Should I be concerned that my 3-year-old son "wants" to be a girl?

Question

My three-year-old (38 months) wanted to try my lipstick and I proceeded to tell him that only girls wear lipstick. He then went on to say, "But I'm a girl," a comment I've heard him make once before in a similar situation. So I then tried to persuade him that he was a boy like Daddy and Mommy was a girl that's why I get to use lipstick. He then insisted that he was like Mommy and not Daddy. This may be a premature reaction but he has previously shown interest in my clothing and shoes and likes "pretty things." He still plays with "boys things" and no one or nothing compares to Bob the Builder and Scoop. But I need some second opinions.

Thanks.

Answer 1

In my opinioin, young kids like to get what they can't have, and in order to get it such as your lipstick they will say they are a girl just to use it. He does play with boys toys still so its really just a little stage right now. Mabey he should spend a little more time with a boy buddy of his for now. ; )

Answer 2

NO worries, my 4 year old son has said that on many an occasion (of course much to my husband's dismay LOL) I'm not too concerned about it since otherwise he is very much a "boy"...loves to play rough, plays with cars and trains, loves icky stuff. I think part of the fascination with girl stuff is just that he is learning that there are things that girls can do that boys can't. It's just a learning process and eventually he'll come to understand it all. My son says these things less and less and just the other day he told me that his baby sister is "pretty" and he's "handsome". So just be patient and keep explaining the differences as they come up and he'll figure it out soon enough.

Answer 3

Try giving him a chapstick. 'Boys' wear that as well. I think YOU need to be more concerned about yourself. To be upset because he wants to try things mommy does *especially* if they will not hurt him, is a bit... well, pathetic. If he is with you the most, it is only natural that he be interested in the things you are. The absolute best thing you can do is stop thinking there are 'boy' and 'girl' roles/things. Experimenting is the only way a child should learn who and what they are. Your job is to give them a 'safe zone' where they have the freedom to do just that without harm.

Answer 4

I am sooo glad that 3 year old son is not the only one who tries to pretend he is a girl. My son plays with mostly girls at day care and everything is all about the color pink. I will say I do worry alot and at times I get mad (it's not his fault he is only 3 and I know I should not act like that) My son does spend more time with me then dad, and I know that's why he act the way he does. I just wish he would play with more boys. He does play with boy toys and knows that baby dolls are for girls and car and truck are for boys. I don't know why I am so bothered over this, but I am.

Answer 5

My very creative 3 year old daughter makes up stories ALL the time that start out "a long time ago when I was a boy..."

She's convinced somehow that when she was a baby she was a boy lol. 3 years of age is way to young to worry about absolutely anything rediculous they might say or do. They're just learning to pretend and make up stories and whatnot. I always just laugh and tell her she's crazy. :)

Answer 6

It's totally normal. He just wanted to try the lipstick because painting your face looks like fun! My son did the same thing when he was about that age and now he's a 4 year old total boy! I remember once when my son was 2, he was running around naked before bedtime and he pushed his penis in and said "Look. I'm a girl". We worried about that but we soon realized it was just normal curiosity.

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry. A little boy I know went through the same thing when he was 3, probably because he spends most of his time with his mom. She humored him, letting him wear hair bows, play dress-up, etc. (Friends and family all gave it a giggle but didn't ridicule him.) He's now 5 and totally a normal boy.

Answer 8

Hopefully this is a phase, but he needs to realize that he is a boy and not a girl. Like my nephew, he plays with his toys, but he'll also play with my daughter's baby doll, and that worries me a little. But I think that he's a toy hog because he'll play with whatever she wants to play with and they fight over it. But have his father do more masculine things to see if that will work. Children are so fickle, so you never know and it's a tough call. But with my nephew, I try not to let him play with her dolls if I can help it, and he has pleanty of trucks, cars, and play tools, so it's really hard to tell. Society has put the gender roles on children on what they should play with and how, so it's hard to say when a child is playing with their counterpart's things and such. We usually don't get on girls for being tomboys, but boys that act girly are automatically assumed to be eventually "gay".

Answer 9

Well , don´t worry at all , your baby is very intelligent and what he see is brilliant colors , nice smells and probably a cute mom! , so he´s free to think whatever , even he is a girl!! , I know ( through my grandma) I wanted the same at this age of your babe , and can assure you I´m a hetero-standard with kids and beloved wife!!

Answer 10

no. he is only three years old. He will reach the stage in a few years where he thinks that girls are icky. but right now he wants to be like his mother, since he has a bond with her.