Has anyone else out there lost a parent to cancer? If so how did you deal with it?

Answer 1

I lost my mother to cancer 8 years ago and I still miss her very much. I got a notebook and wrote down all the things I could remember about my Mom. All the great things she taught me and all the times I knew I had hurt her. All the time we laughed together and all the times we cried. I am a believer in Jesus and so was my Mom so I knew that she was a lot better off now. My Mom was a crippled lady all my life and it caused movement on the right side of her body. After she died was the first time I had ever seen my Mom still.
I hope this helps you in some way. I will never stop missing my Mom, but, I would not want her to come back and have to go through all that pain again.

Answer 2

My father died of lung cancer in 2006. From the time of his diagnosis until he passed was a year and a half. During that time, he finished writing his 3rd book and delivered a paper in Europe, right after a full round of chemotherapy and radiation.

During his whole illness, he never gave up or gave in to the illness. We continually brainstormed on things he could try, and he tried all he could, with what knowledge we had. He never once felt sorry for himself, so he didn't leave the door open for us to feel that way about him. We talked to him almost every day. He was 75, but he still worked right up until the day he died. He finally agreed to go into the hospital on a Friday, and was still working on a paper in the hospital. He died the following Wednesday, due to the spread of the cancer to his liver, and his kidneys shutting down.

He lived his life to the fullest, before the diagnosis and especially after the diagnosis. He gave all the people who adored him a gift, by making us able to see that every moment you are alive, is a moment stolen from eternity.

While he was still alive, he learned forgiveness. He forgave the people who had hurt him, and he asked for forgiveness from the people he'd hurt. He didn't want to go, because he still had so much to do, and that is the part I grieve the most, but as for being able to deal with it - he showed us, by example, that if you're here - you gotta keep on truckin' and that's what we've done. It doesn't mean that we aren't hurting, but we are also in awe of this magnificent person, who showed us a way that we would not have known.

Answer 3

Yes. My beloved grandmother died of cancer a few years ago, it seem like it all happened so fast. In terms of dealing with it I am still dealing with it but it gets easier everyday. If I learned anything from my granny it was to live life to the fullest, and I guess that is my motivation!!! I just say thank God for the memories because I can share those with my children someday.

Answer 4

I lost my father in 1989 to inoperable brain cancer after a long fight. He had radiation treatments and chemo, and I watched him fall apart more and more every day. It started with a skin cancer on his arm, which they operated on and removed, then it metastasized into his lungs, and they removed 80% of one of them, then it appeared in his brain. All this happened over about a 5 year peiod. It is so very hard. I still miss him to this day, and still think to myself that I will turn around and see him somewhere doing the things that he loved...

If you are the child of a parent going through this, my heart is bleeding for you. You have a hard road ahead of you, but I am praying with all of my heart that everything works out for your parent. Have faith, and be strong for them, as they have been for you throughout your whole life.

Answer 5

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I lost my father in 1985 (age 55) to pancreatic cancer. It was very difficult, because he was always healthy, and it was totally unexpected. I was 23 and expected him to be around for a very long time. It was very difficult watching him deteriorate, things got bad much faster than we expected, and although I don't think he had much pain, he had to be suffering mentally. He had a stroke 2 weeks before he died and was paralyzed on one side and couldn't speak, but he had his full mental faculties. No one actually told him he was terminal, but he knew, and his last full day was the hardest. The whole thing was very upsetting.

My mother got breast cancer before my father, in 1984, but it took 20 years to kill her, Other than various cancer surgeries, she lived a normal life until she needed chemotherapy 5-6 months before she died. Her dying was very difficult also, but I think the fact that my mother was so strong mentally made things a little easier. She knew she was dying and admitted she was a little scared, but she handled it a lot better than most people would. She spent her last month in the hospice and on oxygen, but for the most part had no pain. Maybe also that she was 73 and lived almost a full life also helped, but it was still very upsetting.

In some ways my mother's death was worse for me, because at least after my father died, I still had my mother to talk to, now there is no one. Yes, I have my brother and his family and I'm very close to them, but it's not the same. There is no one "above" me in my very immediate family, since I am the older brother.

Answer 6

Hi, I lost my mum to cancer. She was diagnosed with bowel/liver cancer on Dec 2004. We live in Gibraltar and here there arn't any oncologists so my mum was sent to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London for chemo every 3 weeks.I accompanied my mother every single time leaving my 4 kids with my husband, my mum needed me more than ever. I knew that when everything was over I would have all the time in the world to be with my kids and husband. We all knew from the beginning that my mums cancer was terminal. My mother was a tremendously strong person always keeping positive for us. When she had 4 chemos she was told that the tumors of the liver had began to shrink so she was offered 4 more chemos but this time the news was not good, this time it had not worked, she was offered a stronger chemo which she started to take weekly but she did not recover from one when it was time to take the other so my mum decided to stop chemo, the time she had to live she wanted to live without treatment just taking pain killers, she needed morphine as she was in pain. It was so hard watching my mother fading away, especially as she was such a strong person. It broke my heart. Two weeks before passing away she was admitted to hospital as she fainted at home, from there on she went down hill. I stayed in hospital day and night with her, I could not go home as she was calling me when she could not see me in her room, I had to be there, my mum needed me. Sadly my mum passed away on 27 May 2006 at the age of 60. I miss her so much.On September 2006 my eldest son started Uni this was my mums dream and my second son has joined the army. On his first day it was so sad not having my mum here to see him in his uniform, she would have been really proud of him. I have had a hysterectomy 3 months ago and this time it was me that needed my mum.I am answering your question and can't stop crying but what comforts me a little is knowing that she is not suffering any more and that she is in a better place.I did all I could to help my mum and I am sure she is watching me from the kingdom of heaven.

Answer 7

I lost my mother to breast cancer. I dealt with it by realizing that she no longer was in pain, but she was in a better place and that one day I will see her again. I still miss her though after thirteen years!

Answer 8

"Plexed" Thank you for those encouraging words, we lost our dad this year Jan.3,2007 to cancer in the lymp node (stomach)
dad was 72 years old would have made 73 march 16. dad was not ready to leave neither. he had been sick since Feb.2006
his mine was so alert until the day of his passing i still grieve
it like a chain or link has been broken. he left behind my mom of
53 years marriage and 8 children host of grands and great grand
Thank you.

Answer 9

JUST THIS PAST JANUARY 25, 2007 I LOST MY MOTHER TO OVARIAN CANCER.SHE WAS ONLY 51 YRS OLD. I HAD A HARD TIME DEALING WITH IT. BUT THEN I CAME TO REALIZE THAT SHE IS NO LONGER IN PAIN AND HAVING TO SUFFER THE WAY THAT SHE DID.IT IS STILL HARD AT TIMES........... BUT IM TRYING TO HANG IN THERE AND JUST KEEP HER MEMORY ALIVE..............ITS THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN DO
BECAUSE IF I COULD BRING HER BACK PAIN FREE.......... I WOULD!!!!!

Answer 10

HI THERE..ON NOVEMBER 10, 2003 MY MOM PASSED AWAY WITH CANCER ..SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITALS PLUS A NURSING HOME ALL TOGETHER 2 WEEKS , AND SHE PASSED AWAY..THE MORNING I CALLED HER AT THE NURSING HOME ..SHE WAS TOO SICK BUT WAS STRUGGLING TO REACH OUT TO GET THE PHONE TO TALK TO ME ..BUT UNFORTUNATELY THAT CONVERSATION NEVER TOOK PLACE ..I KNOW SHE IS IN "HEAVEN" AND SHE IS AT PEACE ..BUT IT IS A STRUGGLE EVERY DAY ..CAUSE SHE WAS MY ROCK AND SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND ..I LOVE MY MOM AND AND HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY WE WILL REJOIN AGAIN AND MEET UP AND I HOPE SHE IS AT THE "GATES OF HEAVEN " WAITING FOR ME ..GOD BLESS YOU !