Me and my boyfriend moved in last aug. before and since then I went to all of his family functions his moms, dads, sisters, gramps, and nefews birthdays christmas, easter everything....
They say " your family!" But in jan on my birthday no one came over to see me? My own boyfriend didn't even get me a card untill two days later. I know I'm not family just the live in girlfriend and I feel they don't treat me the same as they do my boyfriend. Should I stop making the effort with them when I don't get it in return on my birthday.
2007-02-28 02:35:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know exactly where you are coming from.I have been with my bf for almost 11 years and it was the same thing.We got invited to b-days,Christmas,Easter,thanksgiving,etc. but when I would invite them to our daughter or son's b-day partys there was always something else that was planned and they weren't able to attend.And for my bf b-day or any of he's several siblings b-day everyone always goes out to dinner.But when my b-day comes around,which is just b4 a siblings bf b-day that we go to dinner for, no one is around.Don't get a phone call,a text, a email, nothing.Yet we are suppose to be OK with that.
All I know is that it does hurt and it does piss you off but, take it from me, if you stop going to the family functions it will put a strain on your relationship in the long run.
Learn from my mistake.Talk to your bf and let him know that it's bothering you and what your true feelings are concerning the situation.Don't hold it all in until you blow up and say things you might regret saying.Be honest .I hope it works out better for you.Good Luck.
2007-02-28 11:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by bjustnape 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good thing that he asks you to go along with him to his family events. The fact that they didn't come over on your birthday is ok. However, your boyfriend should have let someone know that it was your birthday a week ahead of time so that they might have sent you a card. I would let my b/f know that you were disappointed and didn't feel acknowledged on your birthday.
In-law family is a hard situation to get accepted. It's very important to the relationship though. I would not stir the pot right now but make sure your b/f knows how you feel.
2007-02-28 02:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by jtaylor1993 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes definately go to everything as you and he are together!! Just cause they didn't do your birthday doesn't mean that they don't care. Perhaps they don't do birthdays or maybe its that they don't know when your birthday is. My In Laws weren't aware the first few years of my husband and I's relationship.
My Sister in Law has never to this day remembered her nephews birthdays that is the way she is but it's not my way, everyone is different you will have to just have to put up with it if it's not one of their ways!
It's very hard and I fight it every time their birthdays come around but there ain't nothing I can do if the want is not on her side. I am not changing for anyone!!!
2007-02-28 03:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by KANGA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NEVER stop making the effort. Expressing your frustrations to your boyfriend about his lack of birthday excitement, and his families lack of attention is deserved. But, in the long run, if you plan on spending your life with this man, don't be the smaller person. Go to all the events, grin and bear it, as putting your boyfriend in the middle of you and his family will ultimately end up in your being lonely. Things will turn around, I promise. Just keep trying.
2007-02-28 02:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by greenbuddha03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine you're delving too deep into it. Its my birthday this month and that i'm truly no longer bothered even if i'm getting some thing from my significant different, card or some thing. see you later because it really is recognized, i.e correct known with a reliable birthday drink or nighttime out. perhaps your b/f isn't conscious how a lot you care about your birthday, i'm positive he's not a thoughts reader. in case you deal with him nicely on his birthday, like my different 0.5 does to me, it does no longer advise in any respect you assume an similar in go back. you want to make it sparkling. Are you jealous the interest he receives on his birthday, because you're not to any extent further getting an similar reaction on birthdays out of your own kin? with regard to the party and kin purposes, for sure you should pass to them. in the journey that they did not pick you round etc, they would not invite you for all time. They obviously care a lot to have purposes for all time to make sure the pair of you, my kin do not do this manner of element in any respect except for Christmas. in simple terms have a be conscious with your b/f, and clarify you weren't very inspired jointly with his efforts on your birthday. See if it improves next year or at Christmas. Come to imagine of it, if you're a January baby, i trust you lose out on a large share of grants etc because it really is so on the point of Christmas? only a idea
2016-12-05 01:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by bartow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your bf about these feelings and let him know how you feel that it is one sided. If he, nor the rest of his family do not realize how you feel, they will not be able to change things.
Also, it may just be that they are taking awhile to "warm up" to you. They may not have realized when your birthday was, and not visiting or calling may have been an oversight on their part. Or, they just might not be very sensitive people. Either way, you should take some time to get used to how they are and realize people are people.
2007-02-28 02:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't stop, just be the better person. It probably isn't intentional that they forgot your birthday; the issue with your boyfriend forgetting is a whole other issue for the two of you to resolve. Best of luck! Remember, men are notorious for forgetting the important days; it's a "guy" thing, and doesn't mean they don't care, or love you!
2007-02-28 02:41:52 · answer #7 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the effort - you don't want them thinking you are awkward and being a pain! Explain to your boyfriend it would be lovely to have a get together for your birthday next year and encourage him to get involved in organising it. You could invite your friends and family and he could invite his family. Explain to him you make an effort with/for his family and would appreciate it back sometimes - try not to get into an argument though - be careful...
2007-02-28 02:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did they know it was your birthday? Maybe your negligent boyfriend forgot to tell them. If I were you I would make my own decisions about what you attend and then you would not feel resentful towards them. You need to take some control here - it does sound like it's all going one way and that is not helpful for the future.
2007-02-28 02:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. cause it's not fair and you are doing all the work when they are not. stop going to every single family function. if he is not going to make the effort then why should you. if they are not going to make the effort then why should you. a relationship takes two people in order to work...not one.
2007-02-28 03:26:55 · answer #10 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋