Me and my husband are fighting over new car...help?

Question

Ok, my car broke down a few weeks ago and it's determined to be unfixable. My husband was completely fine driving his car every day (which is an older model car) mine was a 97 cavalier. Neither car was the best, but we were both content.
Now we have to buy a new car. NOW he's saying it's only fair if he gets to take the car to work half the week and I take it the other half. He drives 30 miles to work every day and I drive 10 to work, but I have our kids with me and need to drop them off at sitters, pick up from school, etc.
He never ever wanted to take my cavalier and was totally fine driving his car to work every day without a problem. Now just cuz we get a new car (cuz my primary one broke down) he feels he wants to basically take ownership of the new one and determine who gets to drive it, and when.
He wants to be the decision maker on what car we buy. He gets mad cuz I want a bigger car such as a van or SUV cuz it would be easier with the kids, he wants a taurus.

does this seem fair? please tell me yes or no, and why. thanks!

not to mention that my car broke down in -10 degree weather with both my kids in the back seat!! that's why i want the new one when i have the kids!

Answer 1

Honestly, your scenario is VERY similar to my husband and I. He drives 30 miles one way to work, I drive 6.

We're planning on buying a new car this summer/fall, so we've been discussing it alot.

First, the amount of mileage you put on a new car does effect the value. Sounds like you guys keep your cars for a long time, so you want to think about this.

My hubby knows that and wants to buy a nice car and keep the mileage low. However with his long commute and his current car (a neon) the seats suck and he's not so comfy. He'll probably drive the car to work on tues/thurs, and I'll drive it m/w/f.

When you're married, you tend to both contribute, and regardless of who makes more, you should both benefit equally. Do you really think its fair that he drives a sucktastic car and you get a nicer, newer one? It seems its only becuase of his change of tune that you care-- you thought you'd get to be the only one using it. He probably didnt talk about new cars much becuase he knew it was a financial stretch. Now that its a reality, he wants in on the action.

A happy marriage means compromise. You should each make a list of cars you like and then go to lots and drive them and see the prices. You might be suprised that one appeals to both of you. I'd been stuck on the Jeep Compass or Dodge Caliber, and my hubby wanted a Mustang or a Subaru STI. We checked out tons of cars, and both of us ended up liking the Mazda CX7 and the Ford Edge-- neither of which we'd been considering before that!

Since he wants a car and you want an SUV, why not consider a CUV (Crossover utility) which is meant to appeal to both buyers? Hyundai, Kia, Mazda, Ford, etc all have CUVs.

Anyway, you should let him drive it atleast once or twice a week-- he works for his money too-- and have some input on the car you choose.

Answer 2

no it doesn't seem fair you should go with a more practical car .
especially since there are children ..All thought the Taurus maybe a better car gas wise Don't make the mistake of getting it just because ...My husband and i did that and had to take it in and trade it for that van .... and do you really want to put that many miles on a new car and make the value come down that that much faster ..I currently have a van that was used only for home it has 77,000 miles and is 6 years old my husband who drives 30 miles 1 way to work has a car 2 years younger and has 85,ooo miles guess who's car has a better trade in value mine and that is with all the kid stuff in it .... Good luck

Answer 3

I really don't want to get into a family feud, but both of you have very good points. I agree with the van and somewhat the SUV. If you live where there is a lot of snow, then opt for the SUV with 4 wheel drive. For the SUV go with Toyota. For the van go with Dodge. Forget the Taurus! Go for a Toyota Camry!

Who drives which, when? I think you both need to consider the others feelings and needs. I really think your hubby should reconsider your position, and instead of having to worry wheather his children are safe and sound in a reliable vehicle and not broken down on the side oof the road, give in and let you have it during the week, and he can have it on the week-end.

Answer 4

Tell your husband to grow up and be a man. You get the new car. If the old one breaks down, he can deal with it much easier than you could with the kids in the back seat. My wife drives the new Mercedes and I have to be content with the old Mercury. That's just how it should be.

As far as the Taurus, it is a good car. You don't say how many kids, but if it is two, there will be plenty of room. It will be your car, though, so it is your decision.

Answer 5

Ok, here is the issue at hand:

This sounds like a pretty easy to fix marriage problem involving some miscommunication. I don't want to tell you that you have to sacrifice, but ask yourself how important driving that car is. You and your husband need to have an honest conversation about the new vehicle and your concerns regarding the usage. You sound like a little kid when you come on here and ask the world to solve a simple problem like this. Sit down, spend some time, and act like adults to find a agreeable resolution to this matter.

Answer 6

It is understandable that he wants a new car and to be able to drive it, either a truck, or a faster car.
But you need to look at it from a practical point of view. you need a vehicle that gets decent mileage, has 4 doors, and room for the kids, and room for groceries. You need a practical vehicle, not a play vehicle. I'm sure you would love a sporty car too, but responsibility's come first.

He has likely never had a new car, and believes this is his one chance to fulfill childhood dreams, and be practical. It may just take a little time to sink in, be patient, and touch on some of the tings you need from the car, not want from it.

Answer 7

How about you stick with a 'car' and forget minivans. I've done my homework on these gas guzzling, insurance hogs (more people capacity means more injuries on average...big $$ not worth it) and suv's...they are seriously tippable, and also increase your insurance rate. That said...lets move on to the issue....

How about you and your husband get a newer car? Use his for a trade in (it will ease the downpayment process) Don't get NEW cars as they are NEVER, EVER worth the expense. By the time you've driven it home, it's worth about 4k less than you owe. Buy a certified pre-owned...bigger bang for your buck. Now, if he doesn't need a boat load of space, he should get a small car (seeing as he has a longer commute with less passenger responsiblities,and hopefully he's got adequate manhood to compensate for having a small car; some men like big cars due to their lack of 'manhood') and you should drive a mid-size.

Me and my husband did this, and we don't have this issue.

Answer 8

Since all has to be fair in love and war why has no one mentioned buying a used car? I realize he is the major wage earner and feels he should get his just deserts and drive the new car but financially speaking another used car would considered much more frugal and perhaps less costly insurance.

Answer 9

Yes, it's fair that he would drive it half the time and only natural that he would want to enjoy a new car too. He paid for it too, didn't he? Why should you have it all the time? I doubt your kids care whether or not they're in an older car or a newer one.

Answer 10

don know
sounds like u both need to grow up. sorry in advance don send me hate mail
now. u should have the new car since the strategy is not to put a lot of miles on the new car if u have a 2 car family. why. cause u will eventually be get rid of the old one sooner or later.