my fave joke ever.?

Question

a plane is flying over the atlantic when the engines start to fail and it starts to plummett.
they throw out all the seats
but its still too heavy.
they throw out all they luggage
but its still too heavy.
so the englishman gets up says "god save the queen" and jumps out.
but its still too heavy.
the frenchman steps up "viva la france" and he jumps out
but its still too heavy.
next a yank steps up "remember the alamo"
and chucks out the mexican.....



give it a star if ya think its good thanks

Answer 1

Dude, that's cruel! Was it a mexican or native in the alamo?

Anyways, this one has the same flavor:

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Answer 2

it's ok.
this should b ur new fave:
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


or this one although i liked the first one better:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans.

So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

and this one is hilarious!
http://www.starterupsteve.com/flash/html

Answer 3

A blond lady is driving down the Expressway, and traffic is worse than ever. People honking, flashing their lights at her, the works.

She turns on KYW news radio for a traffic report. The radio blares, “NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! There’s a maniac driving the wrong way down the Expressway!”

The lady looks around and exclaims, “My God, there’s a lot of them!”

Answer 4

Heard before but still good. star!

Answer 5

I give you a star now give me a thumbs up!

Answer 6

Heard it long time ago...... still makes me laugh, and deserves the star

Answer 7

It's an old joke, but a good one never the less.

Answer 8

ive heard it before but it never gets old! you deserve a star!

Answer 9

should have said that the four people were on the plane first

Answer 10

hahaha good 1