Obviously, I'm talking about meeting others on the internet and maybe chatting about inappropriate things. If you've done this and feel guilty, should you tell your significant other? What if they find out about it by reading your e-mail or something, do they have the right to act like you actually physically cheated on them. Can't online chatting considered just fantasy like watching an adult film or looking at an adult magazine? I was just wondering about all of this.
2007-02-28 03:20:52 · 36 answers · asked by SHELTIELUVER 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you feel guilty, if you would want to hide it from your s/o--it's cheating.
2007-02-28 03:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's 2 types of cheating. You can cheat physically and you can also cheat emotionally. If you're talking to other people online about inappropriate things it's a sort of emotional cheating where you share intimate thoughts or fantasies with someone else. Whether or not you should feel guilty depends on the type of person you are. I'm not sure that you should tell your significant other. If they're a forgiving and understanding person then maybe you could explain it to them and ask how they feel about it, but if you know that they'll get angry and view it as cheating you shouldn't say anything. Just stop it right away. Even if you don't see it as doing anything wrong, you should stop if the person you're with would see it as wrong and if you really care about them. And if you're trying to hide it and are afraid that you're significant other will find out, then obviously you understand that it's wrong and that right there should let you know that you should stop. I wouldn't compare online chatting to an adult film or a magazine either because those don't involve any interactions between you and the people you're looking at like online chatting does.
2007-02-28 03:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok there are two sides to this: There is the argument that it is not cheating bc you aren't physically doing anything with the person. However, on the flip side of this: you are EMOTIONALLY cheating on your partner. You obviously have been feeling guilty becuase you mentioned that you were talking to this person online about inapporpraite things. If it was cybersex you definately cheated. It is NOT just like a fantasy becuase it is interactive. Watching porn is simply processing the info, having an internet convo is interactive and requires your attention, and input.
If you have been talking to people online about inappropriate things... (or things that if you were in your partner's shoes you would be unhappy or hurt by), generally that is a symptom that something is wrong or missing in the relationship. Maybe you love your partner but need something else, so figure out what is missing and what needs to be changed (maybe role-playing or something) and if it is changeable then talk to your partner about it. If it isnt changeable the nsave you and your partner the time of continuing the relationship.
Good luck!
2007-02-28 03:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you're doing is something you feel you need to lie to your sig other about, then yes. It's considered cheating. However, if you're open about it and he knows and doesn't have a problem with it then I wouldn't consider it cheating.
I don't agree that online chatting can be in the same category as looking at an adult film or magazine. When you're chatting online, you're conversing with an actual person. Someone who isn't your significant other. When you're watching a film or looking at a magazine, it's an inanimate object. However, everyone's views are different. It's probably best you discuss with your partner how he feels about these types of situations.
2007-02-28 03:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica La La Leigh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends entirely on what sort of chatting, how often and whether it's just finding random people on the internet or always talking to the same person/people...
Cheating is as much a psychological thing as it is physical. Exploring sexual desires (without swapping bodily fluids) with someone is one thing, but building a steady contection is a kin to establishing a relationship, and that could cross the line.
The way I gauge everything I do with my relationship, is I never do anything I know I'd have to hide or anything I would go crazy at him for doing. Thankfully, we're both reasonably laidback.
Take care Lx
2007-02-28 03:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is what they call an "emotional affair" where there is no physical contact, but you are talking about things you shouldn't and so forth. Its considered cheating, to some, if you are saying things to people that you couldn't say to them if your significant other was sitting there watching you. But I personally don't see anything wrong with talking to someone, and even flirting a little, but I believe if you are committed to someone, you should use your best judgement and draw a line and don't cross it. And if that other person is trying to cross it, end the conversation. Thats what I do when I chat, which is rare.
2007-02-28 03:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by txmom81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Off late, this is one of the most interesting question that I've come across. I don't know...there is nothing wrong/right. Yes, your significant other can get hurt. Ok let's put it this way, if tomorrow you find out that your better half is doing the same, what will you feel? Will you take it as a fantasy or something which can break a realtionship? If you answer this you'll get your answer. All the best.
2007-02-28 03:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You conscience will guide you on this one because it knows, better than anyone, how it believes your S/O will react to the news...
So yea, I'm sure you're going to get a lot of responses that tells you that you're not supposed to do it and that if you're having sex with someone through fantasy and roleplaying then you're still *excluding* your S/O from having that experience with you.
However, I'm not so quick to judge. I do think you should have him aware or involved with it. Maybe he'd be interested in it too, maybe not, but honesty keeps everything guilt free.
I tell my wife all the time about what new friend I started talking to or met online. Generally their girls just because, well, just because but she's not threatened or jealous of it... because we're always 100% honest and up front with each other so where does the lack of trust come in long enough to build any guilt?
2007-02-28 03:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by arjo_reich 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how open your relationship is with your significant other.
Part of the on line chatting is the thrill of the secret. If you aren't keeping any secrets from you significant other then what is the problem.
I think most people think of it has adult entertainment. Some people let it go too far and without open communication with the significant other it can led to issues in the relationship.
2007-02-28 03:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by Barb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes...Cheating is not necessarily doing the act! It is leading your heart astray...forgetting about how you would feel if it was someone doing it to you. If you are having friendly conversation and making new friends then heck I am all for it but if you know that you feel guilty then you are prob not acting in a way that your partner would appreciate. I would also think twice if it is something you have handled and don't intend on ever doing again then I dunno for sure if I would tell because it wasn't physical?
2007-02-28 03:29:59 · answer #10 · answered by bbmk333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, why would you want to hook up (even through chats) with someone else. No, its not the same as looking at an adult magazine....the people in the mags won't respond. Get it?
Yes, you should tell your partner and vow not to ever do it again...or don't tell but never again do it.
2007-02-28 03:26:30 · answer #11 · answered by Patricia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋