Ok....he kisses terribly, and I mean TERRIBLE. Sloppy, wet, the tongue getting shoved down my throat....... I am not exagerating. But he is the nicest man - lots of good qualities, so I keep seeing him. Then we slept together......sweet mother of God, it was by far the worst, fastest sex I have ever had in my life. We are both 33 so it's not like we are kids or anything....is there anyway to fix this? How do you let someone know without hurting their feelings and has anyone had to deal with this before - either had to tell someone or been told. I like him and the only thing wrong is the sex/kissing which I know, there is more to life but give me a break!
2007-02-28 06:03:56 · 10 answers · asked by Clarissa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes.....I like him ALOT. I have known him for 5 years - we were both married to other people and now that we are both single, we started seeing each other. He is handsome, great with kids, hard worker.....lives 1 1/2 hr away so I don't see him all the time but there may come a point when he will live closer. My big thing is this is a grown man - how do I coach him without revealing he sucks? Men and their pride is such a huge thing.....I, too, would love it if some guys could answer this - thanks.
2007-02-28 06:15:20 · update #1
Sorry....forgot to say that his ex is now a lesbian and I don't think he had a great deal of experience before her..... so maybe she was never into it, I don't know.
2007-02-28 06:17:26 · update #2
Just tell him that you need to start slower and build up - that way you can make it sound like its about what you want - not about what he is doing wrong. Take the lead and slow him down - work on tenderness. He might have some anxiety in light of his previous relationship. Talk - but let him know that you care, touch when you talk, look into his eyes in a loving way.
2007-02-28 06:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by confused (again) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since your both adults tell him that you would like to try something different with him. Then explain that each of you has learned kissing by dating others (marriages if there was one) and you like kissing in a certain way. Ask if you can show him. (I cannot think of any man that would say 'no'). Explain that he simply has to let you be the Teacher and lead while he is the student. Explain that you prefer going slowly not only in kissing but in love making.
The chances are that he rushes because he never had a good sex partner. Boys learned to rush when they were masturbating and wanted to finish before someone walked in and caught them. Some guys never changed.
ps...Thanks God that I had a Mrs Robinson when I was 19 and she in her 40's.
2007-02-28 06:14:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i had a horrible kisser it felt like a sloppy smake whiipin in my mouth i almost choked on his tounge
so what i did was i said let me kiss you and you cant do anything just let me kiss you and you follow what i do
it worked very well he learned really fast
i called it the do as i do game so i didnt have to tell him out right that he sucked but he got the point
and now we have a new game where i kiss him and he cant kiss me back and it really gets him going but only if you do the right moves lol
good luck girly
2007-02-28 06:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him and explain that you like to kiss in a less slobbering way that you would like to keep seeing him but that you would like to work on the way your kissing and sex life is heading in, that you need to practice different and more meaningful ways, suggest watching a movie and getting some input and learning from that or just practicing, go slow. If he likes you he will want to please you and work with you he might think you like it and that he is doing things the way you like it, he might not know any other way. Talk it is the best way to get to know and learn what 2 people like and want. Good Luck.
2007-02-28 06:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Tigerluvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you kiss, show him how you like to be kissed...if you decide to have sex again, show him how you like it.
COMMUNICATION, Communication, communication...without that, a necessary part of a successful relationship foundation is missing. If you are close enough to be having sex, you are close enough to talk about what you each like and dislike, and now to make the experiences more pleasureable for both of you.
If he takes offense or isn't willing to adapt his style, then perhaps he's not a good long-term match for you.
2007-02-28 06:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Though he's 33, he may still be fairly inexperienced. He just needs a little training. Just work with him, he'll get better the more confortable he gets. If he gets too sloppy with kissing, say, "hold on, a little slower" coach him and say that's how you like it. He'll get better, you can teach him. Sounds like he's worth the effort and patience.
2007-02-28 06:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said he's a nice man, but do you like him a LOT?
If so, tell him what you like. There is more to life, but this is a big part of life also. Some guys need to answer this one.
2007-02-28 06:11:58 · answer #7 · answered by MST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Outside the bedroom tell him that you have a serious matter that you need to discuss. Tell him all his good qualities then tell him that he needs to improve his kissing and bedroom habits. Be gentle and understanding if he gets upset. When he is okay with what you are saying teach him how you like it.
2007-02-28 06:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy some Better Sex videos and ask if he'll watch them with you.
2007-02-28 06:10:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...
my advice: give him link to this site in an e-mail and wait... wait for hes reply
2007-02-28 06:07:37 · answer #10 · answered by hans 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋