I have 2 kids, we were together for almost 2 yrs, we had talked of marriage, more kids and all. I started asking for help with paying for my kids, he said he shouldnt have to, they arent his though he loves them like they are. He felt that their fathers should pay, I am working with child support enforcement and we are trying. I kicked him out of my trailer for not at least compromising and now we are just friends, though we are still sleeping together, I help him out with things or if he is sick, I help him. He watches my kids every once in a while for me. He says he doesnt want a girl friend right now and I have found out he had a lot of problems while we were together. I know deep down there is no hope, but with everything we are doing it seems like we are still a couple but no commitment, is he getting his cake and eating it too?
2007-02-28 02:07:26 · 17 answers · asked by Angelunderfire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you want to get over him...stop sleeping with him!!!
2007-02-28 02:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by <3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh god why do so many women do this?? i know you love him and you're still emotionally involved which is why you're still sleeping with him, but trust me it's only gonna hurt more this way. You MUST stop, distance yourself completely and start again. Others may say keep hope and the future may promise him to you again but i've seen this SO MANY TIMES and its never worked out well. i would recommend a clean break and perhaps a long time in the future you could be friends again, but not now. now you need to find a new life for yourself and your kids. of course the kids may want to see him but you can still maintain that distance from him emotionally. I'm sorry, its so hard but i've cleaned up many broken hearts of girlfriends in the same situation.
2007-02-28 10:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to this question. If he doesn't want a girlfriend, and he is still sleeping with you, and won't help support you and your kids then yes he is getting over on you. It seems like you want more from this relationship, and it's not going to happen. The best thing you could do is to stop seeing this guy, and get yourself together for you and your children. Stop taking care of him, and get the child support you need for your children.
2007-02-28 10:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Stop sleeping with him, he's just using you as a booty call.
2. Start paying for your kids. I know its hard, but honestly do you think any guy will want to hang around when you ask him to support the kids you had with another guy?
3. Quit babying this guy, if he's sick he can take care of himself. I do believe he is a grown man.
4. Try to focus on life and your kids, love will eventually find you.
2007-02-28 10:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by sinkablehail1978 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First stop sleeping with him. You are better than that. A man is only going to do as much as you let him. Move on girl! Think of your relationship as a business merger. You two merged to produce a product (two successful kids). If you feel that there is a future for you two let him know how you feel and if he doesn't say what you want to hear then definitely move on.
2007-02-28 10:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tricee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he isn't with you because you wanted him to pay for anothers child. I don't know if he is "getting his cake and eating it too" as it takes two to tango, if you know what I mean. He sounds more like a friend with benefits that watches your kids. I agree with him, why should he have to pay for someone elses children and why would you expect him to?
2007-02-28 10:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by danzahn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The term is "friends with privileges". He gets all the fun and none of the responsibility. You are selling yourself short. Time to make a clean break and find someone who wants to be with you other than for a quick roll in the sack.
2007-02-28 10:11:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least your kinda still with him. me and my girl broke up 5 months ago after three years, i moved across country to get away and i still cant get her out of my heart. we dont even talk! no but seriously, sounds like he's getting a lot of cake to me. if he wants to be with you, then he should help support your kids. dont give up on your kids for some guy, please. my mom did that, and i am not alright. i have issues.
2007-02-28 10:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by flamemaster_lang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you really need to move on, there is no reason why you can't remain friends but you might need to point out to him that being a friend mean being there to help you as you help him, not just indulging whenever he feels like it. If you are still havign sex just to indulge urself there is always plenty more guys out there, don't just be a slave to the same old groove.
2007-02-28 10:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by Diz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately sometimes it is hard for us to cut the strings once its over. You should look at the bigger picture which is your children. They are what is most important. Think about what type of message are you sending to them, when it comes to the men in your life. The only way to truly get him out of your system is to leave him alone completely........
2007-02-28 10:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by Shawnese D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, time to move on...he wants a commitment whenever its convenient for him(without dealing with the kids of course)...total mind games, he wants you but doesn't realize that the kids come with you, he needs to evaluate his self as a man and stop being selfish.Sex is sex if thats all it is, but if he has a so called bond with your children then he needs to do whatever he can to be there for you and yours and grow up.
2007-02-28 10:16:07 · answer #11 · answered by Marshall S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋