could osmeone give me some advice!!!?

Question

my mum has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 2 years back. because she is out of control she has started to comtrol the fmaily and im around most so seem to get the rough end!! i take car eof her quite a lot and its affecting my college a lot. also its put my 14 yold sister off the rails so thats a lot of stress to! and my dad has recently had an affair and all this stress has left me with panick attacks and some emotional probs. i have been offered by the only person i trust to stay with her and she advised me to move colleges to a bigger one as this ones a 6th form and 5 days a week. im just getting too stressed not gettin anywork done as im always doing things in the ohuse and hardly go out!!iv split up woth bf over all the stress.. any advice????? plxzPLZxxvikki

Answer 1

u dont split ,they might help u if they were informed.anyway have faith with nearest one in this situation.hope u overcome all the conditions with your courage and wisdom

Answer 2

You are having such a hard time and probably can't see an end or a way out.

You seriously need some time out to chill and reflect and renew your energy - or you are gonna burn out or do something irrational.

Please try to have some YOU time and someone to get it off your chest to. Even if they have no answers for you - sometimes talking it through makes it clearer in your mind and solutions become apparent.

Noone can advise you because you will always think BUT. You must come to clear decisions yourself but talking it through is sometimes the only way to put the problems into some order and be able to decide on a solution -

Good Luck - my thoughts are with you xx

Answer 3

I've been through a very similar situation when I was younger, I had a lot of pressure and responsibility put on my shoulders when I was 15. I'm now 27 and due to this course my life took I am now working in minimum wage jobs as a result of having no qualifications. What I am trying to say is put yourself first, you have your whole future ahead of you and at your age you should be concentrating on building a good secure future for yourself and not have the burden of your whole family put upon you. Move in with your friend if you genuinley believe this will help and also contact social services to see if they can offer any assistance. Good luck with your problem and I wish you the best for your future.

Answer 4

Being a care giver at such an early age is indeed quite a tramatic situation. It is too bad that your father, who is supposed to be the backbone of the family, has become another emotional burden for you. Adding a younger sister to the dynamics, only adds to the confusion about roles and responsibilities within your family. I commend you for all that you have been doing, yet, most of this is not your responsibility, and, I would seek the assistance of one of your local pastors, for prayer and guidance. There are some public assistance programs that could help you as well. Such as in home care for your mother, someone who could give you need breaks for your caregiver tasks, programs that can assist your family in dealing with what is going on in your home. I would then check with your school counselor. to see what changes can be made to better cope with your situation. Then I would suggest that you sit down with your father, and, tell him to get his act together, and, be the man that he should be. It is his responsibility to care for and see to the needs of his wife, and, not some other woman. And, that he should be assisting you in your role as his daughter, and, not the other way around. As for your sister. Be her sister, and, don't try to be her mother. That's your mother's duty, not yours. She may have limitations, but, she is still your mother. Be frank and honest with her, and, tell her about your concerns. That way you can solve these problems together. Try to regain whatever family structure you can, and, go from there. You may have to consult with a Family Counselor or Social Services Professional. And, I encourage you to do both. I also suggest that you purposely find time for yourself. Tell the other family members, that unless it is an emergency, this time is for me. No Exceptions! And, use that ime to take care of yourself. A bubble bath, reading time, listening to relaxing music, a phone call to a friend, time alone petting the cat or dog, you get the idea. Don't forget to dress up once in a while and get out. There are programs available that will provide a sitter on a regualr basis, just for that purpose. Lastly, don't forget to spend some quiet time alone with your mother. Remember, God loves you, and is on your side. His promise is, " I will never leave you, or, forsake you!".

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 5

oh i am sorry about your situation......you need your education, so is there any way that you can contact a home help or a nurse to come every day to take care of your mother.....you cannot do this on your own...you must get your sister to control herself...she's taking advantage of the whole situation and is doing what the hell she wants because she can right now...so you have to kick her into touch before she goes completely off the rails....(i don't mean ...literally) i mean you have to talk with her and set some ground rules....your mother needs someone professional to help her out so you can have a little bit more freedom and sort your education out, a girl of your age should not be loaded down with all of this stress, it's not healthy....as for your dads affair...this is a matter for your parents...do not get stuck in the middle of it...they have to sort that out themselves..bless you....and good luck

Answer 6

Bless you, what a hard time your having.
Could you take a year out? Maybe this will help with the work load that you are under.
Your friend sounds very supportive, let her help you. Moving away may help as long as your not stressing about what is happening when your not there. Look into getting some home help
Talk to your GP
All the best

Answer 7

I took care of my mom in law last year for 6 months when she was dying of cancer, plus taking care of my 4 kids every day, no one really took them for me to give me a break, my husband was so busy working and upset b/c it was his mom. I was left feeling isolated, depressed, overwhelmed, etc. I still feel not completely right and i just started having panic attacks, so I know it is the most scariest feeling and you're so afraid of having more.

You NEED relief. You need help, you have got to get some help when it comes to your mom, i'm sorry for what you're going through, it is not easy. It may help you to talk to a doctor about the anxiety and go on anti-depressants and an anti-anxiety for when you strart to feel an attack coming on, you take it and it calms you down. Try to look into a caregiver for your mom? That would take a lot of the burden of of you, your dad should be helping more, and if he can't be there, he should pay for a nurse or something. You can't do it alone, you need to have other things like work and school and just time for yourself. You'll be no good to your mom if you don't care for yourself as well. You matter too!!

Answer 8

Hi sweetie i was diagnosed with m.s 15yrs ago and at the time i had four kids aged 15 14 13 and 11 they were all very good and kind and tried very hard to be a huge help to me which they were but like yourself i had a hubby who had drink problems and we had to ask for outside support from social services my biggest worry was that they would take my kids into care but i need nt have worried they put a great care packkage into place for me and my kids and i didnt have to be a burden on my family it is a very difficult time for your mum as the norm is that mums are the backbone of most families and when it gets taken from you it can be very demoralising and distressing for all ,but with the help from social services your gp and a occupational therapist all provided by your gp or social services it should take the burden from you leaving you the time to do your studies and have a life i wish you the very best of good luck with this and most importantly dont be afraid to ask for help its there for you USE it.

Answer 9

i don't think I'm the best person to answer your question but I'd like to suggest a good website you might like to try and that is multiple sclerosis society.

i was diagnosed with MS 3 years ago and i have two daughters of 24 & 22 yrs. when i have relapses it creates so much stress because i become frustrated when i know i cannot do the things i use to i know i am hard on my daughters especially my youngest who lives with me. sometimes i expect so much of them, i do feel awful after but as i say it's because i no what is happening to my body and i have no controll over it and of course i am so scared. from your point you need to talk with people who understand what you are faced with i find this site one of the best try and see.

keep your chin up. Good Luck

Answer 10

i'm sorry to hear that you are having such hardships in what is supposed to be the best years of your life....fact is we can not control the trials that the Lord throws in front of us....but it helps to remember that he never gives you more then you can handle....as far as ways to hep relieve the stress in the house may be you should try to see a therapist of some sort and even try to get your mom in there with you that way you can tell her how you are feeling in a nuetral setting....dont give up!!! work through it and in the end you'll be better for it....keep God in your life and He will bring you through...He always does!!!! good luck and God bless

Answer 11

Multiple sclerosis is one of the hardest diseases for a family to cope with...I am sorry you have to be dealing with it...Look into home care for your mother...You need to continue with your schooling and you and your sister should be able to spend some time with your friends and have a life too...Look into care for your mother and get some support from your father...Your mother is losing any abilities she used to have and its sooo hard on her that she seems more demanding, because she is very limited...she really does not mean, in her heart, to hurt you like she is....