Ok, theres this girl I am totally besotted with. She has had a lot of crap from men and it has been hard to gain her trust and get her to see I am a nice guy. She is coming round and I get the impression she likes me a little bit. I don't want ro rush in and ask her out but need to completely gain her trust first and try and get her to develop some sort of feelings for me. What kind of compliments can I give her? She is beautiful but I don't want her to think I just want s.e.x. What can I say and do, or not do to get closer to her? I haven't liked anyone else as much as her although I was in a serious relatioship for a decade. She does tell me personal stuff about her past. Is this a good sign? Please reply to this with some good advice.
2007-02-28 03:42:27 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The first three answers are just plain stupid.. Can I have some helpful answers please - this girl means a lot to me...
2007-02-28 03:49:33 · update #1
she thinks of you as a gay brother type give up, sorry im just evil
2007-02-28 03:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by gwoods1210 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well, I am not good with giving advice, but here goes...
If you want to gain her trust, I would say that you need to start being her friend first. It might take a while to go from being a friend to something else, but if you like her a lot, then maybe it is worth it. But I think that she already trusts you on some level, because she is telling you personal things about her past - personaly, I wouldn't share my personal stuff with a person if I didn't trust them.
As for giving compliments: don't give her the abvious compliments she would get everyday. You need to set yourself apart from the other guys she meets. You know, notice the little things about her, and tell her that you've noticed this or that, and it makes her this and that..OR however you want to put.
One thing I would like to say is... make her laugh or smile (no lame jokes) because at the end of the day, when you're in bed, you only remember the things that made you smile that day.
..and, before I forget, just be yourself, because that is who you want her to like, and not some fabricated guy.
Hope this helps...
Best of luck...
/D
P.S. let me know how it goes ;)
2007-02-28 04:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by just_D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope this helps
From the sounds of things for her to be spending time with you and telling you personal things about herself she already likes your company and probably beginning to trust you already. So that is already a good thing. Trust does not build up over night and it sounds like you are on the right direction of gaining this though. At the end of the day a bloke does not have to impress a women with flowers and loads of meals. Just being yourself normally does the trick and sounds like it is otherwise she wouldn't spend her time in your company.
You say that you want to express how you feel to her but not come across as if your just after sex. Well id one: tell her how you feel verbally and not physically. You could also tell her at the same time how you do not just find her attractive physcially and not just after one thing and everything that is good about her. That you like her company and that she means a lot to you. The majority of men and women express how they feel first by kissing and this can scare some people away or give the wrong message. I really would not do this unless she made the first move before telling her how you feel. If and when you tell her how you feel id also emphasis that if friendship is all she wants at this time that this is fine. This is showing that you are not rushing things or pushing her into something she may not want.
This may sound like cheesey advice now but you could also wright down on paper everything that is good about her and why you like her company and why you have fallen in love with her. Not to read this out whilst in front of her but it will try and keep you focused prior to telling her by remembering what you wrote on the paper. Remember you only live once so make the most of what you have with her and good luck.
You can stop reading now if you want but this may help. Iv been with my partner for a couple of years and he told me how he felt about me and due to me having a crap relationship prior to knowing him i said i was not ready for anything serious but it made me aware of how he felt and we were still friends. The more i then thought about it the more i realised my feelings for him and i ended up making the first move by kissing him about a month afterwards so it does work. take care now
2007-02-28 06:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had come out of a bad relationship and got chatting to a guy who seemed genuine and nice on a dating site. We chatted and texted every day for 3 months to gain each others trust as we had both had a crap time. When we did meet we just clicked and we have now been together 2 years. All i can say is just be totally honest with her, let her take the reins and do things at her pace. Be relaxed with her and take things slow and she'll soon see that your not in it just for sex. You sound like a decent gut and I'm sure she knows this too. Keep things simple and when she feels ready she'll let you know. I hope things work out for you and her as she sounds like she deserves a good guy now. Good luck
2007-02-28 03:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she comes to see you and finds you easy to talk to and confide in is a good sign . Just act naturally ,it would be a good idea to go out somewhere and have some fun just Say you have been wanting to get a bit more exercise would she like to go bowling or swimming etc,see how she responds and don't get to heavy talking about feelings at this stage just go out a few times and get closer that way laughter always helps you will see how things are then . Good luck you sound very caring and she will appreciate that x
2007-03-04 00:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by lucy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her tellin you personal stuff is definetlly a good sighn it shows that she trust you and thats the main thing that you want. You dont need to go all shakes spear on the girl and be throwin out compliments all the time think of one once n awhile that you really mean and tell her just so that she knows that you are noticeing. Be ur self cause it sounds lik ur a real cool guy and just listen to her thats all a girl wants is for a guy to actually listen to her.
I wish u tons of luck
2007-02-28 03:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just treat her like a true woman should be treated. Make her feel like she is the only person in your world. You can say something like, "my life was worhless unti I met you, baby" or something similar. Women love that! It is a very good sign when she tells you stuff about her past, especially if it's personal. This means you have become a part of her inner circle. Just tell her stuff around the lines I have described above and you should have no problem.
2007-02-28 03:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by SOS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww you sound like a really nice guy. This girl, whoever she is, is very lucky. There is nothing wrong with occasionally telling her shes attractive. Comment on her being intelligent and different to other girls that should go down well. It works for me any way! Mostly just be straight with her and honest and if you do get what you want try not to f*** it up! Best of luck honey.
2007-02-28 04:01:13 · answer #8 · answered by **Missy** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you'll get her to develop feelings for you, or to acknowledge if she has or does not have any for you, is to let her know you have been thinking about the very same topic.
Ask her out on a date dude, it's not hard. Just ask. She already trusts you so it should be easy. You can show her your not only about sex by not pressuring her about it...but you still need a DATE with her to get to that point. Just hanging out never crosses that threshold.
2007-02-28 03:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by arjo_reich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something that shows you're a good guy and you ARE interested in her. And do it now, or she'll begin to think of you as just a friend.
Get her a present of some sort. Maybe roses? Or a box of chocolates, Lindor are nice. If she asks why, just say you thought she might like them. But whatever you do, no makeup, or that kind of hints you think she's ugly.
Good luck!!!
2007-02-28 03:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, good job with the word besotted, had to actually look that up. ha
i think telling you personal stuff is a good thing. taking it slow is obvious. maybe just keeping hanging out with her as friends so you guys get to know each other better. just be careful not to get stuck in the friend zone. good luck brother.
2007-02-28 03:49:26 · answer #11 · answered by LawDude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋