Looking for websites that show you how to budget??

Question

This seems to be a recurring fight with my fiancé. I need to show him how to budget. I have budget myself for years and I owned a home by myself before meeting him. He on the other hand lived in an apartment as as long as he made the rent and had $20 for electricity, he party the rest of his money away. He need his car fixed and new work boots so he charged about $1,000 on my credit card- OK, rough but it was for stuff he had to have. His car has to be fixed so he can get to work and his work boots fell apart- so he had to have new ones. Then I find out he went to a bar with a friend and charged $40.00 and then he played the lottery at work and owed someone $20.......when he's already spend $300 in Vegas because he was out there on a conference and it just keeps going on. And he doesn't understand that he priority and values are out of order. He thinks we have this never ending well of money because we have two salaries but we are trying to fix up a house and pay for a wedding. He's solution to this problem was for me to get lower cover on my car insurance so he doesn't have to change his habits. When I tell him the heating bill is $350 for this month- he solution is to turn off the heat and we'll just wear coats inside the house so he doesn't have to stop going to the bar.
I need websites and books that can help me explain and show him how to budget. I need "proof" to show him how people budget money.
Any links or website or suggestion are greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I recommend getting the Newlywed Handbook from www.thenest.com (sister site of the knot). It has a bunch of info in there on how to deal with this situation. Bottom line, though...he needs to understand money, where it comes from and where it goes...and that you cannot spend more then you have unless you HAVE to...

Answer 2

Setting a budget for newlyweds is essential to start your marriage the right way. Fighting over money is the biggest cause of marriage trouble.

You must see how much you take home pay is.
Then take out the set amounts:

Car note
Insurance
Morgage/rent
Utilities
Credit cards

Then set aside a realistic amout of money for

groceries
gas

See how much is left. After that set aside money for:

Wedding expenses
Entretaiment/vacation
Savings

Lifes is not all about paying bills,. You have to have something set aside to go out and have fun.

Ways to save:
Bag your own lunch
Carpool
use coupons/discounts
Cuy back on Dunkin Donuts and star brewing your own java @ the office
Pay MORE than the minimum payment on you c/c
etc.


Good luck

Answer 3

I don't really think a website will help....best thing that can be done is cut him off. Give him an allowance in cash each week after you have the amount you need to cover the bills--that he can use to do whatever he wants to. Give him no access to your credit card unless its absolute emergency, and then you need to be the one to make the purchase for him. Essentially, you have to handle the money and just not facilitate his partying. he has to learn to live within his means, and by givin him strait cash he can see exactly what he has left to party with and can't go over that...

My finace just fell in love with credit cards a few years before we met and ran up huge debts. It never hit home to him until he started gettin turned down for things like our home loan (we did eventually get one!) a car, etc...then it made him realize their are consequences to those things that you have to live with..we have it paid off now and he is able to stick within his means for the most part! I know what you mean about it all, I'm in the same boat, not to mention the allowance thing is how my mom handles my dad's spending. She knows exactly what they have to have for bills each month and gives him some of the extra money to do his stuff, and doing this has kept them almost debt free for 25 years now! I hope this helps!

Answer 4

You can do any google search for "creating a budget" and "personal budget," and you'll get tons of information you need.

However, I really think that not knowing how to create a budget is NOT his problem. My sister-in-law is just as you describe. It isn't about not knowing how to budget and plan, it's about their values. If he doesn't consider saving money to be a valuable thing, or if he thinks that spending money on the immediate things is more important, then knowing how to create a budget (which exists on paper) won't help at all becaue his day-to-day values contradict what that paper says. It's his value system that needs to change.

For example, let's say that he is one of those people who believes that it is more important to spend money on things that are going on right now. He has $40 in his pocket. He has two options: either save the $40 for house repairs, or spend $40 on drinking with his friends. In his mind, he chooses to drink with the friends because they're here NOW and are therefore more important than the house repairs. He probably also rationalizes that he has plenty of time to save up later. So if he decides that spending money on the NOW is more important than saving for house repairs, then a piece of paper (budget) telling him how to save for house repairs isn't going to make a bit of difference.

Answer 5

A website isn't going to help. You two have very different views of money and how to spend it.

Good luck. You need it, sister.

EDIT: Pink Denial was kind enough to take the time to articulate the same thing I meant by my somewhat glib post. You can lead a horse to water (by showing him how to make a budget), but you can't make him drink (by making him follow the budget he made). No book, no website will make him change unless he wants to change.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Bonehead_Finance/bone4c1e.htm Good luck ;)