I need advise and please leave out the sarcasm!?

Question

A newly divorced friend says she is attracting men who just want sex. She doesn't want to have a serious relationship with anyone right now, but was hoping that they would want more than just sex. I told her she is putting out the wrong vibe and that is what men are picking up on. Does anyone have any other advise for her? Please only the serious advise.

Answer 1

Your friend sounds like she needs a reality check especially if she wants a guy just to have sex with him, one that is using him and two that is using poor judgement on her part. She needs to leave the guys alone for awhile and focus on more important things, hangout with you more often if that is what she has to do, Some men just want to get women for sex if they can help and sometimes that is not a good thing, and your right she is sending out the wrong vibes, if your friend works then she needs to focus on her work or hobbies if she has any. When she has thought things through about what she is doing and consider having a relationship with a man that will then she will be ready but she is not ready for that right now and needs some space.

Answer 2

First off, as a guy, our point of view is we want sex. So, it might not be a vibe she is putting out, but we just want sex.
There are guys out there who are wanting a serious relationship too, but since she is coming from a divorce, I don't think she is wanting that.
From what I am understanding, your friend is wanting sex, but with the benefits of something more, but nothing like a serious relationship. What she should do is just go out on dates with guys. Have her meet them someplace, and then let them actually be on a date. Then, after a third date, if she is wanting sex, then go for it, but she could make the guy wait for her. Now, she has the option to have a one nighter if she wants to.
It kinda sounds like she isn't sure what she wants, she doesn't want the long term, but doesn't want all these one night stands and be called other things. Her best bet, would probably find a friend with benefits, so they can hook up whenever, but its not a serious relationship. She should just take her time though.

Answer 3

Hold out. Tell her not to give them the impression that they'll get anything from her. If she makes them respect her they'll realize she's not what they think. The jerks'll leave and the good ones will hang around.
The bar is the worst place to find somebody. I don't know if that's where she's going, but don't. Taking up a hobby or a class will be a better way to meet someone who at least has one of the same interests!

Answer 4

They do not need to know she's newly divorced until the 2nd or 3rd date.

Where is she going to meet these men?

Maybe she's hit a bad stretch of road. I think she needs to pull it to the curb, give it a 30 day rest and then see what happens. But, if all she is looking for is some boom boom (As my wife would say)... That is all she's going to attract...

A~

Answer 5

I think you may have something there. Either she's telling them straight away that she is divorced and they are putting 2+2 together and getting 5.

She's got to tell them that she's looking for something..."light"(?) right now; not just to jump in to bed. The right guy will come along...eventually.

Answer 6

She might try meeting men in different settings. Men might have 1 thing on their mind if she's meeting them in a bar, so maybe try volunteering, church, clubs, seminars/events, community events, classes.

Answer 7

Don't go to bars... it is a sex pool.
if you want to meeting new people that are not wanting sex but friendships try church. that is the only non-threating place I can think of.