I am the matron of honor in my sister's wedding. She also wants my 4year old daughter to be a flower girl and my 7year old son to be a miniature groom. Who should pay for what from attire to accessories including flower basket and such. We are on a tight budget which she knows. Her and her fiance bring in at least triple the income we do. I don't think she's considering it. I guess that's the main reason I'm asking. Thank you.
2007-02-28 05:04:50 · 14 answers · asked by malibu4s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thank you for all your great answers. I would like to add that my sister is very particular and has expensive taste. She is also quick to take offense to most anything I say to her. Oil and water actually. I did try to give her an easy out for having me in the wedding. I figured at least she would have the kids as she really wanted. But she insisted on me being the MOH.
2007-02-28 05:25:50 · update #1
My daughter and son were just in my brother's wedidng. I'm a SAHM so our budget is tight too. And although I wasn't in the weddnig party, I needed an appropriate dress for the wedding as well - of which I did not own.
What we did is that we set a budget we were comfortable with and that I felt I could find an appropriate flower girl dress & suit for. The agreement was if the bride or my mother wanted a different dress than I could afford, they would pay the difference.
I wasy able to buy my son an ADORABLE black suite at Kohls. Had been $80 so it wasn't a cheap suit, but I got it right before the holidays so it was on sale, then used a coupon. Paid $28.00! YEAA
Then I also found my daughter's dress at a department store for $45.00. I little more than I had wanted to pay...but within my budget since I had gotten such a good deal on the suit. With Easter and First Communion's coming up there are a lot of dresses that would look great, but still within budget. It doesn't have to come from a bridal shop to look amazing in a wedding.
There is also a site that rents children's clothing - I had considered that if I wasn't able to find something: http://gagas.com/
And I also found some great inexpnesive flower girl dresses that I had as a Plan B too. Pink Princess had some for as low as $30.00 http://www.pinkprincess.com/
girlsdresses.com : http://www.girlsdresses.com/index.php
so sweet boutique: http://www.sosweetboutique.com/store/default.asp
Just do a search for "cheap flower girl dresses" or "discount flower girl dresses"
Good Luck
PS You could do the same for your gown. Give your sister a budget that you can afford and tell her that is all you can do - if she wants you to spend more than that, she'll have to help you out with the rest. The good news is as MOH, your dress could be different as long as it worked witht he maid's dresses.
2007-02-28 05:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is easy! Your sister should pay for the flower basket but you are responsible for paying for your daughter's dress and your son's suit/tux (and any clothes accessories or jewelry) However, this is your sister, who admittedly makes triple your income, tell her you'd love for the children to take part in her wedding but with your dress and MOH responsibilities, not to mention your financial limits, you are finding it difficult to meet the demands of their participation. Ask her to consider supplying the tux - which if she rents it from the same place the groom and his men are getting theirs, you'll get a huge savings - or ask her to completely cover the expense for at least the kid's clothing. If she says no or is unwilling, you can rent vs. buy the tux and even the dress. However, you can get a really cute dress right now (Easter season) at say Value City or even Wal-mart. If your sister has a particular dress she wants your daughter to wear, she should definitely absorb the cost for it. Good luck.
2007-02-28 13:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the thing. If your sister and her fiance wants to have her niece and nephew in the wedding, knowing that one of her paychecks is more than about 3 or 4 of yours, then I would think she would have to pay if she really want your kids to be in the wedding. I mean, do your kids know what a wedding is all about? Do they care or not that they might or might not be in the wedding? Do you think they would rather be somewhere else then at their aunt's wedding? If one of these answers is a 'Yes', then if they do not want to pay for their outfits, knowing you are on a tight budget and she has enough money to afford it (or, you can have it where that you can split the cost 50-50, if you think that would be fair), then, you can tell her that your kids will not be in the wedding, make a play date for them and let her find someone else to fill in the void.
Because, if she doesnot pay for it even though she can well afoord it, then, why bother? Your kids won't be bored, you can keep that extra money for things that are important, rent/mortgage, light, gas, electric, cable, food, childrens' expenses, you know, the things that people need to pay once a month to live.
I hope this information helped you out.
2007-02-28 13:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are expected to pick up the costs of everyone's attire, but the couple usually buys the flower girl basket, petals, and the ring cushion. Sometimes, the mother is allowed to pick out the flower girl dress so it's more cost effective, but this is rare. And even though they make 3x what you do, remember that the whole wedding will cost much more than 3x what you have to buy.
But if cost is really an issue, tell your sister straightaway that you think the costs of all three of you to be in the wedding are too much for you to handle. Hopefully, she'll suggest pitching in, but if not, I think you should take the kids out of the wedding.
2007-02-28 13:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, the bride and groom pay for the flowergirl's and the ring bearer's outfits and accessories. However, this is not always the case now-a-days. Now, it's usually a gift and the accessories that they get, not the outfit. If you are truely worried, talk with them about your financial situation and hopefully, they'll understand and at least offer to pay for part of it.
2007-02-28 13:16:16 · answer #5 · answered by Yoyo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses then you would have to cover your daughters. Same for your son if the groomsmen are paying for their own tux. The brides parents or bride covers all flowers including flower basket which most florists throw in for free.
Personally I believe you should talk to your sister and let her know you are not so well off financially. She may decide to cover everything in that case as my sister in law did.
2007-02-28 13:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by bvtc6677 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
3 people from your family in a wedding sucks.... That's a lot of clothing to buy....
Honestly, I think you pay for the clothes. Maybe explain to your sister you can't afford everything and maybe she can help. Othewise, I would ask her to find another flowergirl and groomsman. That's just too much money on an outfit your kids will grow out of quicker than you can blink.
2007-02-28 13:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by Sarasvah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pay for your dress, shoes, accessories, same with the flower girl, and the tux rental for your son. The bride would pay for the flower basket and ring pillow.
2007-02-28 16:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm.....traditionally you pay for the attire. The flower basket is her responsibility. Now, if she is not considering helping you maybe you can find reasonably priced dresses or be frank with her and let her know you can not afford. I am sure she will help and if she doesn't let her know that it may difficult for all of you to participate.
2007-02-28 13:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by sjlova86 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if they know they should pay and u can try to pitch in a little too but they should cover most of the expense is there wedding after all
2007-02-28 13:10:14 · answer #10 · answered by patty l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋