant does not mean you have to get married. Its 2007. I got pregnant at 18, and felt like we should get married (we were already engaged), so we did. I had a miscarriage 2 months later and then I regretted getting married. It didnt last very long and it was a complete waste of my time. I am actually embarassed to say I was married back then.
I would say no. You dont need a piece of paper to have a relationship and be parents. Its more of a hassle to get divorced than to just break-up. Since the divorce rate is half of marriages, why put yourself or your child through it if you can prevent it now?
2007-02-28 06:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by banderson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow it's like you aren't very sure about his commitment by saying "if" he's still around.
If you truly loved him you wouldn't be second guessing yourself and he would propose to you. Anyways, the biggest mistake couples make is deciding on a life changing decision for all the wrong reasons!
I've been with my fiance for 6 yrs and were about to have our second baby in April. We wanted to get married before this baby is born but it isn't working out that way. We have been together for so long i feel as if he already is my husband.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you have already gotten pregnant before marriage so what's the rush? If he loves you he'll be there regardless and ask you to be his wife. Don't do it just because.
Only you know if your ready and having a child with someone doesn't always mean that you are.
2007-02-28 06:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry this guy than you should but I recommend waiting a little while. You can put him on the birth certificate give you baby eaither last name whatever. My friends did that exact same thing for the exact same reasons and 8 yrs later they are still married but they don't love each other, they do it for their child. They even see other people on the side. I believe in a family for a child but not like that, so PLEASE be sure you love your man before you take this step, a baby and marriage in the same year is very very very hard.
2007-02-28 08:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister-in-law got pregnant at 17, got married the Saturday after she turned 18, and was divorced by 19. They got so bitter toward each other after they divorced that they have trouble doing what's best for their daughter. I have to wonder if things would at least have been a little easier for everyone if they hadn't gotten married. They may not have stayed together, but they may have been able to stay friends. I guess that would be a no.
2007-02-28 12:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you shoudn't get married just because you are pregnant with his baby. Marriage is about love, and trust. This is entirely your decision, so you should do whatever you think would be best for yourself, and the baby as well. Being a single mother would be better than being married for like 5 or 6 years, and then divorcing one another, leaving the child confused (just lookin at the possibilities). It's entirely whatever you feel best about doing....your body, your life, your child.... good luck, and best wishes!!!:)
2007-02-28 08:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Me_Myself_&_I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pregnancy and then marriage are rarely life partners. we think that as soon as we are told that we are pregnant that marriage should automatically follow. I had to learn the hard way 30 years ago when we girls didn't have a choice that it shouldn't. The best advice any one can give you- Have your baby, love with all your heart, work on being the best parents you both can be, respect each other and everything will fall into place. make an educated choice not a hasty one. You have plenty of time.
2007-02-28 06:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by tnf 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your question about marrying him IF he is still there in november makes me think your relationship is not real solid and therefore i don't think you should get married. take it one day at a time and see how your relationship goes after the baby is born. your relationship WILL change after the baby is born. maybe better,maybe worse, only then you will know what to do. good luck. i am sure you know you will be missing out on alot of things kids your age will be doing so i won't go there but i will say it is not the end of the world by any means. facing a teen pregnancy is far better than facing teen drug addictions or aids and alot of other life threatening issues.
2007-02-28 06:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I wouldn't recommend anyone to get married because of a child. Now if he really loves you and you love him then think about this. Would you get married if you weren't pregnant? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We have 2 kids together and he is helping me raise my daughter. So we have 3 kids. We don't need a piece of paper to tell us that we love each other. We stay together because we love each other not for the kids. Good luck!
2007-02-28 06:26:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋